What the HELL Were You Thinking?

I don’t believe Bernie Sanders has it IN him to do what Obama has done, I’ve never seen a hint of it. I respect and admire the man, I LOVE his politics, I would love to live in a world where he COULD be President. I don’t, I live in this one, and this one is utter shit. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Naturally, fashion and New York City go together like bulimia and runway models, so shopping here is going to be a bit different than running down the Mall in Waddletown or whatever backwater bourgeoise berg you call home...sorry, got a little to Dennis Miller there. This the home of the fashion in the United States, if someone wore it on a red carpet it probably was designed by a flamboyantly gay...

0.1% of the people in America have basically as much money as 90% of the rest of America--now that is kind of hard to grasp as a real number so let me put it another way. You and the family decide you are going to have some delicious Kentucky Fried Chicken for dinner tonight and you send your cousin Big Teddy out to pick up a ten piece bucket and sides. And Big Teddy gets the dinner and fucking ea...

Welcome to Storytime, factual fictions and fictional facts about growing up in the South in the 1970’s, from the creator of the What the HELL Were You Thinking Podcast. Storytime features recollection, remembrance and artificial realities drawn from the memory of an expatriate Southerner trying to find just one thing he can talk about and not make his Momma disappointed in him...and probably faili...

People, many of the same people that believe that every black man in the world is at least potentially a serial rapist, can’t believe Bill Cosby could EVER do something like this. These women are all gold diggers, going after Bill’s money, they say. All their stories match up too closely to not be rehearsed! They took him money, you know they were blackmailing him! This is the standard Cosby Defen...

Look I don’t know any other way to say this, but it isn’t the total number of people being murdered, it’s how they are being murdered and with what. I mean people go to see and an Amy Schumer movies should NOT be worried about some whack job walking in and shooting up the goddamn theater! People shouldn’t be gunned down in a prayer meeting because some simple fucking redneck didn’t like black peop...

nd there is the flaw in modern media structures, if everything and everyone are fair game for the news then where is the difference between “news” and talking shit about someone? If there were a real traffic cop over at Gawker, you know a senior person with years of experience as journalist, an understanding of ethics and the wisdom to look at a turd and call it a turd rather than a controversial...

But jury duty, that is the worst of the worst, or so I’ve been told. I mean I’ve seen the poor bastards trapped in their box, drool forming in the corners of their mouth, eyes glazed and expression blank as they try to keep awake through hours of lawyers arguing infinitesimally small details in arcane languages none of which are relevant to reality---it’s lot like listening to anyone talk about ar...

Ham Hair has maintained that look of smug, self satisfied egomania that only someone running for political office who has no intention of winning can do while saying the most horrible things CAN possess. What he said about Mexican Immigrants, though he would predicate that he meant ILLEGAL immigrants, is what a some of the rabid, redneck racists that comprise the GOP, though, some of you I assume...

This weeks show looks at why people are still clinging to the Confederate Flag and laments the loss of that Southern Cultural Icon, the Dukes of Hazzard. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello and welcome to the podcast that asks a simple question: When you said you would set yourself on fire if gay marriage became legal, and didn’t what the HELL were you thinking? This is the Saturday June 27th 2015 “You Mad Bro?” edition of the picking apart the highly entertaining reactions to the Supreme Court’s landmark ruling on gay marriage. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastch...

Meanwhile back on Planet Earth, the only thing that has changed is people who were once deprived of their rights are no longer. Today is a day when freedom grew, and that is day everyone should celebrate. I assure you, in the REAL world, your hetero marriage is just as good and strong or bad and weak as it was 24 hours ago. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Is there EVER a situation so bad, so fucked up, that a comment from some jack off in the NRA can’t make it infinitely worse? It doesn’t matter how high the body count, how horrible the crime, how young the victims, someone will say something so hideous that in a decently run universe we would brick their yap holes shut and shove them off the deck of a fishing boat in the Marianas Trench. Free spee...

What do Chris Rock, Jerry Seinfeld and Larry the Cable Guy have in common? Besides being considered long past their sell by date fame wise? They are on a short but notable list of of comedians who eschew performing on college campuses, and not for the reasons you think: namely being too old to have a shot at sleeping with the women at the shows, or even the “Wait, bro, who are these old dudes” eff...

Meanwhile the physics labs, the astronomy departments, the tech departments are filled with dude who looked as though they were rejected from a casting call for the Big Bang Theory for being a bit TOO realistic. God, the number of neck beards and fedoras...the horror, the horror. (Don’t even get me started on that show and it’s portrayal of women in science.) They are the few remaining places men...

With just 17 months left to go before election day 2016 the Grand Old Party could not be more awash in choices if they were an unsinkable ship who just clipped and iceberg! By the count of the I am certainly highly reputable and thoroughly fact checked 2016 republican candidates dot org, there are no fewer than 31 (as of this recording) Republicans either declared, exploring or flirting like a hor...

I fire up on is the parents and the people who covered this up, the network that promoted this travesty and the politicians who continue to cling to this reprehensible family as though they are the paragons of Christian virtue in a godless world. You know Mike Huckabee just because incest was in the Bible doesn’t make it godly. Let’s unpack this express shipment of shit and see if we can find a po...

ou can’t look in the window of a nail salon and not see it. And I have. There is something deeply jarring about seeing Asian women basically kneeling over white women working on their feet that SHOULD strike you as wrong, maybe it is because I’ve BEEN to Asia and seen the inequality built around the culture (admittedly this was a long time ago) but I’ve always had the nagging feeling this was off....

We slackers of the Meh Generation watched Letterman’s departure with sort of grim ennui we see in our lives. Just like our lives, we know Dave got the short of the stick. Saying goodbye to Dave is also like saying goodbye to that last little dab of hope left over from our youth that maybe Dad might buy us that car when we head off to college only to hear he needs the money to pay for braces for Mi...

This is the Saturday May 16th 2015 edition of the show and we are talking Seymour Hersh’s (onion belt drop) story in the London Review of Books or, as we call it “Time to put grandpa in the home edition”. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This weeks episode talks about Jade Helm 2015, so you probably shouldn't listen if you are from Texas, served in the National Guard, or the Texas State Guard, wear a cowboy hat, like high school football, or you are Chuck Norris... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

thing going for us when it comes to talking about race in the America and that word is naive. Some people actually believe we live in a post racial America. What is a post racial America? Did we all wake up the same shade of blue this morning, are we all Smurfs? And trust me, even if we DID, someone is still going to be a racist because Joze Smurf doesn’t Smurf with the smurfiness as Leopold Smurf...

This is the Friday, April 24th 2015 edition of the show, and we will be talking the Outside of Amy Schumer and why some idiots think it is related to her comedy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this local edition of the podcast, we examine how NYC relates to the subway and why it is like an uncle who molests us. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"What the Hell Were You Thinking?" for Friday April 17th 2015 asks are we sure if we want an unopposed candidate, is 2.5 billion dollars really enough for an election and can we have Uncle Joe be her Veep for 8 more years of great Onion stories. Into music by Hypnostate, you can find their work on Jamendo,com, drops from Dennis Quaid's angry rants, The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and of course The O...