Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey Podcast

Kelly & Tom go back to the tea emporium in their recap of  Mr. Selfridge  S2E5, but they can only podcast while riding a bus that’s pulling away. They meet the Artful Porter, suspect Eyeliner of being a Bond villain AND Judi Dench, realize that all violins look like a naked lady’s back, fall in love with Mr. Crabbe, get excited to dine at Fat Thomas’s fictional restaurant, and worry...

Kelly & Tom deliver yet another AP English-heavy recap for  Mr. Selfridge  S2E4. They declare Rose to be the Columbus, OH of people, demand more screentime for Lurch, speculate about Beatrice’s claim to immortality, find themselves fascinated by the Horny Chocolatier, identify French slut-shaming as the glue that held the British Empire together, wonder why New Gordon is 34, and...

In their recap of  Mr. Selfridge  S2E3, Kelly & Tom are shockingly won over by Mr. Grove’s gettin’ it done montage, find New Gordon’s pornography unimpressive, discuss how tigers like their afternoon tea, rejoice at Mr. Leclair’s return to retail, wonder what Pimble gets up to, express concern that Harry wants a drink, imagine Eyeliner’s various delusions of grandeur, and gaze upon T...

Kelly & Tom recover from tax season with their recap of  Mr. Selfridge  S2E2. They speculate that Miss Towler may be experiencing Goblin King-related interference, point out that New Gordon is no Charlie Chaplin, elucidate Jeremy Piven’s internal monologue, count all the horrible things that should be highlighted in a British “Empire” exhibition, suggest the Lord Loxley Award fo...

Kelly & Tom return to the wonderful world of Eyeliner in their recap of  Mr. Selfridge  S2E1. They discuss the difficulty inherent in following the PBS broadcast schedule, a superior credits sequence, the perfection that is Polly Walker, Marvilius: The Lost Hogwarts House, Mr. Crabbe’s cousin, the return of Lang, the origin of mannequins, a community theatre production of “There...

Kelly & Tom cover the five people you meet at Downton in their S4 recap wrap-up!  Among other things, they discuss Bates’ evolution into a Lifetime Original Movie, The International Brotherhood of Bangs, Ponytails & Mullets, Chekov’s refrigerator, the joys of shouting “Gilly” and “Pegglet,” the return(?) of FakePatrick, Greta and her biscuit, how Isis was presented to King George, and havi...

Kelly & Tom overcome the limitations of time and space to bring you this super-sized recap of  Downton Abbey  S4’s Christmas Special, “The London Season.” Together, they explore the most grating American accent yet, how children are reared on McG’s home planet, the many delights of Dudders, how much Rose’s ball could be improved with sideboob, Blake’s connec...

In their penultimate recap of  Downton Abbey  S4, Kelly and Tom pretty much lose their minds over the Tamworths, can’t believe Bates is plunging us into yet another murder plotline, marvel at the McG-ness of McG, compliment the Dowager on her philosophical leanings, applaud the ingenuity of Yorkshire’s nascent carnie society, lament the return of the Homely Liberal, giggle at Jack Ross...

Kelly & Tom recap  Downton Abbey  S4E7 and explore why the Dowager is dressed like an extra from Zoobilee Zoo, whether the Abbey is really just a halfway house for idiot servants, the potential success of a website called Witch Date, Daisy’s rapid transformation into Miss Havisham, exactly where a pig man’s place it (hint: it’s with the pigs), the madness and pointlessly panty-dropping hotness...

Kelly & Tom are just in love with  Downton Abbey  in this recap of S4E6.  The objects of their rekindled affection include Baxter’s infuriatingly vague past, heathenish orange juice, hating Woodrow Wilson, the elusive Gutenberg Bible, Isobel’s official return to meddling, the sexploits of Leslie “Hutch” Hutchinson, Violet Kush, kangaroo thieves, Charles Blake’s unfortunate haircut, McG being t...

Kelly & Tom wax cautiously optimistic for the rest of the season in this recap of  Downton Abbey  S4E5 as they talk refrigerators and the wacky adventures of Lord Byron. They also talk Branson’s upbringing, the proper way to mail a baby, shipping Daisy and the sewing machine, disgusting  Top Chef  fanfic, Baron Julian’s sudden recollection of everything that’s happened on the show so far, Pavl...

Kelly & Tom take on  Downton Abbey  S4E4 and try not to talk about how things were before the war, with mixed results. They permit Edith’s use of the word “whilst,” wonder where have all the babies gone, puzzle over LG’s sudden emergence as the voice of reason, dispute whether anything should be allowed to be jellied, appreciate how friggin’ racist the Crawleys ar...

