Video Death Loop

It’s the night shift again. It’s time for you to close up. It was a busy day at your Arby’s franchise, but you feel like the service you gave was at least worth a “3” on the Customer Satisfaction Survey. Heck, maybe it was even a “4”! You’re satisfied. Still, the stress of the day… Read more S5:E8 – Fushigi Ball Commercial

The Sandwich Artist beckons. Come. Enter the lair of magic and protein. Become filled with wonder about the amount of carbs and vegetable-based products in this laboratory of food. You are welcomed here. You and your hunger. We know why you have arrived in this nexus of hunger and salvation. It was not by choice.… Read more S5:E7 – Subway’s Uncharted 3 TV Promo

Matthew McConaughey! A man of action! Romance! The movies! He’s been in it all! But has he been in the Sahara? Yes, actually. He has been, in a movie no one can actually remember seeing but everyone thinks was kind of alright! Was he finding gold? Yeah, sure, maybe. Was he doing the action? All… Read more S5:E6 – Sahara Movie Trailer

What the hell is Cola? We don’t know! We don’t have access to the internet in this business room. It’s against corporate policy! We have a white board, some markers that are half dry and the most powerful tool we have at our disposal: Our minds! Now, let’s make some circles (use the green markers)… Read more S5:E5 – I Wanna Shasta 1983 Vintage Commercial

You gotta make that content! Everyone’s doing it these days! If you don’t have a personal brand, you might as well be Personally Damned ™! You can hear this and more on my self-help audio cassette “Jumping Ropes Through Life”, which has been used by many successful people! Take virtual youtuber Korone Inugami, for instance!… Read more S5:E4 – 130万人いくま...

Welcome to the meeting. Come inside. How you vibing? You vibing good. Well, worry not. While you’re  hear inside the sauna, you can let all your worries go away. Rest your head. Let your stress melt away. Listen to the music of Peter Gabriel play on the radio nearby. We only have one song, and… Read more S5:E3 – Peter Gabriel “Steam” Music Video

It’s a Snow Day! A day of snow! Away from your school and all your fears! Nicklelodeon Movies knows what all the kids wants and they’re going to give it to you in spades (Get it? Spades? Because you need to use shovels for snow and– Okay, I’ll stop. I promise I’ll stop. Spades though!!–) That… Read more S5:E2 – “Snow Day” Trailer

It’s Topps day. Your co-worker is getting the latest uncut set of Topps Football 1989 Cards for the last season. Everyone is excited to find their team’s players name and look at the stats on the back of their known players on the team. Nothing else can be revealed, for if it is, you were… Read more S5:E1 – 1-900-CRY TV Commercial

Barney! Would you get a load of this? I’m trying to invent a new form of food to help us wake up and start the day! You know how I invented day and night cycles, right? Yeah, Barnes, you know it! Well, I put a bunch of salt, rice and sugar together with a bunch… Read more S4:E41 – Fruity Pebbles/Cocoa Pebbles Christmas Commercial

Hey guys, it’s Uno! The game you play with people you barely know and only want to know slightly more about them by the end! Do they draw more cards? Can you make them skip their turn? Whatever! It’s Uno! Noone remembers who even won by the end! Yeah, we’ll have it done by next… Read more S4:40 – Uno PS1 Game Opening Movie.avi

Enter into the dojo of one Chop Chop Master Onion. He’s an onion. Not a wild onion that you may find in your yard or that John cannot find for the life of him, but a real onion. The type you’d put on your pizza or a calzon and sell as a promotional pizza from a… Read more S4:E39 – “Parappa The Rapper Remastered – Chop Chop Master Onion”

This trash just keeps piling up!! What’s a person with an open top convertible to do other than just throw it on the side of the road and give the middle finger to the climate as a whole? That’s just what this Tennessee Trash PSA does and it does it with the most battle damaged car… Read more S4:E38 – Original 1976 Tennessee Trash PSA

Hey Ghosts! Are you a ghost? If you’re a ghost you have to say “Booooo!” At least that’s what this Applesauce container says. It’s really weird that I’m following what an applesauce container says, but that’s because it’s 4 PM and I’m waiting for the reruns of Knight Rider to  hit my TV Screen after… Read more S4:E37 – Knight Rider...

