What to Say & How to Say It

Welcome to What to Say & How to Say It—the podcast that helps Christian married couples fix communication and build deeper connection. In this episode, Shy Lewis and Nina Roesner unpack attachment theory, focusing on the anxious attachment style and how to set healthy boundaries in marriage.   Learn how childhood wounds impact adult relationships, what to expect when dealing with anxious partners,...

Is complaining just venting—or is it silently reshaping your brain and relationships? 🤯   Join Nina Roesner and counselor Kyle Hargrove as they unpack the science behind chronic complaint, explore neuroplasticity, and show how shifting your words can shift your life. 💭✨      #WhatToSay #BrainHealth #StopComplaining #Neuroplasticity #MindsetMatters #GreaterImpact

Welcome to this episode of What to Say & How to Say It with Nina Roesner and Licensed Professional Counselor Kyle Hargrove! 🎙️ Today, we're diving into a powerful (and maybe convicting!) conversation: Are you creating drama in your marriage? We're breaking down the Drama Triangle — the Victim , the Villain , and the Hero — three roles you DO NOT want to play if you're serious about building a heal...

Welcome to today's episode of What to Say and How to Say It , the podcast designed to help you fix your marriage! Join Shai Lewis and Nina Rosner as they dive into the topic of the Martyr Complex —an unhealthy mindset that can trap us in conflict and distance within our relationships. In this episode, we discuss the signs of a martyr or savior complex, how they show up in our marriages, and how to...

Are you feeling stuck in your marriage? In this episode of What to Say & How to Say It, Shy Lewis and Nina Roesner dive deep into the victim mindset and the lies that keep us trapped. We explore biblical truths that help rewire your thinking, build stronger connections, and navigate conflict in a godly way.   2 Corinthians 10:5 – "Take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ." Topics...

Welcome to today's episode of What to Say & How to Say It ! Are you the villain or the victim in your marriage? Or is your spouse? Licensed professional counselor Kyle Hargrove and host Nina Roesner dive deep into how these roles play out in relationships—and how your perception shapes everything. We'll uncover: ✅ The exhausting cycle of victimhood ✅ How villains are created (and why it's not al...

Welcome to What to Say & How to Say It , the podcast that helps you navigate conflict and build a thriving marriage. In this episode, Shy Lewis and Nina Roesner continue their series on narcissism—this time exploring healing. If you've been in a relationship with a narcissistic person, you know how challenging it can be to regain your sense of self. Today, we'll discuss: ✅ The impact of prolonged...

In this episode of What to Say & How to Say It, Nina Roesner and licensed professional counselor Kyle Hargrove dive into three key ways narcissists deflect — and how these behaviors may show up in your relationships. Whether you've experienced deflection or have been guilty of it yourself, this conversation offers practical insights to help you improve communication, take ownership, and build stro...

We're tackling the tough and often confusing topic of narcissism — what it really is, what the experts say, and how to handle these challenging behaviors when they show up in your marriage. Are you married to a narcissist — or just dealing with narcissistic behaviors? Either way, you'll come away with practical, faith-based strategies to help you show up differently, set boundaries, and protect yo...

Welcome to another episode of What to Say and How to Say It! Today, we're diving into a topic that's becoming more common in conversations: Are you a narcissist? You may have been called one or wondered if you are—but what does narcissism really mean? Licensed professional counselor Kyle Harrove joins us to break it down. We'll explore the difference between everyday selfishness and true narcissis...

We often break promises, overcommit, or underestimate the work involved in our commitments—leading to frustration and a loss of trust in relationships. In this episode, we explore how inconsistency affects respect and connection, why follow-through matters, and practical ways to avoid this common pitfall. Download our FREE PDF, 5 Tools for How to Stop Walking on Eggshells , and take our marriage a...

Joining us in today's podcast is Madison Agustini, the leader of the Respectful Wives Club on Facebook, to discuss the book The Respect Dare—a 40-day challenge that transforms relationships by fostering deeper respect and understanding. In this episode, you'll discover: How The Respect Dare can strengthen your marriage The power of daily challenges in changing relationship dynamics Why respect is...

