V.C.'s Pieces

It's time for the Logan family origin story and boy is in something! Ultimately, one sisters jealousy over not having boyfriends leads to a lifetime of being a dick. Hop into the reverse foreshadow machine and roll your eyes in a confusing fashion with us!

We do be sailing right along with the Logan family and here is ~*~Laura's Story~*~. From the beach to the institution, read all about the most perfect girl in all of Provincetown and her creeeeepy twin, who brings the incestual spice. Just a sprinkle tho! You will have questions answered and even more questions after this one!

And Melody is off! Time for some wacky adventures while she tracks down GiNaSiMoN. All the glamour of Los Angeles in whatever year it is PLUS her "triumphant" return to Cape Cod with the daddy knowledge. Will that be enough for Melody? Or is ONE MORE surprise waiting for both her and Dear Reader? Spoiler alert, very much so.

Melody continues to bob along the sea of possible daddies while getting all riled up with cousin tingles. Along the way, she also encounters a new rest home relative, a creepy beach doll, naked mommy paintings, healing crystals, and a suspicious spy hole. Super mini bonus episode of "will he be my daddy or my boyfriend?" just tucked up in there!

It's time to set sail with a new family saga! Here we find Melody, a fiddlin' coal miner's daughter (?)who ends up predictably uprooting to Cape Cod. Gleaming cousin Cary is her only refuge from shocking secrets, new tingles, and grumpy Uncle Religion!

It's time ya'll! The Landry series comes to a close with the expected revisionist prequel! Join us as we wonder what happened to Slutty Gabrielle? How mentally ill is Gladys Tate? Whomst is naming all these properties? What did Daphne say to get the bebeh? Your questions will be answered, but rest assured you will have even more questions after!

It's time to meet Ruby's offspring, Pearl Androidias! She does not yearn and is always speaking dryly. When the plot begins to thicken, it's up to her to keep everyone from losing their mittens. But will she ever tingle?! Only time and an oily man will tell! (She do tho).

Hold on to your gators and clutch your Confederate chesticles, because WHEW! The absolute shenanigans that take place in this one will take you for a ride! What does young adulthood have in store for the Dumas twins? Spoiler alert, it's a big ol'switcheroo.

The Dumas sisters are off to fancy Creole boarding school where they encounter it all! A variety of mens, The Racisms, an immortal (?) teacher, wheelchair shenanigans, and an unsurprising lack of protection (if I can say that).

From the depths of the bayou to the dazzling Garden District, precious Ruby rides a freight train of meth through 7,000 plot points! You may think you know where it's going, and you're probably right!

In which our side conversations are way better than the book. Woof, it's real bad. Special guest appearance by The Grossest Sex! Poor Audrina. Poor us.

We go back to re-read the original standalone book and have a lot of challenging moments dealing with a lot of challenging content and wordage . . . at least there's no incest in this one? Nah, still doesn't not make it a Big Gulp. Sorry/you're welcome, and remember to never EVER use the front staircase or go into the woods alone. You can also watch this episode of our faces on YouTube!

HATED IT.

Whelp, it's time Dear Listener. It's time to answer the question "How do you make Philip Cutler worse?". I'm sorry to inform you that the answer to that is "Have him change into Uncle Feel-Up," Trust, there are not enough barf emojis or angry emoticons for what is about to occur!

Dawn wants her baby back baby back baby back baby back kid. She lives a pretty boring existence with her former brother/now husband until her former boyfriend/now brother Philip shows back up to continue being a lecherous creep. Bonus achievement unlocked: we get ourselves checked by a fictional character!

How does starry-eyed lil Dawn start at New York Summer Sessions for Singing and end up shitting herself in the "Saw" bathroom on a plantation? It's a wild ride, trust us.

Welcome to the beautiful Cutler's Cove hotel! We hope you enjoy your stay! While here, you can enjoy double the brother love, triple your dads, and get one great big ball of mysterious origin story!

In this episode, we learn who the real hill scum was the whole time! Spoiler alert, it's Tony. We also learn about the origin of the far too anthropomorphic Leigh Doll, rage about inconsistent ages, and say goodbye forever to those Tapered Tatterton Tips.

Tony Tatterton: 'memba him? What happened to that guy in the years since Heaven fled those Farthy fingers? Spoiler alert, he does NOT get less creepy with age. Buckle up and get ready to have your boundaries CROSSED Dear Listener!

Heaven and Logan are married but all is not idyllic! Heaven must face down the twin threat of Tony Tatterton's Tapered Tips and Fanna-lanna-ding-dong's slutty womb. You'll never guess what happens next! (You're pretty smart, you'll probably guess).

Heaven gets misted and filmy when she meets her maternal family in Boston - including one ~*~very sexy~*~ be-bloused antelope. We also attempt a Seth Rogan laugh for some reason!

The first book in the Casteel family series take us from The Willies to Atlanta and back again! We get to meet the entire hill scum family and learn about the ~*~coat closet~*~. Buckle up, because THAT ONE is a doozy!

The most startling thing that will be revealed in the Dollanganger sequel/prequel is that you may spend some time on Team Evil Grandmother? Lil' Olivia grows up to Steely Grayma in this story, so buckle up!

Cathy may be old and used up, but at least her children are ~*~sexy~*. Why this ol'broad go back to Foxworth Hall? Listen and find out!

Lost Podcast Sangria: Half a jar of maraschino cherries left over from ice cream sundaes (drained) 1 orange you had rolling around in your fridge (sliced) Rum Red wine (cheapo) Sprite or 7-Up Put fruit in a jar and cover with rum. Let sit in fridge for a day. In a large pitcher, combine juicy rum and bottle of red wine. Your glass should be about half fruity rum wine and half 7-Up. Enjoy?