Welcome to Horror

It’s Lee’s Birthday choice and he’s picked his favourite of 2020 - Jim Cummings’ second feature “The Wolf of Snow Hollow”. A snowbound comedic thriller in which we learn how not to wake a slumbering policeman in the occult section of the library; that pepper spray makes an ideal First Communion gift; and that Willie Nelson is not doing a lot of serious Police work (but then most of the actual Poli...

A long time ago on a Podcast in Essex... It’s 2015, half the entertainment industry gets put on the sex offenders register; fat bellend Jeremy Clarkson punches his producer (who unfortunately doesn’t punch him back); and there’s a murder conspiracy at Crufts. Our Star Wars watch-through reaches the latest trilogy with “The Force Awakens”. So settle down with a plate of your favourite inflatable br...

It’s aliens on a council estate as we celebrate the 10th anniversary of Joe Cornish’s directorial debut: “Attack The Block”. A film in which we see the local kids celebrate Bonfire Night with “Penny for the Gollum”; Doctor Who gets mugged by a Stormtrooper; and Nick Frost plays against type, by portraying a massive stoner. Along the way we discuss the return of “Inside No.9”, “The Day of the Beast...

A long time ago on a Podcast in Essex... It’s November 2019, and what’s a pandemic? Still at least we’ve got 2020 to look forward to. Our Star Wars watch-through veers sideways to the small screen for series 1 & 2 of “The Mandalorian”. So prepare a suitable libation; pack some pickled eggs for the little ‘uns; thrill as Mr Krabs breathes fire; and... is that Apollo Creed..? • Watch (or more likely...

Prepare for family-friendly carnage as our Hunky Boys sit down to watch Steven Kostanski’s “Psycho Goreman”. A fun-loving family film in which cyborg fascist angels eat cubed humans; the Arch-Duke of Nightmares plays drums on a rip-off of Billy Idol’s “Rebel Yell”; and we learn that nothing in the universe is quite as supremely evil as a 12 year old girl. Along the way we discuss “Spring”, The Wer...

The team are joined by Westley Sith of the Mos Eisley Happy Hour for a thoroughly British nightmare; the 1960 adaptation of John Wyndham’s “The Midwich Cuckoos”, filmed as “Village of the Damned”. A film in which Shere Khan has to contend with a whole village of creepy man-cubs; the local Doctor ponces everyone’s cigarettes; and genial Harry Grout becomes a copper coming a cropper on a bicycle. Al...

A long time ago on a Podcast in Essex... It’s 1983, Microsoft launch Word and McDonalds unleash the McNugget; plumber’s nightmare Dennis Nilsen is arrested and jailed; and Children’s ITV begins. Our Star Wars watch-through concludes the original trilogy with “Return of the Jedi”. So take care not to shut your Rancor in the door; realise that the Empire really can’t get the staff these days; sing a...

Anchors away! The team are joined by the mighty Alex for an aquatic masterpiece - the impeccable “Jaws”. A film that highlights how helpful a wrist strap can be for a marine biologist; demonstrates that a Labrador retriever makes a lovely Amuse-Bouche; and reveals that Lee and Mayor Vaughn share a taste in fashion. Along the way we discuss “Shock Waves”, “Ghost Shark”, “Silent Running”, “Humanoids...

A long time ago on a Podcast in Essex... It’s 1980 (and so 80s it hurts) - Pac Man and the Rubik’s Cube both launch; CNN starts broadcasting; and John Lennon is shot dead. Our Star Wars watch-through reaches probably its zenith with “The Empire Strikes Back” So get ready to watch Luke whacking his Wampa in the snow (dirty boy); realise that Yoda’s probably been on his own too long; witness Mr Bron...

It’s comedy horror time with the swan song of the original Universal Monsters as “Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein”. A film in which the mysterious Dr Lejos looks an awful lot like Dracula in a dressing gown; The Wolf Man gets accused of making nuisance phone calls; and Frankenstein’s Monster almost looses his mind. Along the way we discuss “Demons”, “Guardians of the Galaxy”, “Night Stalker”...

A long time ago on a Podcast in Essex... It’s 1977 - 2000AD launches; Lynyrd Skynyrd die in a plane crash; and no one on this podcast was born yet. Our Star Wars watch-through reaches a milestone with “A New Hope” aka “Star Wars”. So prepare yourself for an episode with a longer running time than the actual film; shut down all the garbage mashers on the Detention Level; have a drink in a really ro...

Once upon a time, 4 intrepid podcasters sat down to watch a very Grimm Tale - director Oz Perkin’s “Gretel & Hansel”. A film in which Jessica Hyde threatens to kill her kids; the Borg Queen comes down with a severe case of black finger; and a cat is either magical, or a Continuity Supervisor’s worst nightmare. Along the way we discuss “Rawhead Rex”;“The Lighthouse”; “February” aka “The Blackcoat’s...

