unMASKing with Male Educators: Creating Emotionally Safe Classrooms & Schools for Male Students

“I’ve just gone through this process of realizing who I am, what I want to be interested in, and not having to really care about the inputs that other people have on things that I enjoy doing… I love to dress how the way I dress now - I don’t care if I get a look here or there. I love talking about the subject of mental health. I love being friends with people that genuinely care about me - and no...

“I think of it as simply more ‘spectrum of aliveness’…  What happens is if our spectrum of aliveness is narrow because we’re not feeling much - we feel numb, we don’t have sexual energy on tap, we don’t feel joy - it’s usually because there’s some stuff that’s bottled up in us that’s taking up bandwidth or real estate in our system.” - Shems Heartwell. Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is jo...

“It turns out the fastest way to experience resonance is through laughter… One of the things that I show in my workshops with teachers is let’s invest in moments of resonance, invest in moments of play… These games put us in a mindful state right away, in a state where we’re aware of the other person. And so right away it’s an entry point into joy, positive emotions, and awareness - and attunement...

“I can’t change the fact that I’m vulnerable and that I’m open. Like, as much as I want to act all tough and stuff and throw up more masks, I can’t. And so even if me being more sensitive and just, like, soft is preventing me from making some connections - whether they be deep connections or surface connections - it’s more important to me to be who I am than it is to change who I am for other peop...

“First time we ever had this conversation, we talked for three and a half hours. First time I heard about my uncle's life, first time I heard about the actual incident of his death, first time I’ve seen my mom cry in my entire life - really powerful moment. And that all came not from me being a hero, not from me being fine, but me just being honest… And, as a result of admitting I was not in a goo...

“When I’m careful it’s also making myself slightly smaller… The care is around approval and not upsetting anyone. When, really, the greatest contribution we can make is just being more of ourselves. Because when we do that, we’re not clenching, we’re not competing, we’re just serving and contributing.” - Louka Parry Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Louka Parry. As a learning strateg...

“I cannot be shackled by words. Whatever caused that man to believe that that was the words that he needed to use against me, I can’t stop him from believing that. But I cannot let him have power over me by making me react how he thinks I should react. That’s the freedom that I’m going to have. That’s the freedom that I’m taking back.” In this special first episode of 2022, Ever Forward Club’s Ash...

"People are like, "You are a machine." And I’m like " yeah I am ." And there’s a part of me that’s like, " oh yeah, I’m a machine. I’m a machine ." And it’s so backwards how as men we can have our egos inflated when we’re compared to non-human things. Why do I want to be a machine? I don’t want to be a machine. Machines don’t have empathy or compassion or sensitivity. Machines can’t enjoy sex. Mac...

“Keep an open mind… When people come through with advice or some good game, listen to it. Listen. You ain’t gotta do it or live by it but listen. Keep an open mind. I wish I would’ve kept an open mind when I was younger. I didn’t have no open mind; I did not care; I was on my own thing, and bumped my head so many times.” - J Meast Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by J Meast. As a rappe...

“That tough-guy veneer just melted away, and I started crying. I barely got out the words, 'Thank you.' I just felt afraid of dying; I felt afraid for my family, for my friends… But then, once I got over that masculine mask stuff, I was like, ‘Ok, I’ll take the help!’ And it allowed me to heal like crazy. It’s not been perfect, but I have had so much rich support.” Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Bran...

“I’m no longer that person that did those shameful things… … Shame… it would paralyze me sometimes from taking action, but now I bring the awareness to wait, stop, and say, ‘Hey you’re just a thought. Later. You are not my thoughts. I am not my thoughts. I am greater than that, I am worthy, I am amazing. I am bold.’ And I have to stop thinking about my fears because that’s selfish. I have to start...

“We need safe spaces in which guys can drop into that boyhood, that kicking the ball, or throwing the ball, or goofing around and roughhousing with each other or telling jokes, whatever it is… Because being in those moments and acting that way, I believe, takes us back to a boyhood element of ourselves, which at some point was beaten out of us… ‘That’s immature. What you’re doing, you can’t be doi...

