What would Brian Bevan say

Has coach Price finally discovered his best seventeen? The podcast reflects on a brilliant collective Wire effort, along with some outstanding individual performances. And is Stefan Ratchford the best number 13 in Super League - even though he won’t be able to walk for a week? After receiving a written warning, Dennis is rubbed up the wrong way, but what are the best 10 things to touch? Sam shows...

With Declan set to leave Wire, the podcast desperately tries to sell off Patton merchandise. The monetisation doesn’t stop there though, with Rob pushing for a sponsorship deal that ‘plumbs’ new depths. Dennis‘ Tackle Bags is distracted by breaking news. Sam calculates how many replicas of him make up the energy of one Mamo. And is Samy Kibula’s body shape the same as Les Dawson’s lead dancer or a...

Which washing detergent does Coach Price use? We may not have the answer but Steve’s attacking stats come out in the wash during Sam’s shitistics. Dennis signals the death of RL fair play, following Flakey Blake‘s show-pony antics. Rob reveals the average IQ of a podcast listener with Catchment Universal Mathematically - Generated Arithmetic Reynolds Geometrics Listener Enticer. And just what did...

As Wire return victorious, the podcast can finally discuss a match... but more importantly where would Idris Elba and Bill Arthur go clubbing together? Steve Price invents a new word, “Blind-Shotted”, which turns out to be a section at Jerkmeoff.com . Dennis, restricted by recording in his holiday B&B’s public lounge, only swears twice. Sam has new graph paper for his shitistics as he blows th...

As Wire get ready for action with no spectators, Area 51 takes a look at Warrington attendances. Steve Price moves away from his ‘resilience’ saying to his new quote of ‘versatility’, but are the Wolves fringe players as versatile as the Swiss Army knife? Meanwhile over the alpine border it’s the sharpness of a French cutting-edge commentator that tops the vote, as the podcast also votes on Daniel...

This week, the Podcast rewrites the Wire kickers’ record books, following the application of the Magnus Effect and kinetic energy. Dennis’ Tacklebags’ new Rugby ball invention is far from a drag. Sam’s eyes water after hearing an anagram of Danny Walker. And can Rob perfect his Brian Cox impersonation before the podcast tracks down Warrington’s Greek winger Pheidippides on the Island of Lesbos? Pl...

As the podcast converts to Rugby Union, can Wire convert to a 58% winning ratio in their home, away or neutral bids?  Dennis seeks planning permission on Saddleworth Moor for the new RL Superdome. Sam relives a 38,000ft sexual encounter with Henry Fa'afili, before Chris Hill drops by Rimmer’s Lot where there’s a sticky situation. And Rob reads a Lockdown Letter from a Barbie fan who’s the niece of...

To scrum or not to scrum, that is the question. Yes, the podcast goes in search of the phantom Super League scientific paper, as well as Andrew Johns’ file, held in Area 51. Rob details Barbie’s extensive vehicle portfolio from 1962 to 1990, Dennis’ tackle bags ‘snatches’ a pay-as-you-play scheme, and Sam can’t get enough of a bare-chested Luther. Rimmer’s Lot is back with aristocracy visiting the...

The podcast brings you a parodic sitcom set at the new national RL museum, entitled ‘Rimmer’s Lot’. And following on from the Greg Inglis scoop, the lads discuss just what he was cooking in his microwave. Sam’s shitistics analyse how much you should pay for a good hooker, which easily converts to Amsterdam red light currency. Dennis’ tackle bags has the leading sports trainer manufacturers queuing...

What would Brian Bevan say presents a podcast exclusive, as we are privileged to be joined by footballing genius, Greg Inglis. We hear about Greg's proud Indigenous heritage and how his youth turned him into the skilful player we see today. He reminisces about his time with Melbourne and the Bunnies, and explains why he is ready to continue his Rugby League journey at the Halliwell Jones. We discu...

This week’s guest Daniel, from I’ve Got A Loose Wire, educates the podcast on the hobby of blogging. Sam’s shitistics take aim at Wire coaches, but is there a coach with the capacity to take 60 pensioners to watch Arthur Askey? A player’s Instagram profile leads to a standoff between young and old, and Dennis’ new interactive referees' top, comes with a confusing dry clean only warning. A Green Pa...

Dave Birch, commentator for Warrington Hospital Radio, is this week’s guest. We find out from Dave what it takes to commentate on the Wire, but more importantly, which player he was attracted to that wore denim shorts on cold Sunday evenings. ITV Presenter Davina McCall goes on a search for Steve Price in a special episode of Long Lost Tactics. Sam decides to read out the Wire props’ Tinder profil...

