We Hate Movies

On this WHM Summer Rerun, the gang looks back at the time they got in the ring with Rocky IV ! Everyone agrees that Paulie is Cinema's Greatest Loser. Rocky is out of control arrogant in this movie. And the stones on Stallone to have his titular pugilist essentially end the Cold War by giving a sappy end-of-match speech! Rocky IV stars Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lundgren, Talia Shire, Carl Weathers...

Original Air Date: 2/12/13 On this WHM Summer Rerun, the gang reminisces about one of their absolute favorite films from the WHM catalog, Tuff Turf ! Steve wonders how James Spader's possible Back to the Future audition went. Andrew impersonates Jim Carroll delivering dialog on heroin. And Chris butchers up the "80s Teen Dramedy" cow. PLUS: Two words - Jack. Mack. Tuff Turf stars James Spader, Kim...

Original Air Date: 9/4/12 On the first WHM Summer Rerun, the gang looks back at the batshit classic, Invisible Child ! Andrew explains how he'd handle someone thinking they had an invisible child, Steve rags on the secret society of English nannies and Eric guesses why Victor Garber would make a whole pizza in the middle of the night. His theory? To curb horny behavior! Fan Favorite Line: "I mean,...

On the WHM Summer Finale, the #SBE2014 comes to an end when the gang chats about the incredibly annoying and sadly family friendly Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze ! Why didn't they put Bebop and Rocksteady in this movie? Is Splinter chasing the dragon through this whole thing? And what is with no one at the Vanilla Ice warehouse concert being terrified by a group of fightin...

On this week's episode, the gang rides the rails with Steven Seagal and Eric Bogosian in the train hijacking sequel, Under Siege 2: Dark Territory ! Why do we need Seagal microwaving a cake? Did Bogosian have to do that Rod Serling impression? And is Seagal really getting foiled by a Newton and a clogged fax line? PLUS: We all better go talk to the Captain. Under Siege 2: Dark Territory stars Stev...

In the July Mailbag, Andrew, Eric and Chris talk about naked old fellas, Charles Manson, bad celebrity impressions and more! Have something for the Mailbag? Get at us to be featured in the August episode! Write the WHM Mailbag today: weallhatemovies@gmail.com! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

In this week's episode, the gang bundles up with the ultra boring disaster dud, The Day After Tomorrow ! How 'bout those CGI wolves, huh? Why did they think hiding in a library would be exciting? And just how useless is Sela Ward in this movie? PLUS: This Fall, Louie Anderson returns to a lot of NBC. The Day After Tomorrow stars Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhaal, Emmy Rossum, Sela Ward, Dash Mihok, Ja...

In this week's episode, the gang enters the back half of their Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza with Tim Burton's depressingly terrible Planet of the Apes ! Why not hire anybody besides Mark Wahlberg? Why are we still sending chimps into space in 2029? And what kind of a trampoline budget were they working with here? PLUS: Twilight Zone 's greatest "secret robot" scenarios. Planet of the Apes stars...

On this week's episode, the gang tackles a sweaty ass Burt Reynolds' movie with the pretty silly, Stroker Ace ! Is Stroker an immortal god who has lived through Prohibition and the sweaty 1980s? Is Ned Beatty's character really just Otis from Superman on the run from Mr. Luthor? And how many prehistoric jokes can we fit into one movie? PLUS: Eric mildly enjoys Tom Jones, Andrew does not. Different...

On this edition of Animation Damnation , the guys are ragging on an episode of the Star Trek cartoon entitled, "The Magicks of Megas-Tu"! While possibly being a huge commercial for their all-new, hilarious, Trekmentary: Nemesis track, the guys also spend some time pondering George Lucas on 'ludes, Kirk being okay with Satan and whether or not Bones was a Confederate racist. Unlock Exclusive Conten...

In this week's episode, the 4th annual Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza continues as the gang tackles the Gotham-less, action-less, interest-less Catwoman ! Why is this movie not set in Gotham? Is Benjamin Bratt's character really named Tom Lone? And why on Earth does this version of Catwoman need magical cat powers? PLUS: The guys take a trip to Michael Massee's Garbage Island. Catwoman stars Hall...

In this week's episode, the Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza 2014 rolls on with the sexy cyber thriller, Swordfish ! What is with that wretched Dog Day Afternoon monologue? Take a gander at Hugh Jackman's excellent frosted tips! And who would ever want to put up and hang out with John Travolta's character? PLUS: Halle Berry as Michael Jackson in 2016! Swordfish stars Hugh Jackman, John Travolta, Ha...