You get knocked down, but will you ever get back up again? It’s a question posed by Chumbawamba in the 90s and we embraced it in every commercial sense. That’s why when you have a game made by an American company detailing soccer in low polygons with a freakish latex-laden bird mascot, you need something to cover… Read more S4:E36 – World Cup 98 (PS1) – Intro

Sometimes you just need to watch a mashup video that hastily combines two properties to celebrate an album that is all about merging media proprieties. Like this fan video of Neil Circierega’s mashup of Queen and the Spongebob Squarepants theme. And that’s fine! What are people in the future going to say about it though?… Read more S4:E35 – Spongerock Music Video

What the heck is a Rax? We don’t have one where we live, but John (may) have been to one before. It’s got speed lines to tell you it’s fast! And people apparently explode when you say the slogan for their short time pita wrap thing. Terrifyingly, at that! Can you get some Rax and… Read more S4:E34 – Rax Roast Beef Commercial

Come to Cabot Cove! Please! We need people to move in! Come see our nature and outdoors  and fresh air and trees!  We have lots of available, affordable housing for you to move into!  And we have Angela Lansbury, the star of Murder, She Wrote! Just ignore the fact that the last three people who… Read more S4:E33 – “Murder, She Wrote” Seasons 6-7 Theme

It’s an emergency Halloween slumber party and the nearest place is Walgreens. They don’t have any of their 4 for $10 Coca-Cola Products or pizzas, but they do have a copy some Quaker Oats Cereal and a copy of Bedazzled starring Brendan Frasier in the $1 bin ready for watching. It’s just as good right?… Read more S4:E32 – Walgreens Halloween Commercial

Wait, you’re the 3 Ninjas of Nebraska? No way! We’re the Iowa 3 Ninjas! Fancy seeing you guys all here! So, how’s grandpa? Still skipping out on family to run a fake syndicate of ninja kids for the 90s? Same here! We got so much in common! Hey, you should come with us to Mega… Read more S4:E31 – 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain Trailer

Diet Coke is a magic drink that makes America go around. Without it, we’d be twenty years behind the times, unable to be productive in business meetings or pretend like we’re working at the gym and watching ourselves. But did you know that there’s a secret reason why Diet Coke became so popular and it’s… Read more S4:E30 – Diet Coke Melting Football Players Comm...

You say your sick and you need to stay home from school today, but everyone knows what you’re really after. It’s time to enjoy that treat denied to us in our youth: Unlimited soup and crackers, a warm blanket, the chance to play Final Fantasy 8 and finish it before your friends and watch a… Read more S4:E29 – “The Price is Right” 26th Year Season Opening

It’s DragonCon 2006. You are thankful you chose to the timejump into 2020 and get that much needed relaxation before, but the 2020 you is ready for 2006. Armed with your extra knowledge of household cleaners and phone scripts, you can’t really use this in terms of your enjoyment of the convention, but you feel… Read more S4:E28 – Dragon*Con 2006 TV Commercial

I have never been so happy as the people in soap commercials. Feeling good? Sure. Feeling relaxed? Maybe! But never to the point of the freak out psycho energy that they display in using a single bar of a corporate branded soap. What’s in it? What’s the secret? Is it illegal? Does it need to… Read more S4:E27 – Zest Soap Commercial

Garfield likes a lot of food. This is considered one of his many good traits that he has and makes him a timeless classic. He will sell you all of the food in the word too. Fruit Snacks, Cereal, Breakfast Bars in Embassy Suites, all of it. Even Ravioili for some reason! All but the lone and… Read more S4:E26 – Garfield Ravioli Commercial

It’s cursed! Or mysterious! I don’t know, the History Channel claims both when it comes to The Curse of Oak Island but they’re definitely leaning hard into the “Curse” portion of the show. We aren’t so sure! There’s a big tunnel and some talk about the Templars and there’s a school bus shot for what appears… Read more S4:E25 – “The...