What would Brian Bevan say

With Warrington’s third place finish assured, the podcast asks the big questions. Were the ingredients of Sam’s pie at the Huddersfield game a metaphor for Wire’s performance? Will aliens soon be landing on Médecin Marvin Koukash? And why on earth did Rob, in Mr Smiths, pick a fight with Tony Tatupu? Plus, there’s a winner of Steve Price Bingo, a Rugby League human centipede, and a primary source...

Is it postponements or cancellations, and just how many tickets can you roll over? Yes, the podcast embraces yet another week of clusterfuck Super League. Dennis looks closely at essential job descriptions before offering alternatives, all whilst recording at 36,000 feet. Sam is kept up all night after partaking in a Wakefield e-riddled preservative-filled blue ice cream, and Rob considers taking...

With the Olympics in full swing, the podcast puts together its best 10 Wire players to compete in a Decathlon. A refreshing change sees Sam frame his shitistics precisely, unlike the framework of his bay window. Dennis decides a gay anthem pop song fits perfectly to the beat of Warrington's new star George Williams, and Rob discovers just how many pixels make up Matt Davis on a 4K TV. Plus, there'...

What would Brian Bevan say returns, but has a long absence, a stint in the  jungle and the Euro's left the podcasters with match day amnesia? Sam brings his plagiarised shitistics on George Williams, Rob a pound or two heavier reads a lockdown letter serving up french porridge. And move over Gareth Southgate, as Dennis gives his own uninspiring Grand Final team talk. Plus, it's all-hands-on-deck w...

Just how thin is Warrington's right-edge defence, Rob asks, before coming up with a list of comparisons. Warning - Sam breaks his record for expletives, and Dennis becomes all confused following a dose of Bermuda amnesia. Brace yourself for Daniel's soundbite, and strap-in for high seas on HMS HJ. Plus, there's a brawl at the free bar, and the real story behind the failure of the 1970's American R...

With Wire’s marquee halfback full of beans, Warrington become the most attacking side in Super League, but has Toby King been hoodwinked by Simon Moran’s percentages? A homesick George turns out to be a dead ringer for a Canadian snooker player. Sam goes in search of a 1980’s discotheque, Dennis opens a free bar, and Rob questions a player’s penis through the reflection of a convex or concave coff...

With fans back at the Halliwell Jones cheering on the Wire, the podcast ironically has no applause for Stevie’s team selection. Rob finds himself babysitting as his 6th wife deserts him for Eurovision. Dennis bathes in his fails and unexpectedly massages in Imperial Leather. And Sam’s dog senses an upset, following its scent-less antics. Plus, Chris Sandow contacts the pod and HMS HJ drops anchor...

There’s rumours a-plenty on this week’s podcast, which leads to another jingle. But if that’s not enough, the pod is joined by YouTube star Jake Lindsay from the Warrington Foundation. Rob blows his top following hate mail on Twitter. Sam’s shitistics go on for that long Jake turns to his phone. And Dennis loses the plot with a soundbite clusterfuck. Plus, HMS HJ heads for the Rock of Giblets. Enj...

It’s an apologetic podcast following Warrington’s magnifique performance, as the lads try to butter up their predictions from the previous week. Sam’s shitistics prove we’ve found our fourth prop, but ridiculously only one player can score down the Wolves’ right edge. Rob becomes an advocate for intermated player breeding. And Dennis goes in search, according to Sky’s commentary, of Warrington’s n...

What would Brian Bevan say reviews two games in the company of blogger Daniel. But will the intrusion of an extra podcaster lead to another Iranian Embassy siege? Rob’s obsessed with points percentages and the fluid / nut ratio of Tom Lineham’s bollocks. Sam takes his stats to Albania. And Dennis’ social golden point distancing comes into question whilst oblivious to firewalls. Plus, Mutiny on the...

After Warrington come up with a convincing win, the podcast questions just how shit are Leigh? Rob receives a letter of complaint but Carry’s On with his themed teams. Sam puts all his Wire golden boy posters back up. And Dennis fails to breakdown the molecular structure of a Flake, as he unexpectedly turns up the heat on Blake. Plus, HMS HJ outmanoeuvres a Primrose submarine. Enjoy.

After an abysmal opening Wire performance, the podcast goes in search of the answers to what went wrong. Sam's positivity towards Price wanes a numerical point, Rob investigates a specifc Doctor's Hippocratic Oath, and Dennis sits on his bench as he fails to explain the unexpected. Plus, there's Mutiny on the HJ and the Powell of Love. Enjoy.

