We're All Pretending

I've been reflecting a lot this week and have concluded on five truths about life from this year. Intro music from https://pixabay.com/music/beats-sexy-fashion-beats-simulate-11176/

I've been feeling a sense of discomfort over how society values people - why do we value people based on wealth and status over character and goodness? Why do celebrities matter so much? My aim in life is to be so unfazed by money and status, because truly, those things don't matter. Also I'm totally ready for the December holidays! Intro music from https://pixabay.com/music/beats-sexy-fashion-bea...

I've talked about the loneliness and shame of not being in the same stage as everyone else, and I think I'm finally accepting that and looking more at the positives in my life rather than what I'm lacking. Also, we attract, we do not chase. Intro music from https://pixabay.com/music/beats-sexy-fashion-beats-simulate-11176/

I'm excited for October. October means I turn a year older, its the beginning of hibernation and rest (which I sorely need!) and its Libra season (the best season, in my humble, non-biased opinion). I started off this month with a half marathon and I've got some handy tips if you've ever wondered how running a half marathon is like. Intro music from https://pixabay.com/music/beats-sexy-fashion-bea...

Quick update on my experience in Germany (The Weeknd concert!) and Austria and how difficult it is to get to know people online. Is it just me or is it hard to sustain a conversation via text? How do people do online dating? If you have tips, let me know! Also, online shopping and silk pyjamas have made me so happy recently. Intro music from https://pixabay.com/music/beats-sexy-fashion-beats-simul...

I don't think I'm a girls girl; I find myself jealous, insecure and wanting to compete with other women for attention. I also hate inauthenticity and discuss my thoughts on Barbie and Oppenhemier. Also, are sex scenes really necessary in the media? Intro music from https://pixabay.com/music/beats-sexy-fashion-beats-simulate-11176/

This week was refreshing....because I felt nothing. Nothing feels good, calming and peaceful. It means that I don't have to manage emotions. I also ramble about the ego, arrogance and saviour complex of one white man in particular, how I struggle to identify my strenghts without comparing it to others and more. Intro music from https://pixabay.com/music/beats-sexy-fashion-beats-simulate-11176/

Listen to me ramble about some of the reasons stopping me from working on my goals - are you affected by this too? Also, peanut butter and egg is a weird food combo, but trust me, it works. Intro music from https://pixabay.com/music/beats-sexy-fashion-beats-simulate-11176/

Womens emotions are literally controlled by hormones - period week is when I'm the lowest and most vulnerable. Listen to me ramble about how single and behind in life I feel. Intro music from https://pixabay.com/music/beats-sexy-fashion-beats-simulate-11176/

I've been away for the past month, visiting friends, family and exploring new places. I had a total mindset shift on my trip about the lack of permanance and ownership we have in this life, and had to overcome my fear of being the 'new kid.' Listen on. Intro music from https://pixabay.com/music/beats-sexy-fashion-beats-simulate-11176/

Ever wondered what its like to be highly sensitive, hyper vigilant and always feeling all the damn time? Welcome to Episode 23, where ya gurl is tired of life. I also briefly talk about the joys of adulting (taxes/budgeting!) and experimenting easier ways to travel. Intro music from https://pixabay.com/music/beats-sexy-fashion-beats-simulate-11176/

No one talks about friendship grief where the nature of your friendships changes. Too bad there's no manual to it, because I've been grieving. This week is also the start of Ramadan and as excited as I am, there's also a sense of loneliness to it. I'm looking to practice more patience this month and also challenge my ego. Intro music from https://pixabay.com/music/beats-sexy-fashion-beats-simulate...

Today's episode explores the shame I attach to not being perfect, making mistakes and being human. I also talk about my recent cold, feeling anti-social and what bilirubin is. Intro music from https://pixabay.com/music/beats-sexy-fashion-beats-simulate-11176/

I spent the last two weeks drained (thank you anixety!) and had to bring myself out of a triggered moment. I also learnt how to play pool recently and am excited for my upcoming One Republic concert! Intro music from https://pixabay.com/music/beats-sexy-fashion-beats-simulate-11176/

Privilege can be a complicated topic to discuss. On one hand, you want to enjoy and feel worthy of what you have, and on the other, you feel guilty for having it. I'm acknowledging the privilege that I have as I think about everyone affected by the earthquakes in Syria and Turkey. The privilege guilt is real and I'm patiently trying to move away from feeling/being stuck in guilt to taking action b...

This week's episode is a little all over the place - I feel like something is 'missing' in my life (hands up if you feel the same!), I'm also enjoying my growing interest in horror films and of course, Arabic. Intro music from https://pixabay.com/music/beats-sexy-fashion-beats-simulate-11176/

The past two weeks have been...good! I feel driven, motivated, inspired. I reflect on some positive growth moments and mention my plans to be fluent in Arabic by the time I hit 30 to keep myself accountable. Intro music from https://pixabay.com/music/beats-sexy-fashion-beats-simulate-11176/

We love a good wrap up. Today's episode is a lil' different - I go through some reflection questions on how my 2022 went and my possibly (un)realistic expectations for 2023. As mentioned, if you missed out on my Kilimanjaro episode, you may catch it here - https://www.spreaker.com/episode/51066526 Intro music from https://pixabay.com/music/beats-sexy-fashion-beats-simulate-11176/

The World Cup made a huge impact on me, but before I go further, I'd like to clarify a few things in case it wasn't clear enough in this episode: I do not condone any form of human rights violations or corruption, I was merely pissed off at the Western countries and media criticising Qatar and my intention is to highlight their hypocrisy and double standards when reporting on Muslim/Arab countries...

Lots of feelings have been felt this week - from clarity over my loneliness to excitement over something teenage Naqiya only ever dreamt about. I felt happy and excited this week but also guilt - why is it so hard to let the joy in? Intro music from https://pixabay.com/music/beats-sexy-fashion-beats-simulate-11176/

Major theme of this episode: I can't control people nor how life unravels itself. Emotions associated with this lack of control: loneliness, grief, pain, anxiety, abandonment. Fun. Intro music from https://pixabay.com/music/beats-sexy-fashion-beats-simulate-11176/

As per usual, this episode is a little heavy. Just a little. I talk about my money worries, sexual harassment trauma and my anxious attachment style in friendships. Intro music from https://pixabay.com/music/beats-sexy-fashion-beats-simulate-11176/

Friendships are complicated, feeling safe in relationships and growing older. Intro music from https://pixabay.com/music/beats-sexy-fashion-beats-simulate-11176/

I resigned from my job, turned 26 and grieved my death. Great week. Intro music from https://pixabay.com/music/beats-sexy-fashion-beats-simulate-11176/

Lots of 'mercury in retrograde' moments happened over the course of the week, but there's always time to deep think societal issues such as how we let ourselves be affected by fear of reputational backlash, and hating on capitalism. Intro music from https://pixabay.com/music/beats-sexy-fashion-beats-simulate-11176/