In this week's episode, the gang travels to Outworld to take on Goro and the rest of the freaks in the ass kicking video game adaptation, Mortal Kombat ! Why did they cower away from any blood whatsoever? Why does Reptile have to look like the SoBe mascot? And why did they cast a white guy to play Lord Rayden? PLUS: A Mortal Kombat themed vacation resort might be the new Happiest Place on Earth! M...

On this WHM Mail Bag , the gang opens up some letters talking about strange Chuck E. Cheese encounters, divorced dads at the movies, favorite Jim Belushi films and academic Abraxas crossword puzzles! PLUS: A letter from an actual American hero.  If you have a silly, fun, sad, outlandish, weird story that you think is WHM-related, write in! Send all eerie tales to weallhatemovies@gmail.com! Unlock...

In this week's episode, the gang kicks off #SBE2014 with the dull film about wannabe superheroes, Mystery Men ! Why make a movie about tertiary characters from a comic book no one really cares about? What was with that brutal murder? And is it possible Tim Burton directed this? PLUS: The "Time to Make the Donuts" guy is getting ripped off... from beyond the grave! Mystery Men stars Ben Stiller, Ha...

In this week's episode, the gang concludes their Memorial Day Hot Dogs & Hamburgers double feature by taking to task the incredibly offensive college comedy, Hamburger: The Motion Picture ! Why is our hero such a dud? How was everyone okay with the treatment of Magneto Jones? And did Dick Butkus' character really need to be a racist? PLUS: Ronald Reagan movie reviews and Jesse Ventura counts "...

In this week's episode, the gang hits the slopes with the outrageous, irresponsible, hot dog free, Hot Dog... The Movie ! Why are we touring so many motels before we get to the mountain resort? Who thought naming a Japanese character "Kamikaze" was a good/funny idea? And what's with the Duran Duran instrumental mix? PLUS: Nick Nolte, Nazi Hunter. Hot Dog... The Movie stars David Naughton, Patrick...

In this week's episode, the gang tackles the ridiculous Jesse "The Body" Ventura masterpiece, Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe ! What is the point of those crappy police characters? Why do we need so many people doing voice overs? And is that, no, it can't be...Jim Belushi? PLUS: We think one of those house painters over there just might be Secundas. Abraxas, Guardian of the Universe stars Jesse...

In this week's episode, the gang gets super extreme and totally has their minds blown while watching The Butterfly Effect ! With this trumped up student film, who thought it was a good idea to put up the money? Why does there have to be so many bad things happening to these poor kids? Pick one! And who really thought that Directors' Cut ending was worth even shooting? PLUS: A peek inside the write...

In this week's episode, the gang gets in a bar brawl with Clint Eastwood and Clyde the Orangutan in the bare knuckle action flick, Every Which Way But Loose ! How is Eastwood getting this ape into all these restaurants? Why does Beverly D'Angelo so easily agree to get in this creep's truck? And who on Earth asked for that much Ruth Gordon? PLUS: Eastwood's blood is boiling. Every Which Way But Loo...

In this week's episode, the gang tackles the laughless, Anthony Michael Hall passion project, Hail Caesar ! How did something like this get the green light? Why did Robert Downey agree to this nothing role? And how dare they drop a secret music video into this film? PLUS: The search for laughs turns up zero results. Hail Caesar stars Anthony Michael Hall, Bobbie Phillips, Leslie Danon, Samuel L. J...

In this week's episode, the gang enters the Under 18 All-Valley tournament with Ralph Macchio and Thomas Ian Griffith in the ridiculous sequel, The Karate Kid Part III ! Why did the filmmakers insist on making all the stories play back-to-back? How is John Kreese not in prison for joking out kids in parking lots? And what is with that platonic relationship crap, LaRusso? PLUS: Terry Silver takes o...

In this week's episode, the gang gets nostalgic for '80s arcade culture with the ?classic? raunch comedy, Joysticks ! How does this nerd fall for that sorority prank at the beginning? Why isn't Joe Don Baker tossing furniture in this movie? And isn't it beautiful to see the entire high school caste system melt away once these characters enter the glorious video arcade? Plus: Joe Don Baker gets mis...

In this week's episode, the gang goes on the road with Elijah Wood and Bruce Willis in the absolutely horrendous family tragedy, North ! Who thought any of the so-called jokes in this movie would actually land? How is it that no one saw just how cruel this film is? And how on Earth did they get away with so much racism? Plus: Some of the most stomach churning child acting you've ever seen! North s...

In this week's episode, the gang tries (and fails) to travel through time with Fisher Stevens and Dennis Hopper in the forgotten sci-fi dud, My Science Project ! Why did the script call for all those slurs? How does this time travel movie not feature any time travel? And how do you boil Dennis Hopper down into such a nothing character? Plus: A kid from 1985 travels to a McDonald's...in 1998. My Sc...