Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey Podcast

Kelly and Tom embark on the second leg of their exciting voyage aboard James Cameron’s Titanic with lots of singing, sauciness, and silly voices.  They discuss government-funded icebergs, Rose and Sven fanfic, Bill Paxton’s haircut, weird racial epithets, Jack’s invisibility bowler, and how to be naked without really looking poor.  Kelly extols the virtues of a guilty Victor Garber, Tom affirms hi...

In this first of a three-part exploration of James Cameron’s bloated, beautiful, Oscar-winning Titanic, Kelly and Tom name themselves Cousins of the Week, critique the slipshod enforcement of Titanic’s health inspections, and wonder who brought all the free beer in steerage. They are also baffled by Leo Dicaprio’s lack of a Wisconsin accent, the exact location of the whore’...

Up Yours, Downstairs! is proud to present (at long last) the “Tom Repeats History/Fashion Backwards” standalone episode!  Herein lies a collection of fascinating facts and titillating trends from the Edwardian period, never before discussed on this podcast!  The most exciting tidbits include tales of China’s Qing Dynasty (aka 100 Years of Humiliation), the convoluted culture of c...

The second half of Julian Fellowes’ Titanic is slightly better than the first half, but not by much.  Kelly and Tom bid farewell to stink town (aka Julian Fellowes’ Titanic) and discuss why Baron Julian gave Lyndsey Marshal the O’Brien treatment, the make-out scene guaranteed to put the spark back in any marriage, and whether there was any religious diversity among the survivors...

Kelly & Tom are vastly disappointed by the first half of Julian Fellowes’ Titanic miniseries, but that doesn’t mean there’s no fun to be had.  Come along on a fantastic voyage where stops include the worst movie on IMDB, sexy Russians, and the discovery of Titanic: Blood & Steel.  Your intrepid hosts also marvel at the fact that Julian Fellowes is singlehandedly employing...

Kelly & Tom wrap up their recap of Manor House the way they started–by getting blasted with love and shouts and screams of joy, courtesy of returning guest, Natasha Muse!  Laughs are thick on the table (like unhidden talents) as the gang invents words (like Mr. Edgar), tries to place a bet with florins (like Rob), and spend a lot of time discussing Ray Liotta’s brains (like no one...

In their penultimate recap of Manor House, Kelly & Tom reveal the Edwardian equivalent of Shark Week, chat about past and present problems of race in the British empire, and exhibit a strange focus on Dayton, OH.  The residents of Manderston pull off both a Raj supper and fancy dress ball, Reggie Raj Singh is simultaneously sympathetic and off-putting, and Master Guy plays the drums.  All this...

Isis ate their Tom Repeats History/Fashion Backwards homework, so Kelly & Tom host a spicy recap of Manor House Episode 4 and get really mad about fox hunting.  Lavigne demonstrates Maggie Smith levels of awesomeness, Monsieur Dubiard remains the Chuck Norris of Manderston, and Master Guy delivers withering glares at the camera.  While Kelly makes more obscure references than usual and plans a...

Comedian and bon vivant Guy Branum joins Kelly & Tom for their recap of Manor House Episode 3, “The Servants Revolt.” The group reveal their ideal roles both upstairs and down, recoil at the sight of Edwardian hairballs, and dish about their hopes for Downton Abbey Series 3.  Other topics include Morrison’s O’Brien-esque tendencies, the many ways that Antonia is awesome...

Kelly and Tom recap Manor House E2 and return to snarking as usual .  After they catch up on their long-neglected correspondence, Tom develops strong feelings about fox hunting while Kelly imagines a Twilight-esque love triangle with Rob and Charlie.  Meanwhile, back at Manderston, Monsieur Dubiard makes Mrs. Patmore look like Santa Claus, Mr. Edgar turns into Depressing Mr. Rogers, Lord and Lady...

Comedian (and returning guest) Natasha Muse joins Tom and Kelly as they dive into Episode One of Manor House and all the curiosity about bathroom breaks that entails.  The trio discusses the worst idea since Dance Moms, the Human Centipede of alarm clocks, Jay-Z’s inevitable production of The Music Man, and the greatest bromance of 1905. Kelly waxes nostalgic for a simpler era of reality tel...

Kelly and Tom take special guest Sam Roth on a weekend trip to get all up in the loins of Gosford Park, where they encounter a surprising amount of factory rape, a mesmerizing performance from one of the lesser Dames, and Ryan Phillipe’s coffee-scented penis.  Kelly perfects her impression of Kelly McDonald while Tom and Sam wear pajamas and braid each other’s mustaches.  The gang also discuss the...

Kelly & Tom’s final recap of Downton Abbey Series 2 is light on the Christmas, heavy on the special!  Matthew goes full emo, Isis pulls a Great Escape, Mary mines the literary canon for humor, Jinksy gets caught with his robe on, and the hall boy speaks!  Kelly & Tom wax emotional about the Cousins, try to predict what Baron Fellowes has in store for Series 3, and award this year&#82...

