We Don't Have Time For This

So, it's the first week out of lockdown and we're... remote recording . Why you ask? Well, you can once again blame daycare for everything terrible in our lives. We have a lot going this week, such as being tired, feeling exhausted and other highly attractive, vibrant things a person re-entering society wants to be! Revz is about to start life as a single lady, Gem just wants to hit the children's...

Summer is coming, we can feel it in the air and we've decided we're vibing a HOT GIRL SUMMER , or at least, we're gonna force ourselves to vibe it with some over-correcting body-love. Who's in? Teddy is romancing Revz, with love letters and Gem got beautifully schooled by a Boy-Mum, which leads us into a fresh look at gender. Why do we give our boys the gift of independence and over-think the pink...

Today's caller's period is a no show. And we simply cannot work out how she feels about it. If you want to "phone" the Bestie Hotline, send us a voice note in our instagram DMs with your dilemma! Gem & Revz x See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We're here, we're fully vaxxed , and we're so sorry we let you down with the missing episode we thought no one would notice. Turns out you're a highly observant bunch of super sleuths and nothing gets past you, so, kudos, DLs, kudos. But we all want to know, how was the Maccas dirty chai? Won't ruin the scintillating answer here, but it got us thinking, you can tell a lot about a person from their...

This week's bestie caller has a gripe about people crying on socials, having a whinge and hating their husbands ( has she met us ?) If you want to "phone" the Bestie Hotline, send us a voice note in our instagram DMs with your dilemma! Gem & Revz x See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We all know her, maybe we are her, the one who consistently has their sh*t together, the one who can always swing the positive angle, bring the vibes and show up. What happens when she is not coping. Well, "She", is Revz, and Gem was on to it. How do we support someone who is terrible at asking for and receiving help and how do we let go of wanting our girlfriends to read our minds and just ask fo...

Would it be Tuesday if there wasn’t period cups, mochas and chat about pulling out? (If you asked “of what?” you’ve got the wrong podcast). Today we do NOT have time for taking all the goddamn responsibilities for birth control for our whole damn lives. Like, when does it end? With a vasectomy, that’s when! It makes us rage, RAGE like a full-moon wolf in heat! Aaaaanyway…  what is the ideal age ga...

This week's bestie caller has a Grandparent problem to do with a pile of plastic junk and ungrateful little brats. If you want to "phone" the Bestie Hotline, send us a voice note in our instagram DMs with your dilemma! Gem & Revz x See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today we're embarking on an exposé of true journalism into the dark web conspiracy that is swooping magpies; more specifically how to beat them, so we don't have to hide under a slide at the park. Somehow, this takes us to weird things that are called out during sex, and yeah, that's a natural segue for us - you're the weird one. Gem is behind on booking her post-lockdown appointments, but Revz is...

This week's caller has a sticky problem and it always happens at bath time... If you want to "phone" the Bestie Hotline, send us a voice note in our instagram DMs with your dilemma! Gem & Revz x See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Do you play with your kids? Like actually get down on the ground and play? Cos we're really not sure we have it in us, and is that ok? Or do we suck? And if partners had asked us before becoming parents if we would want to play with our kids , surely it would have been a resounding "OF COURSE!" This deep, PhD leads us to wondering what other things you just can't know about someone before you emba...

Happy Friday, it's another BESTIE HOTLINE . Every week, we're hashing out your problems, pain-points, dilemmas and juicy gossip in an old-fashioned gas bag. Today, our Anonymous Dear Listener has phoned in with a major bug-bear; her Hubs went on holiday one time and now thinks parenting is super chill and easy. "WHAT A NICE DAY WE'VE HAD" the asshole said. Not ok. We discuss. - If you want to "pho...

Sometimes you just wanna shake shit up, but do not do it with your coffee order, just ask Gem. And oh shocker, we're back on the topic of Mochas. When will it end? When we all hold hands and accept it as a real coffee, says Gemma. Revz is drowning in life admin and it's killing her vibe. Worst time ever for her accountant to break up with her, but here we are. Gem discusses a potential vow renewal...

