Where's the Lemonade?

Christmas is a wonderful time to reflect and give thanks. But it is often a time of stress, college kids returning home, and in-laws visiting. All of the normal pressures of "Christmas Expectations" is compounded when you add a blended family. Sharing time with your kids, duplicate presents, and who gets to take the kids to the latest "Star Wars" are just some of the things you have to worry about...

In this episode find out how gratitude helps fight depression and anxiety by re-wiring the brain. Find out how we have tried to teach our kids real gratitude, what works and what we did wrong. Why is Gratitude so important It rewires the brain Increases will power Keeps you calm Boost morale Count your blessings The more you practice gratitude, the more attuned you are to it and the more you can e...

Divorce can bring out the worst in people. Competition between ex(s) only magnifies the bad feelings and contention in the relationship. Many times kids can feel this tension and can even become the center of the competition, feeling like a pawn in a highly competitive chess match. In this episode, we talk about how to avoid competition with your Ex or your Ex's spouse. Competing for the Kids When...

In this episode, we talk about setting and sticking to boundaries as a step-parent. Boundaries with step kids and ex-spouses. Talking negatively about your spouse's ex Never in front of the kids or around the kids. Kids hear everything. Be cautious Talking to your spouse about their ex. Be careful about negative conversations with anyone else. Disciplining your stepchildren What about kids being r...

In this episode, Darren and Paige spend some time together alone. No kids. This time in Greece. Follow their adventures to Athens, Santorini, and Peloponnese. Why spending time alone together is important Recharge our relationship. Put all of our worries behind and focus on each other. Fall in love again. Athens We arrived in the late afternoon and checked into the Grande Bretagne. Great hotel.  W...

In this episode learn why it is important to take time to frequently renew your relationship. In our recent time away we recorded this podcast about the last eight years of our marriage. Find out our highs and lows and what we learned from it all. What is different now compared to 8 years ago Our relationship with Darren's Ex has evolved. Time heals wounds. The roller coaster of your relationship...

Decorating for the Holidays is a great tradition that turns a house into a home. For Paige and Darren, this was critical to helping their kids feel somewhat normal after blending the families. Even though we love the way our home is decorated, Darren's aversion to a disaster of a garage and piles of boxes made this time a year a time of dread and anxiety. Find out how we made our way through this....

Many times we are searching for the perfect lemonade when we are dealt lemons. We know if we are positive enough and with enough sugar, we can find good in anything thrown our way. But sometimes we need to adjust our expectations to fit the current situation. In this episode, we talk about finding our own lemonade in these tough situations.  Life can be hard Things don't always turn out the way yo...

Find out how Darren & Paige handle Middle Schoolers that are going through "The Change" from perfect little kids to tweenies and teenagers with raging hormones and attitudes as they try and learn to become adults. Throw a blended family and two sets of parents and problems become even more difficult to manage. Middle School aged kids Middle school is when Kids get their hormones, Puberty is ju...

This week Paige continues to teach Darren what she learned at "Education Week". This episode we tackle managing problems, not solving problem, managing them. Some problems, like putting socks in the hamper,  take a long to solve, but all problems can be managed.   Checking in Exacerbated by my kids, your kids. We are sensitive to this and what we actually do it. Complaints aren’t fun but we need t...

In this episode, Darren and Paige cover the importance of Girl's trips, the emotions of the husband left behind. History of Girls trips From 1993 to 2008 the number of "Girl's Trips" grew by 230%.  From 2008 to 2019 it more than doubled again. 25% of adult women have taken a girl's trip in the last 3 years 40% of adult women plan to take a girl's trip in the next 3 years Paige's girl's trips. Purp...

Paige went to "Education Week" and attended several marriage relationship classes. In this episode, Paige talks to Darren about what she learned on how we can avoid toxic behavior in our relationship and strengthen our marriage. Toxic Behavior Vision for your marriage. Good communication, and fun. Risk factors and danger signs. Conflict is not always bad. Certain patterns of conflict are bad. Dang...