Kelly and Tom wish all the Cousins happy holidays in this recap of “Christmas at Downton Abbey.”  They dream of Bates roasting on an open fire, punching Thomas in the nose, Yuletide secrets that are Mary-inspired, and folks dressed up like Jack and Rose.  Everybody knows a pudding and some legal woes help to make the season bright.  And like Maggie said, many times, many ways, “What’s a week-end?”...

Kelly & Tom wrap up Downton Abbey Series 2 with a neat little mourning armband and a rollicking case of Spanish influenza.  They decry the tomfoolery of Baron Julian, propose articles for Sir Richard Carlisle’s weekly newspaper column, debate Pope-marrying etiquette, chronicle Robert’s rise to Full Grantham, and get way too excited to finally see the dim lights of Ripon.  Kelly impersonates a...

It’s business as usual in this recap of Downton Abbey S2:E7 as Kelly and Tom chat about the Edwardian equivalent of Yahoo! Answers, Sir Richard’s epigrams, Grantham Bucks, Jane’s possible alcoholism,  the Sallie Mae Shed of Failure, the zenith/nadir of Lady Mary’s bitchery, the capabilities of knickers, and Lord Grantham’s post-war hipster proclivities.  They also lam...

Kelly and Tom are joined by Boars, Gore, and Swords co-hosts Ivan Hernandez and Red Scott for the most upsetting episode of this podcast ever.  In their recap of Downton Abbey S2:E6, the gang chats about all things Canadian, Downton’s own Scrooge McDuck, the emergence of the “Jaters,” Mrs. Patmore on Hoarders, what men get up to behind the bicycle shed, and two more DA spinoffs!  Also, Ivan flips...

Kelly and Tom make plans to maintain their sanity, advise the Cousins about driving safety, and go for a spin on “Whore Mansion.”  They also speculate about William’s new mother, babies with mustaches, the probability that Matthew is the Antichrist or Darth Vader, champagne brunches, Daisy’s stress relief, the feasibility of chucking a bullet, the appropriate sound effects to accompany Mrs. Bates,...

At last, Kelly & Tom record a recap that’s not two hours long!  They still manage to discuss Downton Abbey S2:E4 in its entirety, explain last week’s Character Ceasefire SNAFU, and rewrite a number of popular songs for your amusement.  Other topics include Thomas’ futuristic sack, an attempt to delete sarcasm, Simon Pegg-leg’s cameo, the Edwardian version of the Mos Eisley cantina, Mary’s stra...

Kelly and Tom draw the inevitable Narnia comparisons in this recap of Downton Abbey S2:E3, and discuss the logistics of being a monkey’s uncle, the one and only Batman, whether or not Mr. Bates is a purity ball, Edwardian Cosmo, Double 00-Edith, the cure for Lord Grantam’s trench evy, and PBS euphamisms for sex acts.  Along the way, they encounter omnisexual handmaidens, proto-Kardashi...

In this recap of Downton Abbey S2:E2, Kelly and Tom geek out because Adebisi is following them on Twitter, come out in favor of embroidery, and suss out some really depressing facts about World War I.  Back on the farm, Edith has her most interesting plot to date, McG impersonates Napoleon, Thomas fails to kickstart the Edwardian “It Gets Better” campaign, Ethel greets all of Downton&#...

Kelly and Tom come roaring out of hiatus for Downton Abbey S2:E1 to introduce a very saucy replacement ginger, explore Kelly’s canine obsession, plant a flag for the new nation of Batesylvania, proclaim that nail-filing is the new smoking, expose Tom’s crush on silent film star Clara Bow, unexpectedly root for O’Brien, do lots of all-caps SOBBING, and discuss whether or not the D...

This recap of Downton Abbey S1:E7 is supersized, so don’t feel obligated to listen to it in one sitting.  Sam Roth of “Rigged Up” joins Kelly and Tom to brainstorm countless Downton spinoffs, dispute Mrs. Hughes’ made-up vocabulary, implement the Schlieffenplan, wonder whether Mary is older than Battlestar Galactica, critique the experimental film hidden in the episode, and cheer one of the most s...

This recap of Downton Abbey S1:E6 is accompanied by the sounds of the wild Patmore and Carson’s tardy dressing gong as Kelly and Tom consider the effects of breeding on being patronizing, McG’s scheming prowess, Julian Fellowes’ private life, how to get Batesed, Daisy’s belated self-awareness, the trouble with fairies, the difference between a crush and a concussion, and th...

Kelly and Tom dodge bullets, drop balls, and have a quaff of ale in their recap of Downton Abbey S1:E5.  They still find time to chat about Laura Linney’s smug, punchable face, how to prepare for dinner at Baron Julian Fellowes’ house, Mr. Bates versus Jesus, Cousin Isobel’s amphetamine-powered nagging, the siren song of the Downton Village flower show, Matthew and Mary’s long journey to first bas...