A long time ago on a Podcast in Essex... It’s 2016 - The UK votes for Brexit; The USA votes for Donald J Trump; and a multitude of celebrities die (which was probably a wise decision on their part, considering how everything’s been going since then). Our Star Wars watch-through circles back to the main saga via ”Rogue One - A Star Wars Story”. So prepare yourself for a go on Saw Gerrera’s sticky M...

Having witnessed the original, the team turn to David Cronenberg’s reimagining of “The Fly” from 1986. A film in which an 80s super-sleaze invents the Reaction Video; Jeff Goldblum spunks his finger all over the bathroom mirror; and a baboon makes jam (but definitely not as cute as that sounds). Along the way we discuss “Possessor”, “Matinee”, “St Maud” (again, but it’s so good!), “Sputnik”, “Donn...

A long time ago on a Podcast in Essex... It’s 2018 - a dark time for the Rebellion: music is in its absolute nadir; Donald Trump holds total authority; Russian dissidents are dropping like assassinated flies and Toys ‘R’ Us closes it’s doors for the last time... Our Star Wars watch-through moves sideways into ”Solo - A Star Wars Story”. So clean the mud off your Wookiee; put some hazard tape aroun...

It’s atomic-age horror, with the original 1958 version of “The Fly”! A film in which a cat is dispersed into the ether; a common fly is dipped in Tipp-Ex to secure a starring role; and we see the world’s biggest lawn chair. Along the way we discuss “Saint Maud”, horror games reviewed by YouTuber Daz Black, “Xtro”, “Southland Tales” and the original BBC version of “Quatermass and The Pit”. Watch (o...

A long time ago on a Podcast in Essex... It’s 2005, Pope John Paul II dies; YouTube starts; Doctor Who returns to TV and Prince Harry dresses like a Nazi. Our Star Wars watch-through concludes the prequels with ”Revenge of the Sith”. So get General Grievous some Benylin; demonstrate Jedi stealth by clinging to a noisy chicken lizard; cheer at the sight of a planet full of Wookiees; and groan when...

We return to George A Romero’s Living Dead universe for the second instalment in the series: 1978’s classic “Dawn of the Dead”. A film in which we learn that a screwdriver can be an effective substitute for a cotton bud; the consumerist dream is ultimately hollow, even when it brings you a fuck ton of guns and cheese; and the real secret to everyone (all genders, ages, races and religions) getting...

A long time ago on a Podcast in Essex... It’s 2002, Blair and Bush have begun their war criminal love-in, members of the Royal Family keep dropping like flies and Napster is shut down, definitively ending the illegal downloading of copyright material forever... Our Star Wars watch-through continues with “Attack Of The Clones”. So saddle up one of those big testicle-flea-cows; moan to some poor sod...

This episode we watch a classic film that’s so 90s it’s on tour with Oasis, in an Adidas tracksuit, with a Tamagotchi in it’s pocket and signing into it’s Compuserve Email account: Wes Craven’s “Scream”. A film that teaches the mainstream public the rules of slashers, and slasher fans the basics of postmodernism; spawns 15 years worth of unimaginative last-minute Halloween costumes; and features t...

A long time ago, on a Podcast in Essex... It’s 1999, Clinton and Blair are still in charge, “Pretty Fly For A White Guy” is annoying everyone and Kevin Spacey is still a viable Oscar nominee. We kick off our Star Wars watch-through with “The Phantom Menace” (and at least from here it can only get better). So dust off your most offensive accents; stick some Midi-chlorians on the barbie; marvel at t...

Another year, and we kick off in majestic style with another Amicus Anthology - 1973’s “The Vault of Horror”. A film in which Terry-Thomas experiences separation anxiety on a whole new level; the Massey siblings take it in turns to murder each other; Karl Stromberg reaches the end of his rope; and the Fourth Doctor feeds rats with the power of Voodoo! Along the way we discuss “The Living and the D...

It’s nearly the end of 2020, and we bow out with a set of suitably dark stories in Amicus anthology “Tales From The Crypt”. A film in which Peter Cushing breaks our hearts before ripping one out; a group of visually impaired men don’t let it stop them from indulging in some amateur carpentry; and Joan Collins is horrified to discover her husband has crimson poster paint running through his veins....

You didn’t ask for it, but it’s here anyway: A Very “Welcome To Everyone” Christmas Bonus Episode! No one died last time, so we decided to do it again. The Not For Everyone Podcast’s Snobby Bobby and Crude Rude Dude team up with Welcome To Horror’s Chris, Lee and Adam to fight the Martians, rescue Santa and save Christmas! Well, OK, they drink and talk about Christmas. But that’s just as good. An...

To quote Noddy Holder “IT’S CHRISTMAS!” and so we settle down before a roaring TV screen to watch festive family favourite; 1974’s proto-slasher “Black Christmas”. A film which highlights all the exquisite design features of a Canadian Sorority House: The house comes with extensive soundproofing, so you can study without being disturbed by the bloody curdling screams of your housemates. Our live-i...