We Need To Talk with Harry and Shade

Send us Fan Mail Send us Fan Mail There's a kind of calm that comes from knowing exactly what to expect — even when what to expect isn't good for you. In this episode, Harry and Shade break down why so many people stay in relationships, jobs, and friendships they already know aren't working. We get into the psychology behind it — sunk cost fallacy, narrative identity, fear-based vs....

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Harry and Shade dive deep into the foundation of a strong relationship: personal growth. They explore the concept that a great partnership isn't built on grand romantic gestures, but on thousands of small, consistent daily choices—what they call "laying bricks." Discover four practical tools that actually work for building a better relationship, fro...

Send us Fan Mail There's a kind of silence that follows you when you walk away from your own family. Not because you stopped loving them, but because loving them stopped looking like staying. In this episode, Harry and Shade get personal about something most people go through, and almost nobody talks about out loud: being the black sheep. Choosing growth even when it costs you the people who...

Send us Fan Mail This is the episode we did not plan to make. But it is the one we had to. Harry and Shade go deeper than they have ever gone — connecting brain science, marriage, parenting, and what it means to raise Black children in a world that is still running on very old, very dangerous programs. This is not a political episode. This is a human episode. About fear. About the stories our brai...

Send us Fan Mail Money ends more marriages than cheating. Not because couples don't love each other — but because they never had the real  conversation about it. In Episode 5, Harry and Shade go all the way in on finances. The money mindsets they each brought into this marriage. The mistakes. The disagreements. The power dynamics. And the financial lessons that only 20 years of real life toge...

Send us Fan Mail Most couples think they have good communication  problem. But what if the real problem is not  HOW you communicate, but WHAT is actually  driving the conversation without your  permission? In Episode 4, Harry and Shade break down the  two systems are running inside your brain every  single day and show exactly how they show up  inside a marriage, in real arguments, real  patterns,...

Send us Fan Mail This is the episode most podcasts won't make. Harry and Shade get completely vulnerable about  something millions of couples go through and almost  nobody talks about out loud — intimacy challenges,  body changes, and the health issues that silently  affect your relationship before you even know  what's happening. This one is personal. This one is real.  And this one mig...

Send us Fan Mail We said we weren't done with Trust — and we meant it. Episode 2 picks up right where we left off. Harry and  Shade finish answering the Top 10 most common trust  questions couples actually ask and as always, we  don't always agree. That's kind of the whole point. Then we do something new we break down a real  Comment left by a listener and answer it in 5 deep  quest...

Send us Fan Mail Welcome to We Need To Talk with Harry and Shade the podcast where a real married couple sits down, keeps it 100, and has the conversations most people avoid. We're Harry and Shade Farquharson. Twenty years married, four kids ranging from 7 to 20, and zero interest in pretending we have it all figured out. This podcast is our real story the love, the hard seasons, the laughs,...