Kelly & Tom finally get down to making jokes about  Downton Abbey  S4E3, and they want to be very clear that they aren’t interested in helping rapists. However, they do address Anna’s assault, try to cast  Futurama  characters in  Downton Abbey , recount a 1922 hipster conversation, speculate about Lady Raven’s subjects, decide once and for all whether Alfred is dumber than Lord Grantham, stra...

Kelly and Tom talk about the thing that happened. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Kelly & Tom recap  Downton Abbey  S4E2 and are surprised by how so little happens so conveniently in this installment.  Otherwise, they wax rhetorical about Bates’s toilet leg, how blue one needs to be to move to Belfast, Gregson’s butler Tony Shalhoub, porking in York, a documentary about Molesley’s life, the head-eating powers of the mega-cloche, the return of Daisy’s...

Rejoice, Cousins new and old! It’s time to recap  Downton Abbey  S4E1 with Kelly & Tom and reveal a new  UYDS!  theme song.  This ukulele/guitar arrangement is by Cousin Matthew Lister and he is accompanied by Cousin Nick Lanzer.  Otherwise, Kelly & Tom are beyond excited to meet the new Breakfast Club, say farewell to O’Brien’s bangs, malign the Skank Braithwaites, learn about St. Valenti...

UYDS!  favorite  Natasha Muse  joins Kelly & Tom for this special holiday recap of  Doctor Who  Series 4, Episode 7, “The Unicorn & the Wasp.”  The trio goes back in time to discover the smell of the 1920s, speculate about the origin of the record scratch, chat about hipster Christians, and wonder if Agatha Christie ever wrote a  Choose Your Own Adventure  book.  Kelly announces that she’s...

The parade ends here for Kelly & Tom as they bid a fond farewell to CBatch & the gang. Despite having  other Wannops to Wannop, they struggle to accurately identify all the soldiers in the trenches, applaud McKechnie’s inveterate weirdness, wonder if Sylvia’s a bitch because she’s constipated, lay the Groby tree to rest, and say the word “Guggums” just one more time.  All this, plus our fi...

In their penultimate recap of  Parade’s End , Kelly & Tom dive into Part 4 with relish—but not mustard.  They debate the merits of sharing one’s wife with an Egyptologist, consult Shmyahoo! Answers, point out that Sergeant Ferret is just like McG, retroactively nominate Roger Allam for all the awards, witness the making of a MacGuffin, pit Mary Culligan against Carey Mulligan, and marvel at th...

It’s Part 3 of  Parade’s End , and Kelly and Tom are really Batching it up.  They admire Sylvia’s treason dress, try to remember if CBatch got any love from the Emmys this year, brainstorm a new line of makeup, malign sailors on leave and Burning Man, reveal the most mentally stable denomination of British currency, and get completely blindsided by the Reverend Duchemin.   Kelly channels the Beast...

After serious consideration and a viewing of Part 2, Kelly and Tom declare  Parade’s End  a riveting must-see! This is due in no small part to the horrifying Groby tree, CBatch’s Oogie Boogie smile, Sylvia’s plot-driven nudity, Tom “the Stoppard” Stoppard, a very whiny Wannop, the most German-looking of German houses, Potty Chumpstache, a very Edwardian gathering of hipsters, an adorable child pet...

Kelly and Tom kick off their coverage of Parade’s End (aka “The Batch Witch Project”) in the usual fashion: critiquing Murray’s mustache! Though the jury is still out on what they think of the series after one episode, they amuse themselves by making up nicknames for Benedict Cumberbatch, declaring that Sylvia is Scarlett Johansson if Scarlett Johansson had a personality, b...

Kelly and Tom welcome the much-vaunted Dowager Cousin Jackie to  UYDS  and the trio does not disappoint with this recap of  Titanic: The Legend Goes On…  The gang spends most of the episode completely baffled by the “film,” including (but not limited to) the bargain-basement animation, much ado about a locket, the fact that no one is fazed by the sight of a mouse wearing clothes,...

In this recap of the excellent film adaptation of Maurice , Kelly and Tom learn how to pronounce “Maurice,” marvel at Hugh Grant’s trascendent good looks, figure out where to get their buttery waxed, fail to tell the difference between Thing 1 and Thing 2, spot a young Helena Bonham Carter, and are generally appreciative of Messers. Merchant and Ivory’s approach to male nud...

It’s the first-ever  UY,DS!  bonus episode! Kelly and Tom interview Titanic Historical Society member Cousin Chris on the many, MANY failings of  Titanic: BS ( historical and otherwise). Please enjoy his fascinating insights, our hilarious banter, and the reasonably passable audio quality! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.