We Have Darkvision

“Hello my baby, Hello my honey, hello my rag time gal,Send me a fish by wire. Baby, my home’s a mire”–The Bullywug mating call I hope you brought your boots, because this week we’re getting deep in the muck with the delusional amphibians known as Bullywug. They’re greedy. They’re needy. And they live where it’s reedy. They call the swamp their home and really want you to be impressed by them. Bull...

The Gang has been split up. Nubz and Captain Endicott execute the first part of their multi phase plan to kill El Diablo, destroy the Gex and close the shimmering tear. Bort and Kroy grind up a squirrel and make a new type of burger. Looks like one team is not taking this seriously. Let’s see how this turns out.

“Faster than a speeding Bulette! More powerful than a… Bulette? Able to leap tall, uhh… Bulettes… in a single… umm… Bulette”-This goof on a Superman quote really falls apart the longer it goes on. This week Kyle and Alex learn all about how to pronounce the word ‘Bulette’. And once that’s out of the way, they learn about Bulettes themselves. Turns out they’re basically  Ankheg’s that don’t have an...

On this week’s episode of ‘We Have Darkvision′ The Gang formally reunites with Raf. Nubz formulates a plan to infiltrate the Gex’s hideout that could very well spell the end for Captain Endicott and herself. Bort and Kroy spend their time discussing the merits of choosing capitalism over friendship.

“If you go down in the woods todayYou’re in for a big surpriseIf you go down in the woods todayYou’ll be made into stir fry”– Bugbears Picnic   Bugbears might sound cute, but believe me they are anything but. Whatever you’re picturing is probably wrong. Unless you’re picturing a roid raging Grizzly Bear with a level of cunning on par with Yogi Bear. Except the Bugbear’s Pic-a-nic Basket is probabl...

On this week’s episode of ‘We Have Darkvision′ The Gang puts their stealth sailing skills to the test. Then, while trying to enter the lighthouse, they get into a tussle with some Gex. Captain Endicott learns an important lesson about Gex anatomy when The Gang fills him in on the ‘smash their kneecaps’ policy.

“There isn’t any more! What do you want me to do, slit my wrists? Wait, you’re a plant. I’m a vampire. Why am I feeding you blood? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?“ -Vampire Rick Moranis in the new gritty reboot of Little Shop of Horrors. I don’t want to ruin the whole origin story here, but I will say this: Blights have the silliest origin and I am so totally on board with it. The plants com...

On this week’s episode of ‘We Have Darkvision′ The Gang picks up some new swag then heads out to Deal with some Gex. They also meet up with Captain Endicott, a dwarven smuggler. Oh, and did they really just meet Sef’s mom?

“Bone Jaw is ready!”-A quote from the better version of The Macho Man Randy Savage’s Spider-Man. This episode is a big one. The Beholder and it’s entire evolution line are some of the most iconic Dungeons and Dragons creatures of all time, so naturally, there is a lot to say about them. On the one hand, it’s nice to have so much established lore for Beholders, Death Tyrants and Spectators. It make...

On this week’s episode of ‘We Have Darkvision′ The Gang hangs around Wolf Rock while making some very important business decisions, some equipment decisions and destination decisions.  They also decide to join an exclusive club. Look, this is a very decision heavy episode.

“Behir, far, wherever you areI believe that the heart does go on*.”-Ms. Titanic   Here’s a good one. What has 12 legs, goat horns and is neither snake nor lizard, but is also both of those things? A Behir! Ha! got you, it’s not a joke. It’s actually just a nightmare come to life. If someone told you they found a snake with legs, you’d probably say “Umm, that’s a lizard you moron.” And then they wo...

On this week’s episode of ‘We Have Darkvision′ The Gang makes a quick stopover in Goodleaf where they meet up with one of their old friends. No, acquaintances. No… someone they’ve run into before. It’s hard to tell if the Gang is excited about this or not. Then they head on back to Wolf Rock and hang on… is that another old friend? Woah, what is this? Reunion Central Station? Good joke Kyle.

