unMASKing with Male Educators: Creating Emotionally Safe Classrooms & Schools for Male Students

“I’m a people pleaser. For good reasons - because I want to take care of others - and then bad reasons - because I think I am seeking love and acceptance, and so I will give beyond what I should in order to get that. At some point I start to get weary, I get overwhelmed. I start to get resentful, where I’m like, ‘okay, I’ve given a lot. Everyone, can you please back off me?’ But I don’t have the s...

“I didn’t have much support from my folks at home. I was the first one to go to high school here in the United States. It was, like, uncertainty on what my next step was. And so, going to your class during lunch time, kind of helped me forget about that and just be confident in who I am.” - Eduardo Canche, on his relationship with Ashanti Branch It’s Episode 100! And Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Br...

“I was doing really good in school, but, self-esteem, self-confidence, all that, I didn’t work on that. I worked on just schoolwork. I wasn’t focused on working on myself.” - Johnathan P. Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Johnathan P. Johnathan has known Ashanti for quite some time. As a 7th grader, Johnathan was one of the first interns at the Ever Forward Club’s Social Emotional Le...

“There are so many decisions that are to be made for students [in India] at this point in time - about their college, about which course they want to take in their high school… on how we good maintain rapport with our friend, on how to move forward with a relationship, and all the things like that… we just don’t have to jump into conclusions. We have to give things time. Everything around us is ju...

“‘How are you? How are you up here? How’s everything? Are you okay?’ I had someone ask me that one time. And I just… I broke down - because that dam that I built and built had a crack in it. And that created pressure. And it busted.” - David Silva Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by David Silva. It’s hard to pick a place to start when introducing David. He’s so much more than a welder,...

“I’m a teacher, I have two masters, I have my doctorate. My father would always call me ‘stupid stupid…’ The only good piece of advice he ever gave me was ‘you don’t have much of a brain so you might as well learn how to use your hands’… I always felt that, even though I have all these diplomas on the wall, I’m just faking it. And, some day, someone’s going to pull back the curtain.” - Dr. Tim Dap...

“If anything, you’re on a journey. And if you want to use a metaphor of a kayak in a river, don’t worry about who’s looking on the shores. It’s just you and your paddle and the water.” - Tu David Phu Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Tu David Phu. Tu is a renowned chef. You may recognize him from Bravo’s television show, “Top Chef”, or write-ups from the San Francisco Chronicle, or h...

“As a guy, I want to be able to express my emotions. I would hate for other youth or young men to feel like they can’t do that. It’s such a narrow way of being. You miss out on such a huge experience if you don’t get to talk about how you’re doing.” - Nicholas M. Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Nicholas M. As a Youth Outreach Worker, Nicholas provides 1-1 support to youth in the co...

“Public speaking has always made me very very nervous, on a neurological level. So there’s a part of me that feels safe when I’m writing because I can spend a really long time working through one sentence. And also I can make sure that it’s padded by all of the caveats…” - Jason Rogers Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Jason Rogers. Jason is an Olympic medalist in fencing and a regul...

“We all grow up with an accent. We all grow up speaking a language, an emotional language, and the longer we stay in that emotional language the harder it is to learn a new one.” - Dr. Steve Perry Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Dr. Steve Perry. Dr. Perry is an educator, bestselling author, and the Founder and Head of Schools of Capital Preparatory Schools. Using his powerful voice...

“I always want to avoid the pain as quickly as possible. But, guess what? You have half of your life - trying to get away, run away… And, when you try to work on that, you are now saying, ‘No, I’m not going to run away. I’m going to stay in my body. I’m going to be with that person I don’t want to be with, or make that war I don’t want to make. I’m going to grow consciously.’” - Samuel Trejo Aburt...

“More often than not the mask is a survival mechanism for me. It’s serving a purpose to allow me to get through this interaction, this engagement, this party, this wedding that we’re a part of… It’s just enough to get me through, so long as I have a ritual and a way to take it off when I’m around the ones that matter.” - Brandon Clift Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Brandon Clift....

