We Gauge Cage

You can run a campaign. You can run through the streets. But you can't run your friend's nose! That's how the old saying goes. Brock and Brian watched the 2015 Nic Cage (hopefully) forgotten (not) classic political (not) thriller/drama "The Runner." Did you know that Brian was a runner? You do now. Do with that information what you will. Brock and Brian waste the majority...

What's the opposite of Top Gun? If you guessed "bottom arrow," then congratulations! You are qualified to host this podcast! If you watched the 1990 Nicolas Cage film "Fire Birds," like Brock and Brian did this week, then you would know that "Fire Birds" is the true answer. This pale imitation of a Top Gun ripoff with (somehow) almost twice the budget, half the s...

Do you believe in love at first sight? Neither do the boys. But they'll be damned if they're willing to give this film another watch and find out. Nic Cage's latest offering, 2018's "Looking Glass," did not provide the level of honesty, trust, and commitment that Brock and Brian were expecting from a filmital commitment. But before all that, get ready for a deep dive...

Looks like we made it. Look how far we've come, my babies. The boys were desperate for something, anything, to wash the bad taste of Dog Eat Dog out of their mouths. This week they found solace in Nic Cage's 2014 film "Outcast." Nic has a chance to show off his range by playing a Scottish samurai bandit warlord, but ultimately takes a backseat to the gorgeous, flawless radiance...

*sigh*Ladies and gentlemen? Do you mind if we call you "ladies and gentlemen?" Well, ladies and gentlemen...Not much more can be said about this film. Brian and Brock watched Nic Cage's 2016 film "Dog Eat Dog." Hopefully, so that none of you will ever have to. Seriously though, f*ck this movie. While doing anything to avoid having to actually talk about the film, the boys...

Let's address the homicidal, filicidal, manic elephant in the room: the boys cheated. Brock and Brian were supposed to watch a different movie according to their metrics, but they couldn't pass up an opportunity to view Nic Cage's most recent cinematic offering, 2018's action-horror-black-comedy "Mom & Dad."Who better to explain the loving bond between parent and...

Anton Yelchin was a true generational talent, celebrated for his work in such films as JJ Abrams' Star Trek (2009) films, his romantic turn in 2011's Like Crazy, his dramatic early work in 2007's Charlie Bartlett, and his recent 2015 indie horror thriller (which Brock thoroughly enjoyed) Green Room. You can also catch him in the upcoming film Thoroughbreds, in select theaters March...

Well you're not hardcore...until you live softcore. And this film, that we just watched, was way softcore! This week, the fellas cuddled up with a bottle of award-winning Pillsbury wine, lit a candle or two, and settled in for an erotic thriller - Nic Cage's 1991 film "Zandalee." Brock and Brian discuss their storied careers as professional grapers, Brock's trip to Cottonw...

Brock and Brian take their talents to Eastern Europe for this one. They are scraping at the door to chat about their beautiful, loving, best wives ever; their experience with fishy white sauce; and last and almost certainly least, the latest Nic Cage film that they watched. This week brought them the 2011 sequel "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance," which was Nic Cage's limited (and h...

Ladies and gentlemen, let's address the overacting, bloody elephant in the room right off the top: the audio quality on this one isn't our favorite. It's not the worst thing in the world, but it's not our best. And you deserve our best. However, we huddled together and felt like the content was worth releasing anyway. We captured lightning in a bottle, baby! Brock and Brian wat...

We don't think you're ready for this jelly. After a much-deserved songular introduction to our titular leading man, Brock and Brian debate over which of them is the worse influence on the other, and then hop right into the post-apocalyptic nightmare of Nic Cage's film The Humanity Bureau (2017, technically...don't worry about it). Romanian subtitles, bread-soaked eye sockets, w...

Phallic Symbol, Phallic Symbol. Brian and Brock and their twin brothers Kircher and Ambrosius hop in their puddle-jumper airplanes and travel to the mysterious private island of Summers Eve/Isle with the world's greatest highway patrolman detective, Nicolas Cage, to find out what's going on with The Wicker Man (remake, from 2006). Look, Nic Cage doesn't ask any of the right question...

DISCLAIMER: We're just two guys. When we started out, these first couple of episodes were rough. The audio was rough. The mics were crappy. Our banter was rough. We stepped over each other while talking. And we weren't super comfortable talking on mic yet. But, we promise that it gets better. We get a template, we get a rhythm, we get in a groove. So, if this is your starting point while...

DISCLAIMER: We're just two guys. When we started out, these first couple of episodes were rough. The audio was rough. The mics were crappy. Our banter was rough. We stepped over each other while talking. And we weren't super comfortable talking. But, we promise that it gets better. We get a template, we get a rhythm, we get in a groove. So, if this is your starting point while listening,...

DISCLAIMER: We're just two guys. When we started out, these first couple of episodes were rough. The audio was rough. The mics were crappy. Our banter was rough. We stepped over each other a lot. And we weren't super comfortable talking on mic. But, we promise that it gets better. We get a template, we get a rhythm, we get in a groove. So, if this is your starting point while listening,...