The fall brings kids going back to school or even leaving home to go to College for the first time. In this episode, we talk about the perils of back to school in a blended family and the emotions of sending kids off to college for the first time.  Kids back to School Boohoo, Woohoo Breakfast celebration. The emotions of the kids being gone When your youngest goes off to kindergarten or first grad...

  Time apart can be hard and taxing on a marriage. But there are many situations where it is inevitable. Time apart comes in many forms, work travel, traveling to see kids, a spouse in the military, it all takes a toll on your marriage and your relationship. In this episode, we talk about the dangers of being apart and some tips to overcome the side effects.  Situations of being apart Spouse trave...

Friends are yet another tricky subject in divorce. Who gets what friends after a divorce? Does your new spouse make friends with your friends? What happens if you are in the same social circles still? Are there people that want to be friends with both you and your ex? It gets complicated really fast. In this episode, we talk about the pitfalls and traps and how to avoid them. Who Gets the Friends...

When people get divorces there is a huge financial explosion. All of the assets you have built together are now going to be exploded and divided. Not just two ways, lawyers will get their cut as well. But your financial obligation does not stop there, it is just the beginning. The emotions around money in divorce, alimony, and child support are pretty raw. In this episode, we investigate those fee...

Right after a divorce is hard for everyone. You and your kids will be going through all ranges of emotion. You have a tendency to act based on those emotions of fear, guilt, sadness, and anger. Many times, this leads to uncharacteristically doing things you would not normally do. Like, getting a dog even though you are allergic, or skydiving, or heading to Disneyland. In this episode, we explore t...

One of the worst days in our lives was telling our kids we were getting divorced. Turns out it is also the worst day in the lives of our kids too. In this episode, we discuss how we navigated the tricky conversation that we had with our kids. Our approaches were very different but we found some common things that seemed to work, and some things that did not work so well. How to tell your kids your...

Open communication is important to any relationship. Don't mistake open communication for transparency like we did. Transparency is about visibility,  open communication is more about how, when and where you communicate. In this episode find out how Darren & Paige muddle through their journey to open communication in their marriage. In Marriage Be Timely  (Don't put it off, but make sure it is...

Triggers exist from previous marriages, childhood trauma and just living life. In this episode, we discuss how we have been able to navigate triggers, sometimes successfully sometimes not so much. Find out how to handle triggers, avoid them and recover from them. Triggers Pavlov's Dogs - Ring a bell and they salivate. A trigger is an intense, emotional reaction to a present behavior that reminds y...

In this episode learn how a trip to the Oregon Coast quickly turned into a business trip to Washington DC for Darren. Paige decided to join him so they could have some quality time alone together. Travel log and some nice back and forth about a missed romantic trip. Business Trips Plan time to be together. We with no kids turned into a week together. We had planned to spend 5 days in Oregon but Da...

How do you discipline children in a blended family? How do you combine your two styles? How do you teach children across multiple households? There are many techniques and opinions on this subject. Now you get to hear our perspective on how we learned how to navigate this treacherous part of blending families.  What is Discipline Quick Definition – Discipline = Rules + Consequences Discipline is d...

Are you having a hard time figuring out custody schedules with your ex? Are you 50/50 and don't know if you should be a week on week off? Or are you looking at a 2-2-5-5? If you don't even know what these are you can hear the nightmare of scheduling when you have a blended family in this podcast. We discuss the pitfalls and successes we found in negotiating and working custody schedules. Managing...

In this episode we discuss how hard it is to be a step-mom on Mother's Day, heck even Biological Mom's have a hard time with Mother's Day. Find out how we deal with this great day to remember the Moms in our lives. Feeling Let down on Mother's Day Happens to Both Mom's and Step Mom's Look at the roots of Mother's Day Started by Anna Jarvis in 1908 by having a special Sunday Service in remembrance...

This was a rough week for Paige & Darren, as Paige's mom is checked into the ER and while there her dad suddenly passes away. Darren was 3000 miles away on a work trip and Darren learned how to rely on friends to help out in the hopeless situation. A thousand-mile roundtrip, a broken down car and an emotionally and physically exhausting week led to many lessons learned. Start of the Week Paige...