“Come… come to me… Let me rip you… Let me tear you… Let me kill you. I like eating stones. They yummy in my tummy.“- The Basilisk, from that one Harry Potter book. I hope you’ve brushed up on your Parseltongue because today we’re talking about the Basilisk! Nah, just kidding you don’t need to speak Parseltongue. That’s a completely made up language that J.K Rowling barfed into existence. (That’s h...

On this week’s episode of ‘We Have Darkvision′ The Gang reunites with Lars and finally make it out of the Old Stonefist City Ruins. But, will they make it out of the New Stonefist City…umm… not ruins?

“In space sunlight, no one can hear you a Banshee scream.” – Alien Wizards of the Coast (probably) At some point in our lives, we’ve all played a version of the “If you could be a monster, what kind of monster would you be?” game. Well, this week we learn that sometimes you get to pick the monster, and sometimes the monster picks you. Today, Alex was picked by the Banshee. While learning about the...

On this week’s episode of ‘We Have Darkvision′ The Gang pulls a Sue Storm and goes invisible. They also attempt to deal with another shimmering tear, and then try to make Julia Roberts proud when they go all ‘Ocean’s 11’ and try to finish pulling off the heist of the century.

This week Kyle and Alex learn all about Azer: the Living Braziers. (No. Get your heads out of the gutter. You’re thinking of brazzers.) I hope y’all like volcanoes because these dudes are bronze fire babies that come from the Elemental Plane of Fire, and volcanoes are their daddies. Well, no. Azer don’t really have daddies. Well, they kind of do. Their daddies pound them (…huh. This is sounding mo...

On this week’s episode of ‘We Have Darkvision′ The Gang gets rich beyond their wildest dreams. It turns out there is a lot of stuff in this vault, and some of it might even be useful. The Gang fumbled their way into the vault, and now they’ll need to get out. But knowing them, it’s not going to be easy.

Do you own a ranch? You do? Shit. Please tell me it’s Ranch Dressing. It’s not? It’s a full blown ranch with real cows?  Well, I hope you have some Ankheg repellent. Get some of that bitter apple spray and put it on your cow’s ankles. Maybe that will deter these ravenous beasts from turning your livestock into a buffet. It more than likely won’t deter them, but you gotta try something. Right? This...

On this week’s episode of ‘We Have Darkvision′ The Gang circumvents some traps, ignore some cool things that they’ll never get back and then… wait… holy shit! They actually finally sing a Creed song FIRST FUCKING TRY! Congrats team. I’m so proud of you.

What do you think of when you hear the word Angels? No need to answer. We already know what you’re going to say. It’s 'Angel' by Shaggy. Who could ever forget the lyrics to this classic tune? “Girl, you’re my angel, you’re my darling angelCloser than my peeps you are to me, babyShorty, you’re my angel, you’re my darling angelGirl, you’re my friend when I’m in need, lady”However, we get the feeling...

On this week’s episode of ‘We Have Darkvision′ The Gang does a chase scene, does some backtracking and makes a silent ally. And then, holy smokes, guess what? Is that the entrance to the lower level of the Old Stonefist City?

“I’m just a kidAboleth is a nightmare”-Simple Plan I bet you didn’t know that “I’m Just A Kid” was really about the Aboleth, did you?  

On this week’s episode of ‘We Have Darkvision′ The Gang actually discovers something useful. Well actually, to be precise, they’ve come across a lot of things that would have been useful, but for some reason decided to ignore those things. So let’s amend that statement to be “This week The Gang not only discovers something useful, but also have the wherewithal to realize that it is useful in the m...

Welcome to the first episode of our new series ‘Monster Friends’! We’re really excited about it and hope you are too. The Dungeons and Dragons Monster manual has a ton of entries in it, but we don’t think it’s fair to label all those creatures as ‘monsters’. We think a lot of them are probably pretty great and friendly. So in each episode of Monster Friends, Kyle and Alex take a look at a new crea...