Welcome to Horror

Oh how the tables have turned! This week; Chris introduces Jennifer, Lee and Adam to a brand new horror- Rob Savage’s Pandemic inspired/necessitated “Host” (2020), streaming exclusively on Shudder. A film which uses Zoom more effectively than any work-related meeting you have had since Lockdown started. This film is brand new, absolutely of this time, and we really urge you to watch it. Not just f...

Claire returns this week, as we discuss Panos Cosmatos’ psychedelic prog revenge movie “Mandy”. A divisive film for the team, in which we learn that cheese is best served vomited from a green puppet; hand-to-hand combat is difficult when you have a knife for a cock; and we get to see Ken Barlow’s son’s willy. Along the way we discuss “Slumber Party Massacre”, “Punishment Park”, “Vast of Night”, “L...

We have returning guest as Claire selects her birthday choice - possibly Vincent Price’s finest film: “Theatre of Blood”. A film in which Paddington Bear is torn to pieces by an angry mob; Captain Mainwaring is beheaded; and we learn that it’s ‘Dickman by name; Dickman by nature’. Along the way we discuss documentary “Lost Souls”, “RoboCop”, episodes of “The X-Files” and “The Alfred Hitchcock Hour...

It’s Jennifer’s Birthday Request, and she has chosen the magnificent “Let The Right One In”. A film in which a nonce tries an extreme chemical-peel; we learn PE teachers are the same all over the world; and that Frankenstein created Kevin Eldon. Along the way we discuss “Witch’s Brew”, “Ju-On: Origins”, “Mr Vampire” and the book “Lovecraft Country”. Watch (or re-watch) to avoid spoilers, and join...

This episode we turn to a lesser known classic with 1962’s “Night Of The Eagle” (aka “Burn, Witch, Burn”). A film which in which Mr Peter Wyngarde discovers his wife’s keeping dead spiders in her knicker drawer; demonstrates that a good bitch-slap is more than a match for a pistol; and learns that a meat-jacket is not the best attire when participating in amateur falconry. Along the way we discuss...

Having covered the original “...Elm Street” last episode, we move onto, arguably, the best of the series with “A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors”. A film in which we learn that a scrapyard can be consecrated ground if you have a flask of holy water; sometimes ALL the black characters in a horror film can survive to the end; and Freddy, finally, says “Bitch”. Along the way we discuss the...

It’s a Welcome To Horror Bonus Episode! Adam and Claire discuss “A Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge”. Whilst we’re covering ANOES 1 and 3 as part of the main show, ever the completist, Adam had to watch “Freddy’s Revenge” too and, having seen Claire’s reaction to seeing it for the very first time, felt that it really needed to be covered

The team head back to the birth of a true modern horror icon - man of your dreams Freddy Krueger. Yes it’s the Wes Craven classic “A Nightmare On Elm Street”. A film in which we learn that it’s best to keep a murder weapon as a souvenir after a traditional neighbourhood nonce burning; being analysed by Roger Rabbit can turn your hair white; and that Johnny Depp had a lot of blood inside him in his...

The team climb aboard Sminkle’s Bang Bus for hard-hitting, pulls-no-punches documentary “Dude Bro Party Massacre III”. A poignant study of Toxic Masculinity; including the dangers of hazing rituals within the college system, the tearing of shirts to express emotion and the terror of tiny hairy dog dicks. Along the way we discuss Shudder series “Cursed Films”, The London Horror Society’s Short film...

We return to the laboratory for Mel Brooks and Gene Wilder’s inspired mockery of the Universal horrors in “Young Frankenstein”. A film in which everything is huge; from the performances, to the knockers and on to the schwanzstucker; an off camera Mel Brooks portrays both a werewolf and a cat; and we can only speculate on what Frau Blücher has been doing to the horses. Along the way we discuss “Hou...

We’re joined by returning guest Westley to watch Brian De Palma’s glam rock extravaganza “Phantom of the Paradise”. A film in which a scholar of Faust manages to miss a number of red flags - including signing a contract in blood; revenge is best served in a bondage suit and crow-shaped crash helmet; and we discover a novel new use for a plunger. Along the way we discuss “Horror Noire: A History of...

It’s creepy uncle time, as we dive into Chan-wook Park’s insidious “Stoker”. A film in which we learn that incest is fine, as long as you wait until they’re past the age of consent; some mobile phone networks still provide a signal 6 feet underground; and erotic piano recitals can lead to spiders in the pants. Along the way we discuss “Hour of the Wolf” and “Audition”. Watch (or re-watch) to avoid...

The team sink their teeth into another slice of lycanthropy, this time with a dash of Blaxploitation and a garnish of Agatha Christie. Yes folks, it’s Amicus Films’ horror swansong “The Beast Must Die”. A film in which a millionaire dresses up in more leather and PVC than a biker’s convention at the Torture Garden, we observe the traditional dinner party game of “pass the candlestick” and Dumbledo...

