When Love Hurts

In this episode, we explore the healing journey for women who have experienced abuse. Jill and I share that in the first edition of the book, we didn’t yet have the chapter on healing. It wasn’t until we had supported women over longer periods – and listened deeply to what they told us – that we were able to understand this phase more fully. As we always do, we gathered women together and asked th...

In this episode, we talk about how men’s abuse profoundly impacts mothering and how that abuse so often continues after separation through the legal system.  We begin by reflecting on our own experiences of being mothered and mothering, grounding us in the reality that parenting is never meant to be done alone. From there, we explore how abusive men undermine women’s ability to parent authenticall...

Services can repeat dynamics of abuse. In this episode we explore the concept of "harms of help" – the negative experiences women have with the very people and services meant to support them.  This concept came from our research, where over 250 women were asked about what barriers they faced when seeking support. Many women described to us how the support they sought through services and professio...

In this episode, we take on the question women ask again and again: Why is he abusive? Women are desperate for an answer. They want to understand his need for power and control – where it comes from, what drives it, and whether he’s even aware of it. For many women, this becomes a pivotal point in making sense of their situation. There are many unfounded theories and explanations commonly offered...

We want to thank you for joining us for this heavy, but essential, conversation. Be gentle with yourself as you listen; grab your coffee or tea and give yourself the space and time you need. Historically, everyone — from services to courts to friends — has focused on what he did. "Did he kick? Did he choke? Was it bad enough to count as abuse?" Can she prove it? But this focus on his behaviour com...

In this episode of the When Love Hurts podcast, we unpack the realities of power and control in abusive relationships. We dive into a deeper exploration of the Power and Control Wheel, a tool we use every day in our work with women. We speak about why this tool matters so much, how it builds on the cycle of abuse, and how it helps women name and understand the tactics used against them. As we walk...

In this episode, we take a deeper look at the cycle of abuse, what it is, how it functions, and how it impacts women both during a relationship and after separation. We begin by sharing our own first encounters with the cycle and then break down each phase, exploring why it’s so confusing, why it’s so effective at trapping women, and why outsiders so often miss what’s really happening. The cycle d...

In this first episode of When Love Hurts , Alison, Jo, Jill, and Karen come together to begin a conversation they've been passionate about for decades. They created this podcast because they've seen far too many women bravely seek help only to be misunderstood, minimized, or given advice that leaves them more vulnerable. The creators want women, and the professionals who support them, to finally h...

We're counting down the days until the launch of our podcast! We're very excited about producing and publishing these conversations. Season One launches November 25 ! Join us as we reframe the conversation about abuse, healing, and hope. Every day, we hear from women who are living with or recovering from abuse. These women are often harmed further by the misinformation that surrounds them. In thi...

What if everything you thought you knew about abuse wasn't quite right? What do you do when you realize the man you're with is not who he says he is? But you can't quite put your finger on exactly what the problem is. What do you do when you feel trapped and alone in your relationship, but everyone else thinks he's such a great guy. The authors of When Love Hurts, a Woman's Guide to Understanding...

The When Love Hurts book and material is an an incredible resource for women who are experiencing abuse in their relationship. It transforms perspectives and understanding. Alison has a Master’s of Counselling Psychology and works in a counselling practice providing individual and group counselling. Alison continues to co-facilitate a WLH support group through MCC Saskatoon. Jo is a Registered Cli...