We Married The Family

In today's episode I'm joined by licensed therapist and adjunct professor Maliha Khan from Houston, Texas to talk all things Jama Taqseem! A thought provoking, psychological dissection of the popular drama that depicts joint family living with a very interesting mixture of dynamics and events. It gave us so much to talk about! Gender roles and expectations, culture clashes, fear in the family syst...

A common occurrence that really damages a woman’s self-esteem is the constant criticism from her in-laws. It’s a tough thing to overcome and you might spend many years in fearing their words, being scarred by their words or overthinking them. Working on your perspective and your own worth will help you to build your strength back up. Remember to be kind to yourself because you’re dealing with a lo...

What does home mean to you? Can you feel at home in someone else’s home? In this episode I unpack these questions and shed light on emotional homelessness. To join the DIL’s membership click here: https://spiritualpsychologist.co.uk/we-married-the-family Or book in for a session: https://spiritualpsychologist.co.uk/ You can find me on IG: @spiritual.psychologist and e-mail me: nadia@spiritualpsych...

Today’s episode is going into the subconscious layer of the dream-world and exploring some of the ways that your in-laws might show up whilst your asleep. Should you take that as a warning? Ignore it? Or is there something deeper to be curious about? I’ll give you some examples of the different ways in-laws arise in your dreams and what it could be showing you about your emotional, relational and...

A sad reality is that there are a lot of daughters-in-law who are denying themselves of a basic survival need because they don’t like being around their in-laws. This episode explores a confession, it was sent in by one of my followers on Instagram, but there were a lot more sent in on the same theme and I’ve included them throughout the episode i.e. feeling guilty for eating before others, feelin...

Today’s episode is an exploration of the parallels between the story of the Ugly Duckling and experiences that daughters-in-law go through. Experiences of facing rejection, being in exile, trauma, isolation, losing your self-worth and discovering it again. The episode was inspired by the section on belonging in the book Women Who Run With The Wolves by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes (chapter 6). To jo...

Today’s episode is about learned helplessness, a term coined by psychologist Martin Seligman in the 70’s. It refers to the state of helplessness after repeated negative experiences that a person has not been able to exit from. Seligman also went on to research and teach about learned optimism, the opposite to learned helplessness. With little control, lack of agency and resources, I see this pheno...

Ramadan can be especially stressful for some daughters-in-law, a month that we would love to enjoy can become a month that is exhausting and full of dread because of the social roles and expectations. As with all confessions I don’t have the context so I’m exploring general issues and patterns that could contribute to this issue. Including: household chores, negative behavioural cycles and limited...

Life as a daughter-in-law living with in-laws can be a struggle for anyone, but for someone who’s neurodivergent, the struggle amplifies. Keeping up with family, making time to do the chores ‘properly’ and regularly, maintaining the home without any support… all of these come with extra difficulty and added emotional stress for a neurodivergent DIL. Today’s episode goes into this interplay between...

Today’s episode is a dive into family dynamics through an illustration* (by illustration I mean a diagram >_< ) When two people get married, the families expand, but how does the couple create its own unit within the family system? I will share an alternative, re-negotiation, of cultural norms so that your marriage can thrive (or at least be safe) whilst living with in-laws. You’ll understan...

Today’s episode is a confession episode, it's a very common experience that daughters-in-law go through: a loss of self. Someone sent this in sharing that since she's been married, she doesn't know who she is anymore, if you can relate to this woman then this episode is for you too! I share some reasons why daughters-in-law might be experiencing a loss of identity: childhood upbringing, fitting-in...

Today’s episode is about the virtue of patience and how it has been inaccurately adopted to spiritually bypass the real issues. Recognise whether you are harming yourself (or someone else) by giving them this advice. And learn what true patience is from a spiritual perspective. To join the DIL’s membership click here: https://spiritualpsychologist.co.uk/we-married-the-family Or book in for a sessi...

Today’s episode explores the ways a DIL feels invisible in the family and her marriage. From sheer ignorance of her experiences due to tradition, to invalidation and dehumanisation. I'll share some pointers on how to overcome this and improve the dynamics for a husband, the wife and the in-laws. To join the DIL’s membership click here: https://spiritualpsychologist.co.uk/we-married-the-family Or b...

This week’s episode comes with a warning because it is about abuse. Take it slow, especially if it’s close to home, seek support if you need it. I share information about this insidious type of abuse that can go undetected for a long time. You’ll learn about the key indicators of Coercive Control and how it might show up for a daughter-in-law. If you, or someone you know, is going through this bel...

Today's episode explores a confession sent in by a daughter-in-law. Most people won't have to think twice about when they do their laundry. But for DIL's it's an invisible weight, something they may create new, and seemingly unusual, routines for. I touch on multiple factors that are at play here: Hypervigilance, Avoidance Coping and Boundary Ambiguity. If you have a confession you want to share y...

This week’s episode is inspired by a client session. I present the well-known metaphor of taking your seat at the table, or leaving a table that doesn’t respect you, in relation to in-laws. The people seated around your table, the way meals are served and shared, the conversations that happen at your table, will be unique to you and the family you’ve gone into. But if things are less than satisfac...

In part 2 of Privacy Issues with in-laws I cover the emotional dimension. This is all about your personal boundaries, how much do you share of yourself with your in-laws? How do you and your husband manage conflict whilst living with his family? And what do you do when a family member, or your partner, has betrayed your trust by sharing your feelings with others? I address these questions and give...

This weeks episode is Part 1 of a 2 part series on Privacy Issues when living with in-laws. I cover the major issues that arise around physical space including intimacy issues, shared space and boundaries. And I share some things that you and your partner need to do in order to maintain your privacy and build a close connection as husband and wife, even whilst living with the family.

In this episode I explore a confession sent in by a follower on Instagram. What do you do when you hate your husband? Why would you hate him in the first place? I unpack some of this in today's episode. The confessions sent in have no context so I give different perspectives and different ways of addressing the issue. You can join the DIL's membership group by visiting: www.wemarriedthefamily.com

In this episode you'll learn about an unhealthy family dynamic of rigid hierarchies and how that contributes to mistreatment of DIL's. To join the DIL's membership visit my website: www.wemarriedthefamily.com Doors close for the first round on Sept 20th so get in early and get 50% off an annual membership!

Many daughters-in-law share a collective grief, especially if they are living with in-laws. A grief around married life turning out different to what they expected. In this episode I share a reflection, put together from voices of many dils. To join the DIL's membership group visit my website: www.wemarriedthefamily.com Doors close 20th Sept so get in early and get your 50% off!