Unfortunate Cookies

Imagine a story so quirky, it leaves you questioning your own childhood adventures — and maybe contemplating skinny dipping yourself. On this episode, Heath and Kyleson dive into their hilariously awkward first-time skinny dipping experience, set against the peaceful backdrop of Long Lake, Michigan. They reveal exactly how four mischievous friends, under the glow of two full moons, dared to shed t...

Before podcasts, before responsibilities, and before we knew what we were doing, there was a band called Supremacy. In this episode, Heath and Kyle take a trip back to their teenage years, sharing stories from their garage band days, recording their first EP, and pulling off an unforgettable backyard deck show that somehow drew hundreds of people. From awkward stage banter and homemade venues to t...

In this episode, Heath and Kyle revisit one of their most ridiculous childhood adventures—a bonfire, a puppet, and a series of questionable decisions that somehow felt like a great idea at the time. From homemade videos and teenage creativity to flaming arrows and lasting memories, it’s a hilarious trip back to the days when boredom and imagination were a dangerous combination. https://linktr.ee/h...

This week, Heath and Kyle take a trip down memory lane, reminiscing about their teenage movie theater adventures, sneaking in questionable amounts of Taco Bell, and the unforgettable experience of watching Hoot in a nearly empty theater. From childhood freedom and inside jokes to dreams of eating cereal at the movies, this episode is packed with nostalgia, laughter, and the kind of stories only lo...

Heath and Kyle are back with another chaotic round of fortune-cookie-fueled conversation. What starts as technical difficulties and audio glitches quickly spirals into stories about fried chicken, small-town culture in Northern Michigan, awkward community moments, and the strange wisdom hidden inside cheap cookies. Along the way, the guys talk diversity, funerals, peanut allergies, Yes Man, and wh...

This week, Heath and Kyle take a trip back to their youth group days, revisiting awkward teenage moments, Christian music festivals, first concerts, and the memories that helped shape a decades-long friendship. From a misunderstood joke that sent youth leaders into panic mode to stories about playing music together and reminiscing about cultural touchstones like Vine, Bob Barker, and Festival Con...

Heath and Kyle take a chaotic stroll down memory lane, bouncing from game shows and Nickelodeon slime to youth group mishaps and concerts that probably should’ve gone differently. What starts with stories about writing the wrong thing on a form quickly turns into a mix of nostalgia, ridiculous moments, and the kind of laughs that only come from looking back at how weird we all were. Along the way,...

Heath and Kyle turn a simple grilled cheese into a full-blown life philosophy, breaking down the “tiny tweak” that takes it from decent to legendary—while somehow spiraling into childhood pizza-weapon attacks, water gun wars, and the chaos of Coke spritzes. What starts as a kitchen hack quickly becomes a mix of questionable cooking advice, oddly strategic efficiency tips, and a debate on what actu...

Heath and Kyle crack open another batch of questionable wisdom and somehow turn childhood sneaking, voice memo chaos, and chocolate fortune cookies into life advice nobody asked for—but somehow works. From plotting how to get friends over without getting caught to reliving mispronunciations that refuse to die, the guys bounce between dumb stories and surprisingly real moments about connection, bei...

Heath and Kyleson try to answer a simple question—what is Facebook?—and immediately regret it. What follows is a chaotic, hilarious dive into social media, MySpace nostalgia, and why Facebook feels like a never-ending town square argument. It’s confusing, a little unhinged, and somehow still makes perfect sense. And yes… there are fortune cookies. Links: https://linktr.ee/heathfall

Heath and Kyle crack open a box of fortune cookies—and things spiral immediately. What starts as a simple snack turns into a deep (and very dumb) dive into the power of words, weird cookie design, and whether a fortune can actually change your life… or at least your mood. Along the way, the guys pitch questionable business ideas, break down the art of describing chocolate like critics, and serious...

Heath and Kyle crack open a box of chocolate fortune cookies—and somehow end up unpacking way more than just dessert. What starts as a fast-moving, laugh-filled unboxing spirals into a wild conversation about cultural myths, mispronunciations, and the kind of stories that are so awkward they become legendary. Along the way, they dive into the surprisingly American origins of fortune cookies, debat...

