Video Death Loop

Man, those Brendan Fraser Mummy movies were pretty good, huh? Surely there’s no increasingly less relevant series of spin-offs that could detract from their inherent quality. Right? What about a prequel starring Dwayne Johnson as a goofy CG monster? What about a Godsmack music video based on the Dwayne Johnson prequel only briefly featuring pre-recorded… Read more S2:E62 – Godsma...

Close up, Danny DeVito. He is crying. Slowly the camera zooms in on a single pore. A tear, now massive at such a small focus, erupts into the scene, leaving a smeary, moistened trail. Now the camera zooms back and the wet epidermis is the ocean, home to a host of aquatic Danny DeVitos which… Read more S2:E61 – POKÉMON Detective Pikachu Trailer

There’s a lot of John Cena media out there. Some of it is what passes for good in this wretched year of 2018. Some of it…less so. This commercial is the latter. Three John Cenas engage in a dangerously patriotic Backstreet Boys pantomime to push liquor and we are both aghast and mesmerized. If you… Read more S2:E60 – John Cena Presents: SKYY Blue

When you’ve got 15 seconds of precious airtime to fill but a total of four seconds of actual content, you do what you have to do. The Head On people decided to loop those precious four seconds over and over, creating one of the most weirdly memorable but understandably irritating commercials of the mid-2000s. We… Read more S2:E59 – Head On Commercial

Aren’t apps terrible? What if you could get a haircut without an app? That’s just the kind of sexy place Sport Clips is. Labor practices aside, they’re almost certainly better than…the alternative. We watched this Sports Clips commercial on loop this week. Get in line! Online! In line! LINE John Hurst hosts this weeks and… Read more S2:E58 – Sport Clips Commerci...

Weeeeelllll Matlock may just be a poor country lawyer, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like money. In fact, it may be his favorite thing. He’s never going to get ahead in life if he keeps taking cases on the barter system though. Try as you might, you’re never going to make it by accepting… Read more S2:E57 – Matlock TV Opening

When it comes to devices that you talk exclusively out of the side of, the Nokia N-Gage was in a class of its own. If you deep fried one and placed it beside a chalupa, you would probably take at least a bite before regretting it immediately. If you had more than one game, you… Read more S2:E56 – Nokia N-Gage Commercial

Welcome to the Facility, try our lovely lettuce! Now that James Bond has that one guy in it, Goldeneye is positively a classic. Maybe not as classic as the circle-laden Dr. No, but still, you know, pretty classic. We watched the Goldeneye opening theme on loop this week! Join us in Q’s lab and watch… Read more S2:E55 – Goldeneye Opening

Val Venis was a wrestler that was deeply understood. Some might think that Val Venis was nothing more than a lover boy, getting his kicks on the road. But, oh no, Val Venis had so much more going on than that. A soothing tub full of calamine lotion is just the surface of the deep… Read more S2:E54 – Val Venis Wrestling Intro

Is it possible to debate your way into love? Can you start with a machete and end with peace? Is gravy truly the lubrication of society? Machete Clan attempts to answer these questions during their thoughtful anthem On the Rark. We join in by watching it on loop. Check out Machete Clan on iTunes and… Read more S2:E53 – On the Rark Music Video

Chew the Whopper. Know which each bite there is endless suffering.  Swallow the Whopper. A soul is destroyed. This is the triple Whopper. You are a part of this. This commercial was watched. Please let it enter you. John Hurst hosts and rings the bell. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and builds the room. Download Link Write… Read more S2:E52 – Eat Like Snake Burger King Commercial

Welcome to Chicago, Balki! Here we’ve got Cubs games, subways and a 3/4 size Statue of Liberty beyond the Northwest Passage? Perfect Strangers was a quintessential 80s sitcom featuring fish-out-of-water Myposian Balki Bartokomous and his put upon cousin, Larry. Something. Larry Something. Who cares. This week we watched its opening theme song on loop for… Read more S2:E51 – Perfe...

