Welcome to Horror

It’s the second film of our “In Space, No One Can Hear You Jump The Shark” double bill, and for those of you who thought “Jason X” was bad; we present “Leprechaun 4: In Space”. A film in which Lieutenant Gruber turns from Davros into a giant spider (no doubt preventing him from fitting into his little tank); Heidi from “Tool Time” literally makes a man’s penis explode; and Warwick Davis finally ge...

In space, no one can hear you jump the shark. We turn our attention to a couple of horror franchises that looked to stars for (questionable?) inspiration. First off is 2002’s “Jason X” - a film in which we learn that you’d better enjoy the current season of Ice Hockey as it’s getting banned next year; that those newfangled magnetic nipples are not all they’re cracked up to be; and that David Crone...

Welcome To Horror Presents: “The Horror of We Have Been Watching”. Yes, gentle listener, it’s the usual round up of extracurricular viewing by the WTH team. This time around we talk about “Ex Machina”; “The Haunted Mansion” (2023); “Messiah of Evil”; “Children of the Stones”; “Talk to Me”; “Psychoville”; new series “The Fall of the House of Usher” and the book launch for “The Astral Geographic” by...

Go suck a fuck, it’s our episode on “Donnie Darko” (spoilers AND swearing). A film in which we learn the incorrect place to store a Lifeline exercise card; that there’s nothing more beautiful than Drew Barrymore’s cellar door; and that it’s not just Patrick Swayze’s dancing that’s dirty. This brilliantly cast, Halloween-set fantasy stalled at the US box office, did much better when released in the...

In space, no one can hear Lee complain, but we’re back on Earth, so get ready to hear our discussion on Ridley Scott’s “Alien”. A film in which John Hurt rehearses his guest appearance in “Spaceballs”; Tom Skerritt gives a masterclass in poor management (we’ve all worked for a useless prick); and Ian Holm performs cinema’s first self-bukkake. A fantastic, darkly epic film that perfectly straddles...

Welcome To Horror Presents: “We Have Been Watching Must Be Destroyed”. It’s another of our regular round ups of what the team having been shoving into their brain-faces. This time we discuss “Last Night In Soho”;“The Quatermass Experiment at 70”, The “Fear Street” trilogy; “The Babadook”; “47 Ronin”; “On The Silver Globe”; and “Final Destination”. With shout outs to Joe Watson, Nicholas Tomnay, Le...

Last episode we watched “The Red Shoes”, considered by many to be the masterpiece of directors Powell and Pressburger, by contrast we now turn to the film that practically ended Michael Powell’s career, as we discuss 1960’s “Peeping Tom”. A film in which we learn that a surprise lizard is an excellent substitute for a child’s alarm clock; that even a policeman involved in a serious investigation c...

It’s Lady Jennifer’s birthday request; and we’re joined by previous guest Dani for “The Red Shoes” (1948). A dazzlingly beautiful film in which we learn that if a prominent figure in the arts ISN’T a plagiarist, they’re a full blown psychopath; that horse drawn shag wagons were commonplace on the continent in the 40s; and that the show must go on, even if the star has got a train on her head. Whil...

It’s sequel time, as we present “Least Haunted 2: Electric Loup-Garou”. It’s another glimpse into all things weird and spooky with three judgemental pricks. We have a strange tale from a listener (big thanks Joe!); to shoehorn in our incredible episode title, Adam recounts his childhood fascination and dread of the Southend Werewolf; and Lee explains why he could believe Richard Herring is breakin...

It’s time for more spooky real estate, as we turn our attention to “House” (that’s the film from the 80’s, not that TV series where floppy haired fop Hugh Laurie pretended he was tough and grumpy). A film in which we learn that attractive neighbours may roll up and dump their mullet-headed sprog on you without a moment’s notice; that the kookaburra is native to Vietnam; and that Norm Peterson may...

With housing a seeming perennial nightmare, we’re going to look at some nightmare houses, kicking off with an absolute, stone cold classic - Robert Wise’s “The Haunting” (that’s the 1963 one, not the abomination that is the 1999 version with Qui-Gon Jinn). Adapted from the novel by Shirley Jackson “The Haunting of Hill House” (again, not to be confused with the TV series that bears its name, which...

Welcome To Horror Presents: “The Evil of We Have Been Watching”. The team discuss what they’ve been sticking in their stupid flappy faces with our regular round up of what We Have Been Watching. This episode features chat about “Unbreakable” and “Glass” (following on from our episode on “Split”), “Evil Dead Rise”, “King of the Castle”, “Knock at the Cabin” (again), Hammer’s late flourish of Vampir...