Heath’s back on intro duty as the guys crack open more fortune cookies and spiral into hilarious overanalysis — from happiness-through-generosity to bold, life-changing decisions that may or may not mean anything. Between debates about eating the fortune, joking about chaotic chat interactions, and trying to figure out what it means to be “layered like a potato,” this episode delivers the perfect...

In this episode of Unfortunate Cookies, Heath and Kyle crack open fortune cookie advice and somehow end up debating directions, luck, and why sitting “facing east” might (or might not) change your life. From there, the conversation drifts into childhood nostalgia—forts, audio stories, and toys like Tonie boxes that are bringing imagination back without screens. It’s a laid-back mix of random fortu...

In this episode of Unfortunate Cookies, Heath and Kyle dive into the weird world of fortune cookies—from their unexpected history to the oddly inspiring (and sometimes pointless) messages inside. What starts as cookie talk quickly turns into stories about church camp pranks, jalapeño chaos, spoon battles, and the questionable decisions fueled by energy drinks and pre-workout. It’s a mix of nostalg...

In this episode of Unfortunate Cookies, Heath and Kyle dive headfirst into their obsession with Buc-ee’s—from the swag and massive stores to the legendary bathrooms and the mystery of the beaver mascot. Along the way, they crack open fortune cookies, debate whether Buc-ee’s deserves its own holiday, and swap stories about meeting people they admire (or at least trying not to look intimidating whil...

In this episode of Unfortunate Cookies, Heath and Kyle are joined by guest Matt Solem for a chaotic mix of stories, jokes, and unexpected life reflections—all sparked by a mysteriously pre-broken fortune cookie. What starts as a simple observation turns into conversations about getting older, college memories, midlife realizations, and why friendship somehow makes everything funnier (and weirder)....

In this episode of Unfortunate Cookies, Heath and Kyle discover that knowing your friend’s actual legal name might be more important than you think—especially when border patrol gets involved. What starts as a simple conversation about names quickly spirals into stories about aliases, family naming traditions, teenage skateboarder nostalgia, and the chaos that happens when someone realizes “Kyle”...

In this episode, Heath and Kyle seriously investigate the most important question of our time: does a fortune cookie have legs? What starts as a deep dive into cookie geometry quickly spirals into debates about taco physics, imaginary limbs, career success, and why eating ice cream at 9 a.m. should be a constitutional right. It’s completely unnecessary, mildly educational, and exactly what happens...

Join Heath and Kyle on this Improv Comedy show!

In this episode, Heath and Kyle take a simple fortune cookie message and run it through their usual mix of sarcasm, honesty, and late-night overthinking. What starts as a throwaway line—“success is a ladder you can’t climb with your hands in your pockets”—turns into a surprisingly practical conversation about opportunity, fear, and actually doing something instead of just talking about it. Along t...

In this episode of the Unfortunate Cookies Podcast, Heath and Kyle embrace the chaos of a late-night recording session, discovering that everything is funnier in the dark. Between cracked fortune cookies and questionable wisdom, the conversation drifts into pure nostalgia—root beer barrels, Werther’s Originals, and the snacks that shaped a generation. It’s a loose, laugh-heavy hang that somehow sn...

Join hosts Heath Fahl and Kyle Ascione on the Unfortunate Cookies podcast as they dive into the world of fortune cookies, exploring the humor and mystery behind each message. In this episode, they discuss the concept of "golden opportunities" and what "shortly" really means, all while sharing laughs and personal anecdotes. From debating the orientation of fortune cookies to reminiscing about arcad...

In this episode of the Unfortunate Cookies podcast, hosts Heath Fall and Kyle Ascione dive into the whimsical world of fortune cookies, exploring the humorous and sometimes perplexing messages they contain. From discussing the meaning of happiness and peace to debating the practicality of climbing ladders with hands in pockets, Heath and Kyle keep the laughs coming. They also share personal anecdo...

In this episode of "Unfortunate Cookies," hosts Heath and Kyle dive into the whimsical world of fortune cookies, using each fortune as a springboard for their comedic improvisation. From discussing the nuances of comfort and material wealth to the hilarity of childhood bike adventures, the duo keeps the laughter rolling. Join them as they explore the unexpected connections between fortunes and lif...