WFYM Talk Radio

If you accidentally get the Paris Hilton cologne all over down there do NOT try to clean it off with Old Spice and then try to wash it all off in the shower at a house party. Just go down to where the Golden Retrievers are sleeping and get your coat and your shoes off the porch and go home   https://www.patreon.com/posts/149947440

The only thing worse than getting to a proto-Vrbo and realizing you have no way to Netflix and chill is getting stuck in the yellow jacket tunnel at Payless Shoe Source with a bag full of rotting apples and the extra large condom you brought isn't big enough to catch them all #BarLife #AnkleMonitorLife   https://www.patreon.com/posts/149615999/

Never snipe or use the Italian wizard spells like Boom Boom Pow or Bang Ding Ow. Katt Williams fought a 17 year old pool supply store owner because they designed him a 3 ft deep pool shaped like a vibrator with balls on it

We finally got around to covering the untimely death of Adam the Woo who has left a hole in all our hearts and his wife Brianna a widow. The waves at the Outer Banks are insufficient for surfing. If you take your parents' sibling stoppers and turn them in at a Catholic condom buyback you can make enough to buy an airsoft gun with the orange tip colored over and go out like Adam the Woo   https://w...

Babe come over BurntPeanut and Steve Lookner both went live at the same time and we can watch them on my two TVs and you better not break up with me or AI Kratos and AI Yoda and AI Batman are going to give me motivational speeches about it

Teaching children to talk and read is basically like podcasting and it also involves a lot of AI and YouTube and Roblox. In the 1990s two out of your five friends were named Lingo and Wheels and you were probably Kid Vid. Batman canonically has really sore elbows from smacking them together for exercise. Guard dogs suck because they give you away   🎼Kraftwerk - Computer Love https://www.patreon.c...

The VeggieTales lore contains just enough information about the in-universe sexual and racial politics to leave you wanting more like a tomato in heat with a big blossom end rot waiting for Sully to give you a mouthful like Mike Wazowski. Being the Andy Dick Show Boy ruined my life. "Bonnie" "Prince" "Billy" is pretty good for a guy with a girl's first name.

The Format went on Big Desk and the results were unbelievable and people are even calling the new singer the White Black Eminem. Getting the unalive at KFC is both easier and harder than ever but the mix always ends up brown. And yes, we have bologna sandwiches for Sunday dinner   https://www.patreon.com/posts/146319048

Leather hackysacks are for Republicans and all GameStop managers poop their pants at the counter because using toilet paper at work is technically theft. Sum Ting Wong is one of the worst pilots to ever work for Ticketmaster. The whole class took some bad molly and the classroom smells like the third pig

Keep an eye out for the 350 bit and the Drippy Louis Bluey Back Bling season of Fortnite. 7/7/7 was the luckiest day ever but no one invented scratch tickets or getting a UTI from the Reverse Shocker yet so it was basically useless for all intents and purposes. Then 7/7/77 happened and we were all too young for that one so what gives   https://www.patreon.com/posts/145477935

We are working on a Dave Matthews biopic called Crash about the time they crashed their tour bus and the spaghetti they were eating hit the ceiling and ruined the upholstery and also it knocked the cap off the sewage tank and it spilled on a boat and when they tried to have it fixed the mechanic just used it to do Uber and then unalived in the driver's seat. The sequel will be called Crash 2: Elec...

Sorry for the thin gruel this month   Season 4 of Doug was weird because they did the Martin Lawrence arc and half of it was about Didi getting bred and his name was Caillou but they made him look like Eddie Murphy in a fat suit. Jay-Z clearly never saw Squid Game or Get Out in 2010 or he would have mentioned Young Hee

Make sure your hollowed out turkeys are hung by the fireplace so you can get presents from William Bradford or Massasoit or whoever does that holiday. Planters Academy will be opening soon for those of us who want to continue the tradition of our beautiful offspring being able to enjoy Nutter Butters and Reese's Pieces at school and yes we know how it sounds and yes not everyone will be let in but...