What's this? A Friday episode? That's right DLs, it's a two-ep-a-week thing now, with our new "service" that no one asked for... BESTIE HOTLINE . Every week, we're hashing out your problems, pain-points, dilemmas and juicy gossip in an old-fashioned gas bag. Today, our Anonymous Dear Listener has a tricky one; her Bestie has totally stated ghosting her on instagram. Warning: we may, in true We Don...

What’s better? A hot coffee milkshake or cheap, wet almond milk? DISCUSS! In other very important dissertation, we hash out what exactly constitutes breakfast food, and are Twisties for breakky really a crime when in Locky D (that’s Aussie for Lockdown for our international DLs). Then speaking of food, it’s back - that shifty, slimy body image monster. It’s poking its head up again in what feels l...

So Billie Eilish dropped an album and naturally Gem has a 12 step process. The results are mixed but she’s not giving up. Classic workaholic (but don’t say that word around her). We try and work out the collective noun for the most popular animal from last week’s game, and we go deeper into our psyches with an OFFICAL enneagram test session. Turns out we’re definitely in a simulation, so there’s t...

You heard right, we're brimming with LDE, Lock Down Energy . We're pretty sure we're stuck here forever, so can we be shit at parenting and shit at our jobs forever? We think not. Don't even think a Quarter is acceptable tbh , but here we are. Gem is now Russian, deal with it. We perform a major thought experiment in the woods. and we want you to come along with us... like, in your mind, obvz. Fin...

Thanks to our mates at Wotif , we are dreaming, reminiscing and hatching plans for travel, to take us out of reality and into dreamland. We talk travel stories, future dream lists and hacks for travelling with kids, lovers and girlfriends! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Another sunny day in Solitary Confinement. But thanks to the Singles-Bubble, Gem and Revzy are reunited IRL. Revz is wondering if she's the only one who isn't playing Grown Ups with her money and Gem is taking on the role of Mum, a.k.a Sensible Sandy , a.k.a Sir. Buzz Killington . But she's unfortunately, probably right on this one. Then, we get quite the rage on over the crazy divisiveness going...

You guys, Gem is going grey. Proper grey. Probs because her daycare just up and shut down. Lucky we’re in perpetual, unending lockdown… 🥴 Today we’re just wondering, are we harder on our girls than our boys? I mean, we definitely are, but is that normal? We discuss how we don’t want to make weird-ass men out of our boys, but omg, we just want to marry them a little bit. But for real, we want to b...

Maybe it's Sydney Lockdown, but this week we get a bit real. Or is it reel . People keep asking Revz if Gem is really as perfect as her instagram grid and frankly, its opened a can of self-conscious, 2021, macro worms. Is it uncool to appear cool on the gram these days? Or is there a feed for every feel? If you love connecting through socials online, do you need to have a "brand" or can you just s...

Fuck you Lockdown, seriously, fuck you . We at Whinge FM really want you to get in your cab and get outta here, cos now "Home Schooling" has to happen and there's a looming birthday. So really, what is there to do but cry, shop (online) and pour yourself a hefty #skimflatwine and go for your "exercise". We somehow get really macro reminiscing on our 90s music and please, someone stop the singing....

LIVE from Sydney Lockdown, we are remote recording from under blankets to bring you more basic drivel this week. Kicking off with what everyone is talking about (19 minutes, 58 seconds mean anything to you?) #netflixandchill #donkeyschlong. As well as some retail recon the DLs have done re: tooth fairy and we're HORRIFIED. Speaking of terrifying keepsakes, we discuss breastmilk jewellery and hey,...

ROCK UPDATE! Where is that goddamn engagement ring, cos, we're still feeling queasy. Now, what is the going rate for a manky old tooth these days, and how does it all work with the Tooth Fairy? Cos it seems there's a few different stories out there, and we need there to be one. So today, we get into a much requested topic which is - What do you wish you had known about birth before you did the dam...

Oh hey Tuesday! Can we talk about hair maintenance (or lack there of), and why Revz ever thought it was a good idea to add *go blonde* to her busy life? And then, take a breath, we get into the old g r a t i t u d e chestnut... and we've changed our tune since Ep 12 , or have we? We're a bundle of contradictions on this one. This week, Gem is running on fumes, cos she has #nightcreepers and she's...