It’s time to make like a banana (who enjoys the work of M. Night Shyamalan) and watch “Split”. A film in which learn that a Varvatos shirt will excuse 90s cargo pants; that security guards are utterly useless, especially if they’ve still got your orange headphones; and that Kanye is my main man, et cetera. By being a “stealth sequel” to “Unbreakable”, and becoming the middle leg of a trilogy concl...

There’s a lot of films called “The Voices”; but we’re covering the best - the Marjane Satrapi directed 2014 one, starring Ryan Reynolds. A film that teaches you the value of covering cold meat, even in the fridge; that if someone shifty doesn’t want you to go inside their house, take the hint and walk away; and, in the words of Dr Peter Venkman, cats and dogs living together IS mass hysteria. A st...

Welcome To Horror Presents: “The Revenge of We Have Been Watching”. Time, once again, to discuss all the different audio/visual media that we have shoved up our brains, via our lugs and peepers, over the last few weeks. This episode features talk on “Get Out”; anthology series “Tales of Unease”; “Renfield”; Charlie Brooker’s “Dead Set”, “Enys Men”; “Knock At The Cabin”; “Cube 2: Hypercube”; “The D...

Well looky here! It’s another Welcome To Horror bonus episode! A spoiler free review of “Casting Kill” from Director James Smith and Raya Films. Currently available for streaming via Amazon and Tubi, having made waves at various festivals - this is a inventive, low budget, thriller set in the world of the audition circuit, which develops moments of macabre tension, whilst also being wickedly funny...

We conclude our Haunted April season (in May) with Brad Anderson’s atmospheric chiller “Session 9”. A film in which we learn that health and safety at work is one thing, but health safety in the kitchen can save lives; crematorium walls that pay out like slot machines are best left alone; and maybe if you took less tea breaks and stop pissing off to listen to old tapes, we could get this job finis...

It’s another cheeky Welcome To Horror bonus episode, you lucky people! Here’s Chris and Adam’s spoiler free review of 2 more works from writer/director/producer/actor (and all round top man) Kemal Yildirim; his 2021 feature “Wastelands” and its companion piece, the 2017 short “Saudade”. A haunting drama of an isolated woman, estranged from her family and conducting an on/off dysfunctional relation...

We return, once more to the work of the one and only Mr John Carpenter (the only J.C. we worship round here). It’s time for 1980’s “The Fog”, a film which proves that 2 generations of scream queens are better than one; that a regular series of pissed-up night-fishing boat-trips will eventually end badly; and Tom Atkins, even without his trademark moustache, is still an absolute shagger. John Carpe...

In a break to our usual format, and to continue our “Haunted April” episodes we present “Least Haunted”. A discussion on our general thoughts and feelings towards the uncanny, the supernatural and the unexplained. The boys recount their own brushes against reality’s veil: Thrill as you hear of the Brentwood Manta Ray UFO, shiver at the tale of the Norfolk Farmhouse Apparition, and prepare to be sh...

Surprise! It’s a cheeky Welcome To Horror bonus episode. Here’s a spoiler free review of “The Haunting Of The Lady-Jane” from writer/director/producer Kemal Yildirim. Currently building a reputation at film festivals; we first saw this film at Horror-on-sea, but wanted to say a bit more about it than we had chance to in our own HOS episode. A slow burn, folk horror journey across the haunted water...

More Troma goodness for you with 2015’s “My Bloody Banjo”. A film in which we learn that a vape just doesn’t cut it next to a real cigarette in basic torture; judiciously applied piano wire can liven up even the most tedious of corporate events; and that if you believe in paper; say it with your balls! The debut feature from Liam Regan, whose latest film “Eating Miss Campbell” is currently wowing...

It’s Troma time! Yes folks, we’re finally introducing Chris to the unique world of Lloyd Kaufman as we kick off with “Class of Nuke ‘Em High”. A film which highlights the usual struggles of American youth: being peer pressured into smoking (radioactive) weed; teenage pregnancy (that results in a giant mutated beast prowling the hallways); the inability to pronounce “cretin” properly; and nuclear p...

Welcome To Horror Presents: “The Curse of We Have Been Watching”. It’s time once more, gentle listener, for a quick run through of the audio/visual stimuli that we have posted into our cerebral cortexes via our ocular globes and sound flaps. This episode we discuss “Bedazzled” (1967), “Scream” (2022), “Superstition” (1982), “Cannibal Holocaust”, Tim Burton’s “Wednesday”, “Brotherhood of the Wolf”,...

“What’s in the box?” It’s Adam’s Birthday choice, and he’s opted for wacky screwball rom-com “Se7en” from Hollywood fun-meister David Fincher. “Se7en”, a bleak glimpse into a world spiralling into hell (a bit like the news, but featuring good-looking people you care about). We learn that a man sitting in his own excrement will usually move out of it if he can; we confirm that serial murderers neve...