Welcome to Horror

The team climb aboard Sminkle’s Bang Bus for hard-hitting, pulls-no-punches documentary “Dude Bro Party Massacre III”. A poignant study of Toxic Masculinity; including the dangers of hazing rituals within the college system, the tearing of shirts to express emotion and the terror of tiny hairy dog dicks. Along the way we discuss Shudder series “Cursed Films”, The London Horror Society’s Short film...

We return to the laboratory for Mel Brooks and Gene Wilder’s inspired mockery of the Universal horrors in “Young Frankenstein”. A film in which everything is huge; from the performances, to the knockers and on to the schwanzstucker; an off camera Mel Brooks portrays both a werewolf and a cat; and we can only speculate on what Frau Blücher has been doing to the horses. Along the way we discuss “Hou...

We’re joined by returning guest Westley to watch Brian De Palma’s glam rock extravaganza “Phantom of the Paradise”. A film in which a scholar of Faust manages to miss a number of red flags - including signing a contract in blood; revenge is best served in a bondage suit and crow-shaped crash helmet; and we discover a novel new use for a plunger. Along the way we discuss “Horror Noire: A History of...

It’s creepy uncle time, as we dive into Chan-wook Park’s insidious “Stoker”. A film in which we learn that incest is fine, as long as you wait until they’re past the age of consent; some mobile phone networks still provide a signal 6 feet underground; and erotic piano recitals can lead to spiders in the pants. Along the way we discuss “Hour of the Wolf” and “Audition”. Watch (or re-watch) to avoid...

The team sink their teeth into another slice of lycanthropy, this time with a dash of Blaxploitation and a garnish of Agatha Christie. Yes folks, it’s Amicus Films’ horror swansong “The Beast Must Die”. A film in which a millionaire dresses up in more leather and PVC than a biker’s convention at the Torture Garden, we observe the traditional dinner party game of “pass the candlestick” and Dumbledo...

It’s time for the team to open the box and experience Clive Barker’s classic “Hellraiser”, a film which features a heavier dub than a Lee Scratch Perry B-Side; more pulsating meat than a Magic Mike show; and more degrading perversity than a Tory MP’s weekend. Along the way we discuss “Cats”, “Bliss”, “Odd Thomas”, “Nothing Really Happens” and “Dreamland”. Watch (or re-watch) to avoid spoilers, and...

It’s time for the team to experience some J-Horror and we sit down to probably the most (in)famous: Hideo Nakata’s adaption of Kôji Suzuki’s “Ring”. A film in which moody videos in hotel rooms get you killed rather than arrested, we discover the importance of a good manicure when trapped in a well and Brine-based frolics result in all kinds of goblinry. Along the way we discuss “One Cut of the Dea...

Having been locked down for so long, the team just want to see the Sun, beautiful landscapes and gather together as a community; so to put them off all that, they watched Ari Aster’s “Midsommar”. A film in which we learn how to make a menstrual smoothie to wash down that traditional Swedish Hair Pie, the term “bear with me” takes on a grisly new meaning and we have a salutary lesson to never forge...

More classic monsters for the team this week, as we turn our attention to 2002’s British Army Vs Werewolves flick “Dog Soldiers”. A film in which Ser Davos Seaworth regrows his fingers and drops the Geordie accent for a much posher and sinister one; Worzel Gummidge’s son plays tug of war with a dog using his own entrails; and Tommy from Trainspotting discovers you can catch far worse things off an...

It’s vampire time again on Welcome to Horror, and this time it’s Kathryn Bigelow’s vision of dusty drifter/murderers “Near Dark”. A film in which the guy who goes on to stub his cigar out on Arnie’s tit gets his first taste of misplaced barroom bravado, Bishop goes all method at the nail bar and the sun comes up really quickly. Like, really quickly. Along the way we discuss “I Am A Ghost”, “Come T...

It’s a Welcome To Horror Bonus Episode! Lee and Adam bring you another lockdown watch recommendation: HBO TV Movie “Cast A Deadly Spell”; a cross between film noir detective flick and Lovecraftian monster movie with a rich comedic vein and a cast to die for.

We’re joined once more by the legendary Pinball Bobby of the Not For Everyone Podcast to watch 2008 masterpiece “Pontypool”, a film in which Kill is Kiss, your friendly helicopter-riding weatherman is actually a nonce on a hill with a sound effects tape, and Sydney Briar is alive! Along the way we discuss “The Lure”, “Pieces” and the “Sleepaway Camp” films. Watch (or re-watch) to avoid spoilers, a...

It’s a Welcome To Horror Bonus Episode! As we all remain indoors for the foreseeable future; Lee and Lady Jennifer bring you a watch recommendation: Mini-series “Midwinter of the Spirit” - a mixture of detective and horror story - adapted from the novel by Phil Rickman by Ghostwatch creator Stephen Volk. This Welcome To Horror Bonus Episode is available now on the Apple Podcast App, Soundcloud (li...