“In the very early stages of the work, we name our ‘Hitman’, our violent side, our abusive side - words that describe how we become when we become abusive. And mine is ‘The Justified, Vengeful, Equalizer.’ He’s mean; he gets revenge - if you mess with me, I’m going to mess with you, I’m going to hurt you. And I get biblical… That hitman side of me has gotten me into a lot of trouble.” - Devon Gast...

“The safe route… It’s just a life without risks. Really, to me, what it sounds like is a life without pursuing..” - Chioke Allen-Alvarez Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Chioke Allen-Alvarez. Chioke is a sophomore at San Francisco State University, on a journey to find his purpose in life. He is also responsible for most of the Ever Forward Club’s social media pages, and right now h...

“Hard-working is definitely in my DNA. I learned that from my mom and my dad growing up. My dad always seemed like the hardest working guy that I knew, but that’s a double-edged sword, that’s really a double-edged sword. When I don’t want to be present, in certain situations with people, family, friends, I bury myself in work. And I guess that’s a way of hiding and running from what’s really going...

“If anything, you’re on a journey. And if you want to use a metaphor of a kayak in a river, don’t worry about who’s looking on the shores. It’s just you and your paddle and the water.” - Tu David Phu Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Tu David Phu. Tu is a renowned chef. You may recognize him from Bravo’s television show, “Top Chef”, or write-ups from the San Francisco Chronicle, or h...

“It’s never going to be perfect. That balance will never be perfect. I go back to the idea of tension and dissonance. It’s always going to kind of be this see-saw process. But, you know, that’s just life. That’s how I think life is.” - Jonathan Santiago Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Jonathan Santiago. Jonathan is a former sports journalist turned content marketer, and in 2016 he...

“We have to get over the idea that every problem can be fixed… ‘If there’s no logical solution, then is it worth thinking about?’ The answer is yeah, absolutely. There are so many problems in life that we’re never going to solve, but we should still think about them and talk about them.” - Tim Mousseau Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Tim Mousseau. As a survivor of sexual violence,...

“We’re just trying to be able to support and cultivate the strongest community that we can, especially of our loved ones - All that conditioning, where it’s like, we got to do it by ourselves? Nah. ‘You want to go farther, go together. If you want to go fast, go alone.’ But fast is never the right decision. I don’t think it’s ever the right decision.” - George Hofstetter Ever Forward Club’s Ashant...

“I used to approach life with this mindset, this mentality, that I’m trying to get to this one end goal. I’m trying to get to this final destination - of where I want to be able to make a change in this world and do all these things... I’m willing to take on some pain right now so I can see fruits in the future - which is true, but the danger of that mindset is you don’t live in the moment and you...

“This is about willingness. If you’re willing to share what’s happening in your life, everything is going to be fine. But if I have to remember [for] myself, a couple years ago, I wouldn’t do that. Because I didn’t feel prepared at the time.” - Gustavo Heredia Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Gustavo Heredia, whose full name is Luis Gustavo Heredia Vasquez. As a gap year student, Gu...

“For me, being more vulnerable made me more of a visionary. I really do believe that. It allowed me to move beyond the past and to see the future.” - Chip Conley Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Chip Conley. Chip is a man that has disrupted the hospitality industry twice in his lifetime - once as the founder of Joie de Vivre Hospitality, and again as a key strategic advisor during A...

“I come from a worldview, a belief, an assumption that all people are inherently whole and resourced to give all their gifts and greatest contributions to the world. So for some of us, our fires might be dormant for a variety of reasons, but it’s not that there’s no fire. Everyone has fire.” Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Didier Sylvain. As a life and leadership coach, Didier coac...

"People are like, "You are a machine." And I’m like " yeah I am ." And there’s a part of me that’s like, " oh yeah, I’m a machine. I’m a machine ." And it’s so backwards how as men we can have our egos inflated when we’re compared to non-human things. Why do I want to be a machine? I don’t want to be a machine. Machines don’t have empathy or compassion or sensitivity. Machines can’t enjoy sex. Mac...

“The reason I speak with such passion and love when I’m creating is because I’m the one dealing with a lot of those the things that I’m telling you about... Somebody is going through the exact same thing, it just has a different face on it. It has a different mask on it.” - Will Tidwell Ever Forward Club’s Ashanti Branch is joined by Will Tidwell of Speak Up Zee. Often referred to as the “Neighbor...