Unwise Girls

The Serpent's Shadow, ch. 9 to 11 Joy to the world! It's the one year anniversary episode(ish) of Unwise Girls! And hey, guess what, just as a treat to us and you? This is probably the best The Kane Chronicles have ever been!!! Join us in our bliss as we get into our new favorite slimebag, finally sympathize with elderly people, discover which wrestler won't be consigned to oblivion, praise the fa...

The Serpent's Shadow, ch. 5 to 8 As women of a diminished wisdom, we often find ourselves engaging in conversations airy and nonsensical. This week, though, we get a little more reflective on our attitudes toward this book, and decide to maybe adopt a new approach... but only after meeting a couple of auspicious campers, comparing Sadie's upward climb on our character rankings to Carter's rapid de...

The Serpent's Shadow, ch. 1 to 4 We start off positive this week with a quick review of the new Percy Jackson & the Olympians cover illustrations before our smiles are turned right upside down by the beginning of the final book in The Kane Chronicles. Listen carefully and you can hear Jacqueline's opinion on these chapters change in real time! We talk about the secret identities of local mob b...

The Throne of Fire, ch. 21 to 24 The Throne of Fire is over! What did we think of it? Well, this week on Unwise Girls, we answer that question and more as we determine whether or not books have to have endings, what the best thing for a delirious old man to call a teenager is, how many souls are acceptable to sacrifice to change the fundamental laws of reality, whether Percy Jackson really had it...

The Throne of Fire, ch. 17 to 20 What kind of hat's on your head? This week on Unwise Girls, we get into the worst things to wear to the supermarket, friendzoned hippos, Rick listening to too much Radio Free Asia, old people making young people sad, Carter's fashion faux pas, whether or not it's okay to say "shaft" in a kids book, our most anticipated Steal Your Girl scenes, and Jane's family hist...

The Throne of Fire, ch. 13 to 16 Hey! It's a podcast! This week the Unwise Girls take you through the libidinous benefits of genetic diseases, the most greasy chariot salesman, our first peek into the land of Roman gods, some busted myths about how to save a life, that feel when there's water up your nose, the distinctiveness of Carter and Sadie's voices, and the funniest tragedies to name a camel...

The Throne of Fire, ch. 9 to 12 Hey, remember how the last four chapters were pretty great? They're not as great anymore, but, like, whatever, we'll deal! It's still fun! The Unwise Girls are back at it once more, and today we talk all about the weird disconnect with Bes's caricaturized portrayal, the cartoony ascent of Set in our character rankings, redundant flashback information, uninspiring sn...

The Throne of Fire, ch. 5 to 8 The Unwise Girls return with the best Kane Chronicles chapters yet! Hell yeah! But also there's a pretty big problem in it! Oh no! Sit down and listen as we talk about The Tyson Problem, one mysterious trick to writing teenage girls as human beings, a long-awaited compelling antagonistic force, shonen-style training montages, the color of trauma, British pig varietie...

The Throne of Fire, ch. 1 to 4 Patterns emerge as the Unwise Girls decide once more to read... a book in The Kane Chronicles by Rick Riordan? I dunno, seems a bit repetitive to me, should really change up the formula. Anyway, today's discussion is on the limits of time limits, Adele's influence on British teens, Amos's quirky architecture posts, the ethics of putting penguins in a fireplace, soft...

The Red Pyramid, ch. 38 to 41 Hey, The Red Pyramid is over, Unwise Girls enthusiasts! You know what that means... it's time to talk about messy but largely adequate coming-of-age stories, dismembered dad members, strong blood, Carter's dress-up hour, French boxer shorts, Set's last minute turn to our absolute favorite, the rising threat of Apophis, and yet another refusal to engage with the idea t...

The Red Pyramid, ch. 33 to 37 Happy New Year, Riordanheads! This week, the Unwise Girls are talking about ultraviolence inflicted upon dough, Set firmly distinguishing himself as a villain, Rick somehow perfectly predicting Among Us, catgirl abundance, the problems of you and all your siblings being born in the same week, and the confusing lines between what magic is and is not divine. Come back n...

The Red Pyramid, ch. 29 to 32 In a bright and cheery Unwise Girls, we talk about how Amos suspicios, The Kane Chronicles being in conversation with Beastly, Sadie's huge talk with Geb, the possibility that Rick Riordan actually did some reading before writing this book, recycled encounters, Percy Jackson's 600 weeks on the New York Times children's bestsellers list, and the lush greens of jolly ol...