Feeling unappreciated in your marriage? You're not alone. In this episode of What to Say & How to Say It , hosts Shy Lewis and Nina Roesner dive into the silent killer of relationships—lack of appreciation. Learn why couples drift apart without realizing it and how small, intentional actions can break the cycle. 📥 Grab your FREE resources: 📌 5 Tools to Stop Walking on Eggshells 📌 Marriage Asses...

In this episode of What to Say and How to Say It, Nina Roesner and Kyle Hargrove explore how shared values shape respect and harmony in marriage. They discuss practical ways to identify, discuss, and align core values with your partner—whether it's about parenting, finances, faith, or conflict resolution. Tune in for real-life stories, expert advice, and actionable insights to strengthen your rela...

In today's episode of What to Say and How to Say It , it's all about the lack of respect that often shows up in relationships, how it leads to communication breakdowns, and what you can do about it. Whether you're dealing with stonewalling or just a communication gap, this podcast provides actionable insights to help Christian married couples rebuild trust and connection. We discuss how to make th...

Welcome to today's episode of What to Say & How to Say It – the podcast that helps you fix your marriage! Join hosts Shy Lewis and Nina Roesner as they tackle the thought-provoking topic: "Is self-love or self-respect selfish?" In this episode, we explore the fine line between self-love and selfishness from a Christian perspective. How do self-care and dying to oneself, as taught in the Bible, coe...

In this episode of What to Say and How to Say It , we're diving into the buzzword authenticity —what does it actually mean, and how can it transform your relationships? Join Nina and Kyle as they unpack the true essence of being authentic in relationships, explore the challenges of intimacy, and share practical tips for growth. Discover how self-reflection, vulnerability, and faith play key roles...

In this episode of "What to Say and How to Say It," Shy Lewis and Nina Roesner dive into practical, faith-based strategies for navigating conflict and building connection in marriage. Learn how to become winsome in your communication, even in tough situations, and discover how these principles can transform not only your marriage but also your relationships with children, coworkers, and others.  ...

Welcome to today's episode of What to Say & How to Say It ! 🎙️ I'm joined by my favorite licensed professional counselor, Kyle Hargrove , as we dive into a topic that challenges marriages everywhere: "Truth and Transparency" —and how these impact your relationship. We're exploring the tricky dynamics of honesty: When is telling the truth healing, and when can it cause harm? How do we navigate tran...

Welcome to What to Say & How to Say It , the podcast designed to help you transform your Christian marriage! Today, we're tackling a tough but crucial topic: 4 things you need to know when trust is broken in your relationship . Why is this even a topic for Christian marriages? Because, like everyone else, we face struggles—but with God's help, we can heal and rebuild. Join our host and licensed pr...

Welcome to What to Say & How to Say It ! In this episode, Shy Lewis and Nina Roeser dive into how feminine energy can be a powerful tool in leadership—whether you're leading at home, work, or in ministry. With biblical insights and practical examples, we'll explore how embracing Christ-centered feminine leadership can help you navigate conflict, build stronger connections, and lead with grace and...

Welcome to What to Say and How to Stay , the podcast dedicated to helping Christian married men and women navigate conflict and build connection for a thriving marriage. 🎙️ In today's episode, Shy Lewis and Nina Roesner tackle the topic of mental load . From the unspoken expectations in modern marriages to understanding the biological and emotional differences between men and women, we explore how...

In this episode, we're diving into 3 powerful ways to make vulnerability your superpower in challenging conversations. 💬✨ Discover how: Vulnerability fosters trust and deeper connections. Naming your feelings disarms fear and empowers clarity. Embracing God's truth transforms your heart and relationships. Plus, learn why vulnerability is not a weakness but a confidence-builder in disguise! 🛑 Do...

In this episode of What to Say and How to Say It , Nina Roesner and Kyle Hargrove dive into a challenging but essential topic: dealing with entitlement. We're exploring what entitlement looks like in adult relationships, how it affects connections, and how to navigate these interactions effectively. Are you in a relationship with someone who acts like the world owes them? Or maybe you're finding e...

In this episode of What to Say & How to Say It , hosts Shy Lewis and Nina Roesner delve into the fascinating topic of adult development and how it impacts your relationships, especially marriage. Just back from an inspiring Strength and Dignity Conference, they're sharing insights from Dr. Robert Keegan's Constructive Development Theory (CDT) to help you better understand yourself, your spouse, an...