“I’ve kind of worn the front of the mask so much that it’s become attached… Even when I’m with myself, like, the ability to take it off has basically been diminished… It doesn’t help that one of my titles is Captain Encouragement. ‘Wait, you’re going through depression? Wait aren’t you Captain Encouragement?’” - Nicholas Domingo Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Nicholas Domingo. Nic...

This TOTM Face to Face conversation is between Mohandas and Gabriel. Mohandas is the Ever Forward Club’s Youth Host, whom you can get to know more about in episode 83. Gabriel is Mohandas’s cousin and a high school senior. By playing the card game "Ever Forward Club: The Adventure", Mohandas and Gabriel have a chance to discuss trust, friendships, life’s challenges, and more. (2:25) Ashanti’s intr...

“In this society today, in this culture today that we live in… You have to have it all figured out before you can talk about it, or before you can speak on it. And we forget the school of life, we forget that we’re constantly learning and evolving. And so you might need to express yourself to be able to receive that feedback and get those answers and be able to move and shake…” - John Okhiulu Ever...

“It’s been a very challenging time and my way of coping with this adversity has been through humor. I think a lot of people have been using humor as a coping mechanism because it’s a hard time, and you need to be able to laugh about it or see the absurdity in it.” - Arturo Aviña Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Arturo Aviña. As a Los Angeles-based theatre teacher, Arturo found his c...

“I don’t come to education as just a teacher. I come to education as a teacher, as an administrator, as a former really bad student, as a former really good student, as a community person, as a man in a body that I identify with - but knew how hard it was to be my full self at school.” - Ashanti Branch In this special episode of Taking Off The Mask, Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch reflects on t...

“When we can look young people in the eye, and see who they are, and tell them that they matter, and show them a book, and spark their imagination, and be right there… That’s the thing. Going through the experience with them, build up their confidence… Put a battery in their back. They need that. Everybody needs that. That little bird that’s about to jump off the nest, I’m sure the little bird nee...

“Why do I want this? Why do I react like that? Why do I do this? I think that’s something that more people need to be asking themselves. I think that people need to explore themselves a bit more, understand why they do what they do.” - Mohandas D. Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Mohandas D. This week’s episode will feel a little bit different. Mohandas is a High School student, and...

“I was raised in a violent environment, so, as much as I want to be positive, it’s just satisfying to do some of that petty stuff. As much as I don’t want to, as much as I’m like, ‘I can’t- that’s ratchet- whoo wham,’ like, that’s me. That’s how I grew up... There is a lot of pressure to be a positive person.” Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Leo Mercer. As an Oakland native, Leo ha...

“For people like myself, who have a lot of privilege, I try to become aware of other people’s experiences. And then I can make a conscious choice: ‘How do I want people to experience me? What choices can I make to level the playing field?’ And the only way that that really works is when I take off my mask.” - Ray Arata Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Ray Arata. Ray is the author of...

WARNING: SUICIDAL IDEATIONS DISCUSSED “I’ve come to learn and understand that, whether it’s depression or - something more serious - dealing with suicidal thoughts or anger or just the overall emptiness with everything… That they are just parts of the human experience and human condition. I’ve definitely built compassion for myself in dealing with those things.” - Rohit Tigga Ever Forward Club’s A...

“Life is impermanent. And that doesn’t mean that we’re not important or what we contribute to life is not important. The institutions we create are not going to live forever. But the energy, the way we live - this will live on forever.” - Alfredo Mathew III Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Alfredo Mathew III. Alfredo is the co-founder of ESO Ventures, an entrepreneurial support orga...

“It literally starts when [boys] come out of the womb, before they’ve even got their language. Because they’re already being talked to by their parents… in ways that they didn’t ask for… What they’re being told, what they’re not being told, are both equally powerful.” - Andrew Reiner Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Andrew Reiner. Andrew has written about contemporary and healthy ma...

“What I’m most proud of is… I realized after my divorce that I needed some help, and so I found therapy - 11-plus years ago. So I like to share with people that I’ve been emotionally sober for 11 years. And with all sobriety you’ve got waves to ride, and sometimes the wave crashes you into a shore. [But] sometimes you ride it - and you’re in this place where you get to step onto the shore. Because...