When Depression is in Your Bed℠

Six months into the "When Depression Is In Your Bed" podcast, I realized I'd barely touched on one of the most significant aspects of depression in relationships—the impact on sexual intimacy and physical connection. The bed isn't just where we sleep; it's where we dream, where we struggle with insomnia or can't find the energy to rise, and where we reach for connecti...

Discover the relationship-transforming power of "staying out of your stories" - a skill that can fundamentally change how you navigate conflicts with your partner. This episode reveals how our nervous systems create automatic narratives during tense moments that feel absolutely true but often lead us astray. When conflict emerges, our brains instantly attach meaning to what's happen...

Feeling constantly disappointed by your partner—or feeling like you're always the one disappointing them? This painful dynamic shows up in nearly every relationship, creating a loop of frustration that can feel impossible to escape. As a therapist and someone who's lived this pattern in my own marriage, I can tell you there's a way out. The breakthrough comes from understanding what...

Discover the relationship dynamic that may be silently sabotaging your connection with your partner. In this eye-opening exploration, I reveal how well-intentioned efforts to help our partners often create a painful pattern where one person feels chronically disappointed while the other internalizes being the disappointment. Drawing from my personal journey through marital separation and reconcili...

The path to a transformed relationship rarely follows a straight line. Most couples encounter significant challenges when trying to work together toward positive change, often finding themselves caught in familiar cycles of frustration despite their best intentions. This episode explores two pivotal moments where partnership efforts commonly derail: at the very beginning when trying to establish t...

What if the secret to relationship transformation isn't trying harder alone, but working smartly together? That's the revolutionary concept at the heart of this episode, where I challenge the common myth that one person can (or should) do all the heavy lifting in a relationship. Whether you've been carrying the relationship load by yourself or you've stepped back while your par...

Feeling like you're carrying the entire weight of your relationship while your partner seems to be coasting? You're not alone—and the solution might surprise you. Most of us have been fed a harmful myth that if we just work hard enough on ourselves and the relationship, everything will improve. This message is particularly strong for women in heterosexual relationships, who are often enc...

Depression can trap us in an exhausting cycle of waiting for better days that rarely last. We feel stuck, disconnected, and increasingly hopeless as we search for the magical formula that will finally break us free. But what if moving forward doesn't require having it all figured out first? What if the key lies not in grand plans but in learning to take one attuned step at a time? Your nervou...

Are you caught up just going through the motions each day? Stuck in a cycle that doesn't feel terrible but certainly doesn't feel good either? That familiar static place can become surprisingly comfortable, even as it drains our sense of aliveness and meaning. Today we explore how to break free using what I call the "Take-a-Step Approach" – a gentle, biology-based method that w...

Feeling stuck in a numbed-out state, just going through the motions day after day? Longing for something more but unsure how to find your way forward? This deeply compassionate exploration offers concrete, accessible steps that can help you to begin moving out of a mild, moderate or even severe depression. Through understanding how our nervous systems become trapped in what experts call the "...

Depression creates a profound disconnect in relationships that can feel impossible to bridge. The path from where you are to where you want to be might seem unclear or overwhelming—but what if crossing that distance requires just one step at a time? In this illuminating episode, I share the invitation that concludes each of my podcasts—an invitation many listeners may miss but that contains the mo...

Have you ever noticed that your attempts to help your partner through depression, work stress, or life challenges often backfire? There's a reason your well-intentioned support sometimes lands as criticism or pressure—and it has everything to do with your nervous system. Drawing from both professional expertise and twenty years in a relationship with a partner who experienced depression, Tris...

Faced with the crucial question of whether to stay in or leave a relationship? Your body holds wisdom your mind can't access. This episode completes a seven-part journey through conscious relationship decision-making with arguably the most powerful question: What does your nervous system tell you when contemplating staying versus leaving? Many of us live disconnected from our bodies, missing...

What happens when your relationship requires so much of you that there's nothing left for yourself? For two decades of my marriage, I poured everything into caring for my depressed partner, losing myself in the process. But a profound shift occurred when I finally asked: "Can I deeply love and care for myself and continue in this relationship?" This question emerged during a perfect...

Are you caught in relationship limbo, seeing all the problems but unsure if you really want to leave? The very focus on what's wrong might be precisely what's keeping you stuck.  When we're in pain, we develop what I call "stubbed toe syndrome" – one part hurts so badly that we forget the rest feels fine. Similarly, in troubled relationships, especially those affected by d...

Why do we stay in relationships that don't fulfill us? What invisible forces bind us to partners even when our conscious mind desires change? The answer lies beneath the surface of awareness, in the powerful realm of unconscious attachment patterns formed decades ago. This deep-dive exploration uncovers the second question in my seven-question framework for making conscious relationship decis...

Have you been thinking about ending your relationship but something keeps holding you back? You're not alone. This raw and thoughtful exploration unpacks the invisible barriers that keep us stuck in relationships we're contemplating leaving. Drawing from 20 years of personal experience in a relationship complicated by depression, I walk through the first of my seven-question framework de...

What if those recurring thoughts about leaving your relationship aren't actually telling you to leave, but instead signaling something deeper happening in your nervous system? In this vulnerable exploration of relationship indecision, I share my own experience of contemplating divorce "more times than I could count" over twenty years of being in a relationship affected by depression...

Caught in the mental tug-of-war between staying in your relationship or finally walking away? When depression complicates an already difficult decision, finding clarity can feel impossible. Drawing from both professional expertise as an Imago Relationship Therapist and deeply personal experience navigating a 20-year relationship affected by depression, Trish Sanders offers a transformative framewo...

When I met Ben on Match.com, it was the early 2000s and online dating still carried warnings about meeting axe murderers. Both lonely in New York City, we connected over coffee that turned into a nine-hour adventure across the city. That meeting launched what I fondly call our "Summer of Love" – those magical first months where we experienced what Imago Relationship Therapists call &quot...

Are you exhausted by how much effort you've put in trying to figure out how to help yourself or your partner move out of depression?  Are you sick of the struggle?  Are you longing to finally figure out this seemingly impossible puzzle??  Look no further, the missing piece that will help your whole picture come together is here!  This episode invites you into the transformative world of Polyv...

Talking about depression can often lead to what feels like a dead-end, a place in which we understand that someone feels bad, but not necessarily what can be done to help.  This may lead to feelings of isolation, frustration, hopelessness and more.  But what can be possible if we reframe the conversation and increase awareness of what is truly happening in the experience of depression?  Join host,...

Imagine feeling disconnected from everything and everyone around you, even yourself. This episode, hosted by Trish Sanders, embarks on a journey to unravel the complexities of depression by examining how it manifests beyond clinical labels, through personal insights and professional perspectives. You'll gain an understanding of depression's many faces—how it can arise from life events li...

In this second part of "What to Expect," the focus is on how to use this podcast in a way that increases the chances of the listener successfully applying the information obtained into their own relationship and life.  The host, Trish Sanders, aims to empower the listen to tap into their inner knowing so they may be attuned to what they truly need on their healing journey.  There is no n...

This episode is packed with a variety of information to help build a supportive foundation on which to do meaningful, successful relationship work.  This is the first of a two part series, "What to Expect".  The host, Trish Sanders, is aware that people who tune in to When Depression is in Your Bed may bring expectations (consciously or not) for her, the podcast, themselves or their part...