Video Death Loop

Wake Up! There’s a complete breakfast to be had! You must consume it now. Make it uncomplete! Nabisco Brands depends on you for the profit forecast! We rented three bear suits and one of them will not give theirs back! We hired him on as staff as a barter for getting the suit and our… Read more S7:E14 – Teddy Grahams Breakfast Bears Cereal Commercial

You know the song. It’s stuck in your head now. We don’t need to do anything else to describe it. Babies come out of the womb and their first immediate sounds are dun dun dun dun dun in rapid succession. That’s the kind of guy Funky D the DJ King is. Oh, wait. You said… Read more S7:E13 – Darude – Sandstorm

“What a lovely place you have!” your guests says as they sip the cup of tea you provided. You glance around nervously. Yes, it’s nice. You bought it. You know it. You just don’t know if it could be… Inside enough. The walls are all there as is the roof. But the windows are a… Read more S7:E12 – Giant Swan Stuffed Animal Toy with Long Neck

The lullaby plays again. The occurrence begins again. It’s loop three. You’re back in your younger self. This time, you memorized all the great steps. The lotto numbers, the grunge era, the beanie baby fad. It’s all there in your head. You simply need to tell someone and convince them that this time around you… Read more S7:E11 – Puffalumps Toy Commercial

The house stands victorious. It shares its walls with living things, but it is not owned by those constricted by the mortality of flesh. It is in control and the people that temporarily reside in its belly know it. They cannot place things normally. Where the thing goes, goes. To move it or attempt to… Read more S7:E10 – GMod map preview: gm_8800blr

Good News, Jamiroquai ! You don’t have to pay taxes ever again! We’ll get the the hat squad to do it for you! As long as they don’t take the hat off, you’re in the clear. You want to make the hat your thing? It’s your thing, isn’t it? We don’t have to ask. We… Read more S7:E9 – Jamiroquai – Virtual Insanity Music Video

Bush’s Baked Beans has a secret recipe but they’re happy to show you the spices just like other secret brands. But they’re all too sweet! Why are they so sweet?! So baked?! So homestyle? Anyway, none of them are going on the toast. Or all of them. We’re going to find the right bean eventually.… Read more S7:E8 – Bush’s Baked Beans Commercial

Encase your pocky in a glass. Stick it in the freezer. Wait however long you wait for things to get cold. Open the freezer. Eat the pocky. Repeat. Forever. Submit to the Mikugeddon. The Mikudon. The Wooly Mikueth. Just don’t enter the RESTRICTED ACCESS area. John Hurst is your host this week and he can… Read more S7:E7 – Hatsune Miku Frozen Pocky Commercial

The orchestra is tuning up. They’re ready. They watch the artist intently, waiting for the first stroke. A ellipses. A circle? A perfect circle? Not for this. We only need two half circles here. Maybe a C. Slightly off. Shaded with a sheen. Glorious. The Face on Mars looks on intently, but innocently. Will the… Read more S7:E6 – Sony Playstation 3 Intro

Get a bunch of mascots. Make them play the wrong sport for a while. Kill some time. Noone is missing anything. Get your beer. Catch up with an old friend at the game. Pour that extra nacho cheese on. Look, that mascot fell down. Isn’t that silly? Okay, it’s only a little silly. They’re trying… Read more S7:E5 – Minor league baseball mascots play basketball

The Weekly World News! It was the most interesting thing on the checkout counter for the brief time you’re up there! You eyes would briefly look at that instead of the deal on Buy 2, Get 1 Snickers and you would learn a thing or two about absolutely nothing. Then the cashier would get your… Read more S7:E4 – “1985 Weekly World News” Commercial

How much money would it take to win one thousand dollars from a 1-900 number? How much of your friends money? Can they rap? Can you rap? Doesn’t matter. Bad rap or no, you still have money to give! Or your parents money! Money that you could use to buy Land or Time and your… Read more S7:E3 – Be A Star Hotline Commercial