It’s time for the team to open the box and experience Clive Barker’s classic “Hellraiser”, a film which features a heavier dub than a Lee Scratch Perry B-Side; more pulsating meat than a Magic Mike show; and more degrading perversity than a Tory MP’s weekend. Along the way we discuss “Cats”, “Bliss”, “Odd Thomas”, “Nothing Really Happens” and “Dreamland”. Watch (or re-watch) to avoid spoilers, and...

It’s time for the team to experience some J-Horror and we sit down to probably the most (in)famous: Hideo Nakata’s adaption of Kôji Suzuki’s “Ring”. A film in which moody videos in hotel rooms get you killed rather than arrested, we discover the importance of a good manicure when trapped in a well and Brine-based frolics result in all kinds of goblinry. Along the way we discuss “One Cut of the Dea...

Having been locked down for so long, the team just want to see the Sun, beautiful landscapes and gather together as a community; so to put them off all that, they watched Ari Aster’s “Midsommar”. A film in which we learn how to make a menstrual smoothie to wash down that traditional Swedish Hair Pie, the term “bear with me” takes on a grisly new meaning and we have a salutary lesson to never forge...

More classic monsters for the team this week, as we turn our attention to 2002’s British Army Vs Werewolves flick “Dog Soldiers”. A film in which Ser Davos Seaworth regrows his fingers and drops the Geordie accent for a much posher and sinister one; Worzel Gummidge’s son plays tug of war with a dog using his own entrails; and Tommy from Trainspotting discovers you can catch far worse things off an...

It’s vampire time again on Welcome to Horror, and this time it’s Kathryn Bigelow’s vision of dusty drifter/murderers “Near Dark”. A film in which the guy who goes on to stub his cigar out on Arnie’s tit gets his first taste of misplaced barroom bravado, Bishop goes all method at the nail bar and the sun comes up really quickly. Like, really quickly. Along the way we discuss “I Am A Ghost”, “Come T...

It’s a Welcome To Horror Bonus Episode! Lee and Adam bring you another lockdown watch recommendation: HBO TV Movie “Cast A Deadly Spell”; a cross between film noir detective flick and Lovecraftian monster movie with a rich comedic vein and a cast to die for.

We’re joined once more by the legendary Pinball Bobby of the Not For Everyone Podcast to watch 2008 masterpiece “Pontypool”, a film in which Kill is Kiss, your friendly helicopter-riding weatherman is actually a nonce on a hill with a sound effects tape, and Sydney Briar is alive! Along the way we discuss “The Lure”, “Pieces” and the “Sleepaway Camp” films. Watch (or re-watch) to avoid spoilers, a...

It’s a Welcome To Horror Bonus Episode! As we all remain indoors for the foreseeable future; Lee and Lady Jennifer bring you a watch recommendation: Mini-series “Midwinter of the Spirit” - a mixture of detective and horror story - adapted from the novel by Phil Rickman by Ghostwatch creator Stephen Volk. This Welcome To Horror Bonus Episode is available now on the Apple Podcast App, Soundcloud (li...

The gang turn their attention to the directorial debut of makeup/fx master Stan Winston; the marvellous “Pumpkinhead”. A film in which an 80s Super-Douche kills the Milky Bar Kid, Bishop is buff AF, and just what is the world coming to when you can’t even trust an ancient, cackling swamp witch, living in a shack full of rats and spiders? Along the way we discuss “Tiger King”, “The Living Ghost” an...

The team sit down in front of childhood favourite “The Monster Squad”, a film in which Uncle Rico tears up a Cop Shop, Dracula finds time to pimp his ride and (obviously) we find out Wolfman’s got nards. Along the way we discuss “The Shivering Truth”, Coffin Joe, “And Frankenstein Created Bikers” and “The First Purge”. Watch (or re-watch) to avoid spoilers, and join us. APOLOGIES FOR ANY SOUND QUA...

It’s episode 69! And we don’t even laugh about it! We do, however, piss ourselves laughing at Taika Waititi & Jemaine Clement’s “What We Do In The Shadows” - possibly the best Vampire film (comedy or serious), and probably the best mockumentary ever made. Along the way we discuss “The Lighthouse” and “Color Out Of Space”

The gang’s all here! Lady Jennifer, Chris, Lee and Adam sit down for Adam’s birthday choice and listener suggestion, which is the feline-themed anthology “The Uncanny”. A film in which Donald Pleasence has incredible plumbing, someone replaces Joan Greenwood with a selection of beef cuts and a Canadian cousin is an absolute shit! Along the way we discuss “Borley Rectory”, “Bedknobs and Broomsticks...