Living under the long shadow of the Sunsphere, we pay homage daily to its glittering façade. Those who do not risk incurring the wroth of the Firemen, those most in thrall to its shining, fiery ways. Long, long is the arm of the 1982 World’s Fair and we may find freedom only in the cracks… Read more S2:E50 – The 1982 World’s Fair Commercial

Far before the terrible alcohol-focused decision making of 2012, the good people at the Gillette corporation launched into the world a commercial. For a women’s razor. That got an unloved Bananarama song some radio airplay. Actually, the commercial may have used a previous version of the song. No, not that version, the other one. The… Read more S2:E49 – Venus Gillette Razor Comme...

If there was some metaphysical trend line for Brady familiarity, like some glittering string of yarn laid across a topographical map of the twentieth century whose hills and valleys represented the whole of Brady gnosis, surely the peaks would rise above the 1970s and their temporal twin, the 1990s. Atop those lofty spires, the Bradys… Read more S2:E48 – The Brady Bunch TV Opening

Hello. I am Daisy. And if we all look deep within us, aren’t we all Daisy? Aren’t we all all just far away princesses in a desert land, waiting for another taste of a big break after the 15 minutes faded away in portable monochromatic glory? Sure, we sometimes get included in their SPORTS and their… Read more S2:E47 – DAISY IS IN SUPER SMASH BROS!!!!!

In many ways The Legend of Zelda cartoon is inevitable. Just like certain novelty bongs and print-on-demand t-shirts, this feels like it was spun into life by some algorithm skimming popular topics and combining them to see what worked. At least we didn’t have to wake up early to watch it every morning, though. We… Read more S2:E46 – The Legend of Zelda Cartoon Opening

Frasier ran for an amazing eleven seasons on broadcast television, exploring the future (or past!) of the titular hero and Cheers ensemble member. Amazingly, at no point did Frasier ever rip his chest open to show you his beating human heart. To right that wrong, we watched one of the many Frasier ending sequences for… Read more S2:E45 – Frasier Ending Theme

This puppy is happy! And silent! And getting a haircut! It’s…kind of creepy, really. Let’s drink some cheap wine and forget. This week we watched Cute Puppy, a video on YouTube that has 3 views. John Hurst hosts and tries to de-stress. Aaron Littleton co-hosts and has a crisis. Download Link Write to us at… Read more S2:E44 – Cute Puppy

It’s our two year anniversary, so we decided to watch our favorite television show themes as a treat to ourselves! Also: we briefly recount the plots of Star Trek II and III. I dunno! You can watch the Mystery Science Theater 3000 theme here! You can check out the Top Gear theme here! Aaron Littleton… Read more S2:E43 – MST3K / Top Gear TV Openings

DOOM is a video game that really, really doesn’t want you to look around. 30 seconds par for its first level? It’s basically a digital “No Loitering” sign. Speedrunner Panter decided to put that to shame with the world record 9 second run of DOOM’s E1M1 “Hangar” level. Catch the video here. John Hurst hosts… Read more S2:E42 – DOOM E1M1 Speedru...

When the cubicle walls seem like a towering oceanfront fortress and the copy machine a glimmering treasure of plunder, one might begin to wonder if there is a viking buried deep inside oneself. One may long for the freedom of the sea and the roar of battle, but when the true histories are read, one… Read more S2:E41 – The Office TV Opening

We are not immune to the siren call of E3. Traffic, there for the taking and desperately needed, is locked only behind one’s ability to produce proper SEO-focused content to rise to the top of the Google search results. As such, behold: everything you need to know about The Elder Scrolls VI teaser trailer. We… Read more S2:E40 – The Elder Scrolls VI Teaser

Some years ago, noted man Nick Divers posted this video to Instagram and Tumblr and marginally increased the value of this communications medium known as the internet. Featuring a wayward burger plastered to a rain slick window while Hoku’s sugary pop jam “Perfect Day” blasts in the background, the video invites all who view it… Read more S2:E39 – On This Perfect Burg...

I’m sure…I’m sure the Mathnasium advertising department meant well. I’m sure someone very intelligent thought these animated characters would help kids connect with math. I’m sure, somewhere along the pipe, the designs were created by someone who knew a thing or two about art and approved by someone who only had the best of intentions… Read more S2:E38 – M...