As the vertical green and red stripes win the club’s top of the tops, the ley lines are drawn in this week's podcast by determining statistically which Wire wingers are the best - but there's only one speedster that aligns with a podcaster's erection. Sam takes a confusing look at the salary cap without a caveat of VAT. Following a fan's lockdown letter sent from the Channel Islands, Rob refuses t...

The Rugby coach Steve Anderson served a terrific apprenticeship in the heartland of Queensland Rugby League, before an incredible coaching journey took him to the newly-formed team, the Western Reds. With the Super League war in full swing, Steve would then help create the Melbourne Storm. After the Storm made history by winning their first grand final, Steve would go one step further and become a...

Has the podcast rebranded to become the Greg Inglis show? Flakey Blako preaches to his disciples about a Tuesday evening drive through, much to the annoyance of Brothers Waywell and London. Lockdown Letters receives its first transgender email, leaving two coaching styles embroiled in a clash of gender. The listeners vote relocation relocation to decide where Wire’s new superstar should call home....

Chris Riley is this week's podcast guest. We chat with Chris about growing up and adapting to his brother's illness, and how playing Rugby League for Penketh High School gave him a great start in the game. Chris tragically lost his mother on Christmas Day, and we hear from Chris about the wonderful compassion Tony Smith showed him - a story not many have heard. We learn how Paul Cullen gave Chris...

With the 75th anniversary VE celebrations fresh in the podcasters’ minds, Dennis and Rob fight over their respective Granddads’ war contributions. And which Warrington players will have their conscriptions renewed, or be demobbed by the club? A political affair leaves Ben Currie on rations of powdered egg. Daniel is left shell shocked in the trenches following a podcasting mission that was a bridg...

With no guests on this week's episode, the podcasters are left scratching their heads with the realisation that embracing solitude is the "new norm". They discuss whether Wire were a second row forward short in their quest for the 93-94 Championship, before Dennis takes an in-depth look at the Halifax team and completely misses the point - along with managing to exceed this month's expletive quota...

What would Brian Bevan say is honoured by the presence of the BBC's Mr Rugby League, Dave Woods. Strap in for a marathon podcast, as Dave discusses his endurance rowing achievement and his feeble pet guinea pig he keeps in his garage that he's trying to Mirror into a fine physical specimen. We discuss Dave's road to journalism - and Lincolnshire - but more importantly we discover the difference be...

Lee Briers personifies Rugby League and in this week’s episode Lee joins the podcast to discuss his incredible career, coaching, and multicoloured beard. We learn how he’d gatecrash Knowsley Road, which St Helens players are best to throw house bricks at, and just where and when to break into the Halliwell Jones. We chat about how Lee’s caring for NHS frontline workers, those vulnerable in the com...

What would Brian Bevan say podcast is honoured to be in the presence of Warrington Wolves legend and now head of strength & conditioning for England Rugby Union - Jon Clarke.  In an hour-long special, Jon reflects on his amazing Rugby League journey from signing as a teenager for Wigan, to his move to the capital following a life-changing experience, his arrival at his beloved Wire, and how hi...

With no Rugby League, the action comes in the way of the fabulous Sun sports journalist Gary Carter. The podcast questions Gary on the Wolves but the little devil seems more up for promoting his beloved Salford. We celebrate 25 years of Super League with more of Gary‘s Salford anecdotes, and will Dennis’ new board game be plagiarised by Gary to boost Salford revenue? Sam and Gary collectively knoc...

With the Super League season suspended, Simon and Karl are trapped together in an underground Cheshire bunker, as the podcast is left to reflect in isolation on what was, and will be. Due to a booking error, rather than Tina Turner joining the show, the brilliant Matthew Turner, sports journalist from the Warrington Guardian, steps in. We find out from Matt just when Tony Smith will look you in th...

As the apocalypse approaches, Warrington win in the city of Hull, which ironically is pretty much the end of the earth. Ben Murdoch Masila’s new hairstyle goes viral in a listener vote off, as Dennis - wearing his new, innovative, bright red chevron Wire jersey - offers to meet the big man at the barbers. Sam’s obsession with Ben Currie reaches pandemic proportions, and due to his self-isolation h...

It’s a somewhat mixed listener reaction following the Castleford win. Was it only hard slog and commitment that edged Wire to victory, or was there quality also in their performance? Currie adds chilli to the mix, leading to a spike in his heat’o’meter reading, but the absent Burrell is left dining elsewhere following a delivery of opulant John Lewis cutlery. Dennis decides to write to Karl Fitzpa...