Unfolding with Kathy Varol

Be careful how you respond when someone sets a boundary, particularly when a grown child does. At some point, a child will need to start energetically separating from their parents. They need to figure out where their parents end, and where they begin. They’ll need space to figure out who they are. Try different things to see how they feel. Use their voice to express themselves. Be careful how you...

When my husband leaves for a business trip, I feel very ungrounded. I used to feel bad about this ungrounded feeling, but now I feel differently.   

When good things happen to you, accept them with a gracious heart. There have been many bad things. There have been times you weren’t picked. The times you were forgotten. And there will be more bad things along the road. So when the good comes, lean in fully. Embrace it with open arms. Accept the blessing with thanks. If you want to share your good, do. Sharing shows the universe you know it’s no...

There is power, presence, and peace found in allowing. Allowing means allowing others to be as they are. Not trying to change them. Not trying to control them. Not being frustrated that they are how they are. The practice of allowing starts with allowing yourself to be. Stopping the war against self, and allowing yourself to exist exactly as you are in each moment. Not wishing you were different....

Our bodies are wise. Our bodies let us know when we’re operating out of alignment with ourself. Out of alignment with our inner truth. Our bodies let us know when we’re operating off of fear instead of love. If we fail to listen to our body, it will increase the volume of its signal to try to get our attention. What is your body trying to tell you?  

We will all spend more time below ground than above. How does knowing that change the way you view your above-ground time?  

How you feel about yourself is the most important choice you’ll ever make. And it is a choice. The narrative you repeat in your head that’s on repeat, that narrative is self-hypnotizing you. That narrative determines how you see yourself, and as you project that narrative into the world, it determines how you experience the world. If you repeat, “I’m not good enough”, you will believe that. But if...

The present moment is your seat of power. It’s the only moment you can act in. It’s also your eternal now. There is never tomorrow, since by the time it arrives, it’s now. The only moment you’ll ever have is now. So how will you spend your now?  Will you waste it, by waiting for tomorrow? Each day staying on the fringes of life, not diving into the messy existence that’s calling you? Life is...

You are not your feelings. Your feelings interact with you. Your feelings are visitors, to the house of you, each with a message to give you. But you are not your feelings.   

Have you ever noticed that when you move out of a house, the rooms look smaller once everything is out of them, not bigger? This always perplexed me. But now, I understand why.

Dream journaling can be a rich area for insights from the void. In this episode I share two insights around intention and connection that came to me during a dream.   

This episodes expands off the last episode on radical transparency, sharing the following two examples of radical transparency: Simon Sinek https://www.tiktok.com/@motivationstop/video/7213401106372742405?_r=1&_t=8cEXlhLjK4Q Weather man  https://www.instagram.com/reel/CmhRh1VD309/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link    

I’ve been playing with the idea of internal radical transparency and external radical transparency. Cultivating radical transparency is a direct route to awareness and ultimately clarity. Let’s dive in, but first we’ll do a quick look at what Internal Family Systems (IFS) is, and how it can play a role in radical internal transparency.   

For each of these podcast episodes, I only do one take, and I have no script. I start each episode with one idea of what I want to talk about (for example, this one is sharing why I only do one take), and then I just talk. This pushes me out of my comfort zone. It makes me feel more exposed, but there are a number of reasons I choose to do it this way. The main one, is I think too much of life is...

Here’s what’s striking about my dogs behavior: He doesn’t connect rejection to his identity. He never associates rejection with something he did wrong, or the notion that he isn’t good enough. He doesn’t let rejection infect the pleasure and joy he gets out of an activity. Humans are different. Humans internalize rejection, bring it into our identity and wrap it in shame. But we don’t have to. We...

Family, particularly siblings, have the potential to be the most powerful healing circle. But unfortunately, most families don’t operate that way. We have deep patterns of how we interact with family members, that present a huge hurdle. But, the most difficult things in life often have the greatest rewards.   

The magic art of tidying up shouldn’t stop at throw pillows and toaster. Let go of friendships, jobs, and anything that is no longer energy-building. You need to let go in order to make room for new to grow. Letting go is hard, but letting go can be an act of love.   

Bet on yourself. Don’t wait for someone else to choose you. When you choose you, fully, unabashedly, humbly, you become a magnetic force. This isn’t overconfidence, this is self-acceptance. Overconfidence is an act for others, hoping they’ll see you a certain way. Or a shallow, “fake it until you make” it performance for yourself. Truly accepting yourself is a quiet constant internal act rooted in...

We live in an insatiable culture that is always chasing more. More money, more praise, more love. But more isn’t always better. Our bodies can be a wise guide to teach us that more isn’t always better. With eating, we know when we are full. We know when we’ve had enough. We know when adding more will only cause discomfort and pain. If more starts making you constrict, that’s an indication you’ve h...

How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you. If you don’t see yourself, if you downplay your experience, you are teaching others to do the same.

There’s been an unnerving trend, where a lot of people have stopped asking questions. In conversation, they just look to be seen, but never to see. Trying so hard to curate your perception of them. Who they’re talking to is irrelevant. They are expanding themselves in an attempt to feel internally that they are enough. This approach is never going to make them feel like enough. It’s a vicious cycl...

You are worthy of your desires. Your desires are meant for you. Magnetic, from both ends. Lay down the belief that you are not worthy of your desires. That you do not deserve your desires. Remove the internal friction between yourself and your desire. Trust your desires to show you the path that you are meant to walk down.   

Often we try to shame or hate parts of ourselves out of existence. This approach is a dead end. The only way to heal, or to create lasting change, is through love. There is a modality of psychology called Internal Family Systems (IFS). IFS states that each of us is made up of multiple parts, and underlying them is a person's core or true Self. Like members of a family, a person's inner parts can t...

It’s easy to view trees as something static. But if you observe, you’ll notice that trees are a beautiful mentor when it comes to embracing change. When was the last time you bloomed as widely as a cherry blossom tree? When was the last time the fire inside you burned so bright it covered a mountainside, like the leaves of a tree change in the fall? When was the last time you let everything that w...

You can’t force creativity, and yet, often times we try to do exactly that. But here’s the thing, when you force yourself to sit down and “be creative” that act of forcing yourself means that you’re disassociating from parts of yourself. You’re cutting off access to parts of your brain, which means your thinking will be constrained, and your output will suffer. There’s another approach you could u...