Basically it would be a found footage gonzo horror movie where a guy overdoses in an abandoned Burger King for a YouTube video and then Solsbury Hill starts playing and he comes back to life and nuts hands free. Jack Black would do a great job in the Chris Benoit biopic and the doctor said I can make dirty rice clean. "A clean behind is a terrible thing to waste."

What comes after 345? China loans us pandas and we give them celebrities as collateral. They found Amara and it was the friends we made along the way. The ants had a crumb crush on the way to Matthew Perry in the hot tub and then the crumbs attracted moon bears which are level 2 or 3 bears and then He Touched Me and it felt incredible.   https://www.patreon.com/posts/143379708

Everything will be back once and for all once Stephen Miller is seen driving a low rider and next Halloween will be incredible. The electric shock game they make for kids becomes a completely anhedonic experience once you have tasted the unbeatable thrill of motocross. Rule34dle is too hard if you are not one of the people who dates cartoons   🎼Live - I Alone https://www.instagram.com/wfymradio/...

Our sons Shootar and Stabbar that we got from the sperm bank tricked us into eating a candy called Wiener Zucker and saying it was good so we brought them back. Barstool Milking Factory on a Kindle Fire is the new Uncle John's Bathroom Reader. Dr Witnesser is right about Christmas but wrong about Saturday. We need to find Amara and find out what it is as well 🎼Big Sean - A$$ ft Nicki Minaj   http...

Everyone from a GIF will be live in person at a convention center once we figure out how to rent it. Gore-themed birthday parties go crazy but the ARG is too hard. Dark triad style individuals such as Andrew Milonakis are leaving out poisoned cat poop for the neighborhood dogs to ensure that they never become the Jodie Foster in someone's Taxi Driver fantasy. Arby's meat nuggets are pretty good bu...

On this one we teach you about ambassadors and how to gaslight a cop and convince him he has BPD so you can evade a ticket for selling loose handfuls of Reese's Pieces in an alleyway. My aunt is Egyptian and she has a cat for a head and she makes me chop cheese the aunkhy way. At the McDonald's in Times Square they have passenger pigeon nuggets to save money because you can buy passenger pigeons o...

Where did you go Joe DiMaio? And Katt Stevens, whatever happened to him after he gave up secular music and started performing on BET ComicView? Peanut oil vapes come in handy when you need to ensure your child never develops a peanut allergy that excludes them from dinner at a Norwegian style household. Dog oil works on the same principle. Travis Kelce is going to be in the new Hennessy ad campaig...

Everywhere you look all you see is Labubus and Dubai chocolate and when you try to get an education at a reputable Boston school the janitor just writes some nonsense about how you dubaidubai the legs and multiply the fun on the board. Go to Mar-a-Lago and tell them you want the whackmodololo longdubaidubai magicjohnson minthoneyhoney badbunny labubu or the Big Game Halftime Show is cancelled   ht...

Baseball stadiums frown upon using the nicest pumpkin you ever felt to catch a baseball even if you have a Trump Card and Pete Hegseth is busy doing Edward Fortyhands on his lunch break. There is a restaurant where they serve poop but the guy never lets you have it. Chihuahuas are small but Great Danes are big. Durango is Spanish for The Range

Season 4 of Doug was weird because they did the Martin Lawrence arc and half of it was about Didi getting bred and his name was Caillou but they made him look like Eddie Murphy in a fat suit. Jay-Z clearly never saw Squid Game or Get Out in 2010 or he would have mentioned Young Hee   https://www.patreon.com/posts/139589436

Sir you cannot pass the HOA vibe check until you find the Ziggy Marley station on SiriusXM and to be perfectly honest you should have it in your first bank of presets. Check out ThinkGeek for geeky gifts for the geek in your life like an air freshener shaped like a foot that smells like feet or an air freshener shaped like a poop that smells like poop. Next year 9/11 is going to fall on the 13th

The sauce is robust and Celebrity Rehab is a bust. Howard Stern tried to fake us out with Andy Cohen but no one fell for it. The man with a calcified onion penis is in a White Zoo being used as a garden implement. Diddy had unforgivable hustle but he unforgivably misused his powerly and check out Fat March on TV   https://www.patreon.com/posts/138831526