With Wire’s first game not too far away, the podcast returns for a third season. The Classification Universal Numerical Tariff Society predicts the Super League top eight. Rob offers up his thoughts on a Ugandan dictator who would make an excellent prop, Dennis‘ Tackle Bags is replaced by Fails or the Unexpected, and Sam gets all lost at sea with the new “What would Brian Bevan say?” sitcom - Muti...

With the announcement that coach Steve Price's resilient stay with Wire is set to finish come the close of the 2021 Super League season, it's time for a Prexit debate. Joining the three usual podcasting clowns are headband wearing Dave Birch from Warrington Hospital Radio, the gorgeous Matt Turner from Warrington Guardian and some geezer called Mike Brown "innit!" . Enjoy. 

It comes with great pleasure to welcome Tony Barrow to the podcast. Tony coached the brilliant Wire side that won the Premiership in 1986 - when it really was "Our Year".  Merry Christmas everyone. Enjoy. 

Due to Price running out of resilience it’s the last podcast of 2020. As the listeners run out of patience with Wire’s coach, we receive record amounts of listener feedback. The WhatBevan panel, known as the Classification Universal Numerical Tarif Society, rate the players. And is Cliff Richard set to be Warrington’s new boss? Sam’s shitistics “Countdown” the facts, as Rob admits his fantasy over...

As the regular season comes to an end the podcasters let their hair down with a drink or twenty. And in their intoxicated state, set about reviewing Wire’s games, culminating in record number of expletives, and tarnished by Dennis' alcoholic aggressiveness fuelled by the castration of his tackle bags. Shitistics features a Chris Whitty Covid-19 impression. Daniel turns the lights out on Price as S...

Wire manage to win two games in the space of 80 minutes, but the listeners’ horseshit still spikes by 11.3%. With another lockdown approaching, Dennis heads for the bunker - with his video referees in shock. Sam’s expletives hit an all time WhatsApp high, before he swings his shitistics left and right. Rob, still mourning from the loss of his 17-year-old cat, goes completely conkers. And a full mo...

Has coach Price 'definitely maybe' come up with the oxymoron quote of the season? What type of cheese, metaphorically, is Toby King? When does a fixture go from being postponed to cancelled? Just how do Wire score their tries? And where was the opposing fullback when Brian Bevan played his first game? Will Ralph and Stevie enter Strictly and be crowned glitterball champions? And did Sam say the wo...

To try and make sense of another Wire loss, the podcast turns to a man that watched Brian Bevan play his first ever game for Warrington. Rob critiques the lentils on the 1876 Halliwell Jones restaurant menu. After being trolled on social media, Daniel sets the record straight. Currie‘s curry of the week is back. Dennis offers up a Rugby pool taskforce team. And by popular demand, Rimmer’s Lot retu...

It’s a time for reflection as the show gets to grips with the past seven days of Wire action, but will the podcast lapse into a US-style Presidential debate?  Sam digs up historical facts on Wigan’s grand tour of the Vatican to unearth which Pope told them first to “fuck off” with translations in Italian and Latin. Rob’s had a nasty fall, but even with a cracked rib, he still believes he has a bet...

The Big Opening Burrell's Visit A Big Turd The Canadian Call What Would Mother Do? Tony's Cardboard Cutouts Hetherington A Bull In A China Shop The Pizzeria Health Inspector Cummings A Cake Of Percentages Who Shot RR?

This week the podcast "gets its shit together" following the Sky Sports Mamomite interview. Wire make it 9 wins on the trot, with Sam trotting out the shitistics on props Hill, Cooper and Philbin - but will it take their own anagrams to split the difference? An outbreak of caveatitus sees Daniel being infected, leading to Dennis’ idea of a Halliwell Jones bubble suit with attached drinking pipe. R...

After another brilliant Wire victory is there room in the team for all their stars? The podcast speaks with both Widdop’s and Inglis’s Australian agents - but can we read between their lines? Dennis takes the game by the balls with his NAD revolutionary technology, and a header leads to a headstrong podcasters debate. Sam has a theory on crowd-less goal kicking conversions, but just what are the t...

With the RFL changing the Super League table to points percentage, the podcasters have their abacuses ready. Wire score a brilliant winning try in the 97.5% moment of the match but Dennis calculates what percentage of tries are lost due to rugby posts. Sam takes us through his mathematical top-four-clusterfuck-ratio, with Rob offering to provide supportive graphs because he’s got sod all else to d...