What would you do if you’ve been Gadgeted? Would you change the world? Would you fly across the sky, free like an eagle? Would you fix the worlds problems with a random assortment of tools? Or would you sink into a level of debauchery that no person on this planet has seen before, horrifying even… Read more S7:E2 – Inspector Gadget Movie Trailer

It’s a rather good time for you to review your internet culture. Like a yearbook, it’s good to fondly reminisce about whatever you were into. Like rose tinted glasses and Quiznos Subs and flash animation. You smile as you turn the page. Where did the time go? You shake your head and laugh. It went… Read more S7:E1 – Quiznos “We Love the Subs” Ad

It’s that time of year ago! The time of year where the Jones’ turn on their holiday lights and annoy the crap out of the rest of the neighborhood with that there role playing game music synchronized. They don’t even feel the reason for the season, which is straight capitalism! They have to apply nostalgia… Read more S6:E45 – Final Fantasy with Christmas Lights

You can tell us a story anyway you like. You can weave you tale and flourish it with the most fantastic language. You can win prize after prize. But we bet none of it equals the saga that is “Horse kicks tree, farts on dog then runs away.” Not even Hemmingway would dare approach such… Read more S6:E44 – Horse kicks tree, farts on dogs then runs away

Vine was the perfect place to go to watch videos of people falling stairs. That’s why they had to get rid of it. That’s why we’re stuck in the social media migration we’re in now. If we had Vine still none of us would be dealing with that. We’d just be dealing with the sheer… Read more S6:E43 – Guy Falling Down Stairs Vine

You’re working for the Middle State Anime Convention Trading Company. You got a fresh supply of Love Hina‘s taken from Minnesota you’re sending downstream to St. Louis and you get a 10% bonus if it’s out before the imports start making their way to the dockside dealer halls. Life is hard, but it has its… Read more S6:E42 – Love Hina Opening

It’s the post Thanksgiving gathering with your friends from high school. You’re tired of the family that made you leave the town so it’s time to leave them again and see the real reason why you return. That gang’s all here. You smile and grab a Brand Beer from the Brand Cooler. Life is good.… Read more S6:E41 – Yeah Yeah Yeahs – “Maps” Music Vi...

Did you know that Staples has a new logo? Like, three years ago? You didn’t. Don’t lie. I didn’t. I driven by a staples every day this entire time and haven’t noticed it. Because it’s a Staples. But these people did. And clapped. Probably because it’s their job. Probably because they’re fans. We may never… Read more S6:E40 – Staples Logo Unveil...

Blow the foghorn, the meat bicycle is here! The Claymore Man comes a-wieldin and to that we’ll have a good eatin’! You can make your own or wait for him to come swinging! Either way, it is a delight and horror to children at the same time and that’s all we really want out of… Read more S6:E39 – “Meat Bicycle” TV Spot

Ah, yes. BloodRayne! The franchise that, much like a vampire, refuses to die. Every once in a while a new game comes out. And it’s alright! Enough to enjoy over a weekend of nothing else to do. But that’s it. Like a vampire, you forget they’re there until it’s too late. Then bam! Another game… Read more S6:E38 – “BloodRayne 2” MTV2 Video Mods

Ain’t no better way to kill off your fast food mascot than to leave him eventually discarded by the side of the road. All the mitt wanted was a lite bit of fun! The wind had other plans! He is no longer within the warm embrace of Arby’s, who would later have the meats. But… Read more S6:E37 – The Talking Oven Mitt Goes for a Ride

Atlantis! City Underwater! Source of Legends! Games you played on every system from the Atari 2600 to…. Whatever PS5 game is involving it right now. Maybe a Last of Us. Heck if I know. But it’s there and we seek to prove it! … By getting distracted by philosophers philosophizing and robes. We’ll solve the… Read more S6:E36 – Atlantis for Atari 2600 Commercial

Gosh, things are just… TOO. DARN. HOT. I can’t grab all these hot things! Good thing I have the new Hot Hands glove(s) to stop my hands from becoming hot! I no longer need to worry. The power of heat will never touch my cold, blood-filled hands ever again. We will be safe and protected… Read more S6:E35 – Hot Hands Gloves