Versions of Ourselves

Holding people accountable for disrespect, dishonesty, or disruptive behavior has nothing to do with skin color. Racism exists, but it’s not the answer for everything that goes wrong. Assess people by what they do, not what they are, and stop excusing behavior that should be addressed.

This episode breaks down how emotional abusers distort reality through gaslighting and blame shifting. When someone keeps insisting things didn’t happen the way you remember, it can make you question your own memory and judgment. We cover common manipulation patterns, how they get you to second-guess yourself, and how to stop engaging in those cycles.

Emotional abuse isn't always obvious. It can look like a pattern of criticism, intimidation, manipulation, unpredictable outbursts, and blame-shifting. In this video, we discuss what emotional abuse is and the common signs to be aware of. Relationships aren't perfect, but emotional torment should never be normalized. If this video resonates with you, please consider sharing it with someone...

Family doesn’t exempt anyone from accountability, and it doesn’t make harmful behavior okay. In this episode, we talk about why blind loyalty to relatives can lead to tolerating behavior you’d never accept from anyone else, and why so many people end up excusing things they should be setting boundaries around. This is episode 5 of Editing Reality, a series about the excuses we make for disrespect,...

Some of you are committed to excusing disrespect simply because someone falls under the title of "friend." In this episode, we're talking about toxic friendships, manipulation, boundaries, and why history with someone doesn't automatically justify keeping them in your life. This is episode 4 of Editing Reality — a series about the excuses we make for disrespect, inconsistency, an...

Some of you are working harder to defend a man than he's ever worked to treat you well. We're talking about the pattern of defending men who are emotionally unavailable and treat you poorly, and how that leads you to accept more than you should. This is episode 3 of Editing Reality — a series about the excuses we make for disrespect, inconsistency, and people who repeatedly show us exactly...

We're breaking down why you keep excusing actions that don't match the reality in front of you, and how attachment to potential keeps you stuck in the same cycle. This is episode 2 of Editing Reality — a series about the excuses we make for disrespect, inconsistency, and people who repeatedly show us exactly who they are. After a certain point, “trying to understand” becomes avoiding the truth.

Some people aren't misunderstood. You're just bending over backwards to explain their behavior away. This is episode 1 of Editing Reality — a series about the excuses we make for disrespect, inconsistency, and people who repeatedly show us exactly who they are. After a certain point, “trying to understand” becomes avoiding the truth.

Setting boundaries doesn’t make you difficult—it means you’ve stopped tolerating what doesn’t feel right. When people push back, it’s rarely about the boundary itself; it’s about losing a dynamic that used to serve them.

What are you still holding onto that’s already over? Not the things that still have potential—but the ones that are DONE. In this episode, we’re talking about the mental loop that keeps you stuck in a past that no longer exists. Whether it’s a relationship, a career path, or a version of your life you can’t let go of—holding on doesn’t keep it alive, it keeps you trapped.

Typically, people won’t tell you that conversations with you feel like a lot of work—they’ll just gradually engage less.   In this episode, we’re talking about habits that can make conversations harder than they need to be, like interrupting, overexplaining, talking over important moments, and not fully listening.   Most of the time, it’s the small things that add up.

If they keep saying “I’m sorry” but nothing changes… you’re not being misunderstood—you’re being played. At some point, it stops being a mistake and starts being a pattern. This episode breaks down why people apologize with no intention of changing, how that cycle keeps you stuck, and what it takes to protect your peace when someone has proven they won’t. This isn’t about comfort. It’s about clari...

You’re not toxic, but you might be a bad friend. On this episode of Versions of Ourselves, we’re getting candid about behavior that isn’t talked about enough: Being an emotionally lazy friend. Not responding to texts. Never initiating plans. Showing up only when it’s convenient for you. You care about your friends, but maintaining friendships takes effort—and maybe you err on the side of being dis...

What if the real reason people get irritated or distance themselves from us is due to our own behavior? In this episode of  Versions of Ourselves , we discuss a thought process some of us were taught (or taught ourselves!): “They’re just jealous.” In this frank and honest conversation, we acknowledge that sometimes we’re not the victim… we’re the problem—which is actually great news, because it me...