(cw: discussion of gun violence. also sorry the audio is kinda subpar in this one!! i'll try to have that fixed by next recording) The Red Pyramid, ch. 25 to 28 This week on Unwise Girls, we come in hot with an exciting announcement about someone else's podcast before getting into big brother boat privilege, the deep history of the Bass Pro Pyramid (we don't ever indulge in the horrible podcast cr...

The Red Pyramid, ch. 21 to 24 It's a real yikes one this week as the Unwise Girls talk about the famed magician and king of rock and roll Elvis Prestidigitationley, the problems with sketching out real-life locations by using stereotype and/or cultural landmarks, real gritty basketball strats, hardcore uncle possession theorycrafting, lore (real life), the Greekification of the Egyptian gods, and...

The Red Pyramid, ch. 17 to 20 It's a lean, mean episode of Unwise Girls as we cover The Red Pyramid's first truly consistently good chapters! We talk all about funny Bast (try to) eat a bird, pyramid power, globetrotting adventures, the importance of English class curtain symbolism, Dude Bro and Hella Jeff, the gentrified House of Life, and the framing device we've loved to complain about finally...

The Red Pyramid, ch. 13 to 16 Be welcomed, thots, to a brand new episode! This week, after a brief consideration for Jane's mental health, the Unwise Girls talk about the conceits of children's urban fantasy fiction, the secret origins of The Sorcerer's Apprentice, Disney's Horuscules, potential future romance arcs based on like two sentences of character interaction, and the best movies to watch...

The Red Pyramid, ch. 9 to 12 It's just under the wire this week as the Unwise Girls talk about the insecure writing and growing pains of The Red Pyramid, the shonen anime-style battle system setup, coffin dance, Gaia Online roleplaying, what happens when you're tired of being nice and just want to go magic apeshit, order vs. chaos, reverse-JKR style accidental lesbianism, and a very familiar douji...

The Red Pyramid, ch. 5 to 8 Between J*lius, his dead crocodile, the godly neighbors from hell, and generally having to deliver pages upon pages of exposition to these fucking kids, this has been a cromulent fuckcrustable of a day for Amos Kane. This week, the Unwise Girls once more have to circle back around to Rick Riordan's semi-nationalistic fascination with the idea of "Western Civilization" (...

The Red Pyramid, ch. 1 to 4 Summer camp? Greek gods? Fashy pisshorses? Shut up about all that nonsense and get on the boat, loser - it's time for our river tour of The Kane Chronicles to begin! This week, the Unwise Girls start on a whole new series, covering Rick Riordan's first Egyptian myth-based book: The Red Pyramid. We get into the struggles of having to introduce a whole new world to reader...

Percy Jackson & the Olympians retrospective The end of the year at Camp Half-Blood rolls around once more, and we're here to guide you through it every step of the way. In this episode of Unwise Girls, we give out superlatives - make sure to check your yearbook for who got the best ship, which fight ended up being declared the worst, and who ended up being nominated for Camper of the Year! Plu...

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters (2013) Hell is real and we're come back to it on today's episode of Unwise Girls. Join Jane, Jacqueline, and special guest Chiara as we drown in the wake of the Sea of Monsters movie; still, we manage to cover some actual thoughts on the movie before we're pulled down to the briny depths! How the fuck do you actually pronounce Greek-inspired things? Why are Confedera...

The Last Olympian, ch. 21 to 23 Hey, calm down, kid! Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened, y'know? Just because this is the last book in the Percy Jackson & the Olympians series doesn't mean there won't be more Unwise Girls next week... and for now, you can still enjoy us talking about dads who get off easy, the sweet vibes at the end of summer camp, some American historical...

(cw: discussion of fictional suicide and abusive father-daughter relationships throughout) The Last Olympian, ch. 18 to 20 The Unwise Girls go head to head in the most conflict-driven episode yet, and it's not just Percy and Kronos squaring off - Jacqueline and Jane are practically at each other's throats with how much they disagree about these chapters! We argue about whether or not Luke's story...

The Last Olympian, ch. 15 to 17 On this episode of Unwise Girls, we both kind of just need a hug and some hot chocolate as we hurtle towards the end of this book. On one hand, yeah, we get one of this series' most effective pieces of storytelling so far, a course in exactly how to write a story that compels you right off an emotional cliff that also doubles as a pretty darn good bit of homoerotic...

The Last Olympian, ch. 12 to 14 Sit across from me, little Unwiseling, and hear of our tale! Today, we shall travel from the lands of the past to see just where our favorite angry softboy Luke got his start, to the lands of the present where a grand negotiation is held between our war-torn tweens and the ancient Titan known as Prometheus, and all the way across to the future... of Epic Anime Battl...