The gang turn their attention to the directorial debut of makeup/fx master Stan Winston; the marvellous “Pumpkinhead”. A film in which an 80s Super-Douche kills the Milky Bar Kid, Bishop is buff AF, and just what is the world coming to when you can’t even trust an ancient, cackling swamp witch, living in a shack full of rats and spiders? Along the way we discuss “Tiger King”, “The Living Ghost” an...

The team sit down in front of childhood favourite “The Monster Squad”, a film in which Uncle Rico tears up a Cop Shop, Dracula finds time to pimp his ride and (obviously) we find out Wolfman’s got nards. Along the way we discuss “The Shivering Truth”, Coffin Joe, “And Frankenstein Created Bikers” and “The First Purge”. Watch (or re-watch) to avoid spoilers, and join us. APOLOGIES FOR ANY SOUND QUA...

It’s episode 69! And we don’t even laugh about it! We do, however, piss ourselves laughing at Taika Waititi & Jemaine Clement’s “What We Do In The Shadows” - possibly the best Vampire film (comedy or serious), and probably the best mockumentary ever made. Along the way we discuss “The Lighthouse” and “Color Out Of Space”

The gang’s all here! Lady Jennifer, Chris, Lee and Adam sit down for Adam’s birthday choice and listener suggestion, which is the feline-themed anthology “The Uncanny”. A film in which Donald Pleasence has incredible plumbing, someone replaces Joan Greenwood with a selection of beef cuts and a Canadian cousin is an absolute shit! Along the way we discuss “Borley Rectory”, “Bedknobs and Broomsticks...

Lee and Adam conclude their look at great horror comedy TV. On this episode they discuss the legacy of “The League of Gentlemen”, as Reece Shearsmith and Steve Pemberton bring us first “Psychoville” and then the anthology hit “Inside No.9”, and conclude with the sadly little known and pitch perfect spoof that is “Dr Terrible’s House of Horrible” starring Steve Coogan”. Seriously, if you love Briti...

Chris is still missing, and has possibly now been abducted by red-fingered aliens. This leaves Lee and Adam little to do except sit back and shoot the shit about great horror comedy TV. A chat that lasted so long, we’ve split it into two parts. On this episode they discuss the TV version of “What We Do In The Shadows”, cult masterpiece“Garth Marenghi's Darkplace” and the truly classic “The League...

Chris has escaped down the castle wall, leaving Lee and Adam no choice but to record you lucky people a Welcome To Horror Bonus Episode! We take a big spoiler-filled look at the BBC/Netflix “Dracula” miniseries, and Lee gives us his non-spoiler-filled review of “D-Railed” which he caught at this year’s Horror-On-Sea Festival.

Following on from our last episode, this time we’re watching “The Exorcist III”. A film in which an anecdotal trout haunts a hardened detective; heads roll in the Catholic church both figuratively and actually; and cantankerous bickering indicates a lasting friendship (or is that just the podcast?) Along the way we discuss Mark Gatiss’ Christmas Ghost Story “Martin’s Close”, the “Harry Potter” fil...

Welcome to 2020! And to celebrate, we have an extra special guest: Pin Ball Bobby from the magnificent “Not For Everyone Podcast”! And we’re kicking off the new decade with a classic: William Friedkin’s adaptation of William Peter Blatty’s “The Exorcist”. A film in which the director refrigerates a 12 year old girl, lets off guns willy nilly, causes life-changing injuries to his actors, ties a wom...

To quote Noddy Holder “IT’S CHRISTMAS!”, and so we’re watching a Christmas classic to celebrate: we’re back with Joe Dante for 1984’s “Gremlins”. A film in which a clearly already tense domestic situation means Mom escalates from stressed to merciless psychopath in a heartbeat, The Honorable Judge Reinhold goes missing (and no one cares), and 3 basic fucking rules apparently can’t be stuck to! Alo...

Having haunted the show since the very beginning - Chris finally gets to watch “Quatermass and The Pit”. A film in which the British working man is celebrated in all his insolent glory, the military are generating fake news, and the Martians aren’t coming; they’ve already come. Along the way we discuss “Shadows”, our brand spanking new YouTube channel and the feed back on our episode on Jordan Pee...

After weeks of Lee’s prodding, the team finally watch Jordan Peele’s “Us”, a film with more rabbit than Sainsbury’s, that has the guys as divided as the movie’s characters. Will Lee’s 12 points of contention be resolved? How does the film match up to Peele’s first film, the mighty “Get Out”? Tune in and find out! HEADS UP: This is episode is also available on our brand spanking new YouTube channel...