Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex & Love

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love , with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: My husband’s past pornography addiction and my own history of sex and love addiction make occasional new sexual behaviors triggering for me. When something unexpected happens, I feel unsafe and disconnected. We want to keep exploring intimacy without ac...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love , with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: One of my group members is struggling after discovering his wife’s year-long affair, which began after he pressured her to watch pornography with him and she became addicted herself. They are seeing a counselor locally. What resources would you recommen...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: Since discovery, I’ve worked hard to heal my sexuality and past trauma, as well as the impact of my husband’s addiction. I fight against resentment while still longing for emotional closeness with him, which often leads to wanting sexual intimacy too. I’...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - My husband and I are 3.5 years post-discovery, yet he still avoids taking ownership for issues tied to his long-term sexual addiction unless pressured. As Christians, I feel truth-telling should be shared, not one-sided, and I’m troubled this wasn’t ad...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love , with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - What books would you recommend reading to help me understand sex and orgasm? - After 18 years of marriage and repeated betrayals by my husband, I’ve been divorced for two years and abstinent, yet I struggle with a strong sexual desire I’m unaccustomed...

On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - My husband’s parents are loving and generous, but since D-Day, he hasn’t been honest with them about his actions or the consequences. He was fired and had to hire a lawyer due to his acting out behaviors. I’ve become his secret keeper, which leaves me resentful and conflicted. How much truth should I share with his parents without oversharin...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love , with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: Does PD counseling include diving into family of origin trauma such as enmeshment between a parent and a child? Through my healing I’ve learned a lot about attachment styles. My young adult daughter doesn’t have an obvious attachment style and doesn’t s...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.   On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - In a dating context, how much recovery should my boyfriend have from sexual addiction prior to us stepping into marriage? - I’m leading an Authentically You group, and several young women are sharing about their fiancés’ struggles with porn. They see...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love , with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: More women are coming to group with strangulation trauma as part of the abuse they’ve gone through. I recently had a woman in group who had experienced this and ended up with a blood clot in her neck that could have been life threatening. How do we lear...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love , with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: Even though I'm faithful to my husband, and love him dearly, I lust and fantasize and my maladaptive daydreaming is out of control. How do I navigate these waters? Is this past trauma and my need for control? Where do I start with healing? I stopped my...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love , with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: How do I not hate or resent my husband when I grieve the inability to try to have more children because we have a sexless marriage due to the trauma of his addiction? Can you speak to sexual anorexia after betrayal? It's been 5 years since my husband an...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - I’ve felt the harm of purity culture, but I’m confused by the reaction against it—where modesty seems dismissed altogether. I see Christian women dressing in ways that feel extreme, and I wonder if immodesty reflects deeper heart issues. Is there still...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - I was married for 30 years and I didn’t understand the depth of my husband’s porn addiction until about 8 years ago. He refused to seek help and he recently passed away, so I am doing this recovery alone. About 9 months ago, I found him at his place of...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - I am single right now, but every time I get in the shower I think about when I get married and if my husband will want to take a shower with me. I don't want my husband in the shower. So how would I tell him no without hurting him? - I'm a follower of...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - After 9 years of repeated porn discoveries in my marriage, we're now heading into an intensive with a polygraph. It’s our first time using one, and I feel lost on what to ask. What questions truly bring clarity and healing? What are the top questions a...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: My husband and I have been in recovery through PD since late 2024, navigating sobriety, betrayal trauma, and rebuilding intimacy. While I’m seeking emotional safety, he reacts with blame when having sex is paused. I’m craving emotional connection before...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love , with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: I find myself constantly chasing relationships, even unhealthy ones, just so I don’t feel alone. I know it’s not good for me, but the fear of being without someone feels unbearable. How do I start breaking free from this cycle of needing to be wanted? W...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love , with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: My husband and I are a few months into recovery after he disclosed years of hidden porn use. While he believes he’s walking in victory, I’m unsure how to distinguish true healing from another “purge” phase, given his past cycle. With new safeguards in p...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love , with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: I just finished Sexual Integrity 101 and want to join Betrayal & Beyond . There are no local groups and a 10-month virtual commitment feels impossible. My husband, a former pastor, abandoned me and our four kids after a devastating affair. I’m doing the...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - My husband makes me feel small and unwanted. I started fantasizing about the characters in one of my favorite shows. I find myself wishing I were married to a man like that. Whenever I’m not watching my show, I hate my reality and life, but I also do n...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love , with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: I’m reentering dating after ending a relationship with a man who had unresolved pornography struggles and resisted accountability. Now seeking a God-honoring, healthy marriage, I’m wondering how to graciously approach conversations about sexual history...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: - My husband confessed to porn, chat rooms, and video calls, but I’ve discovered more he hasn’t admitted. I’m now in a group and writing a Safety Action Plan, but how do you create one when trust is completely broken? If there are consequences, won’t he...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love , with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: I grew up in the church and always thought wanting sex, or enjoying it, made me less godly. Now I’m married, and feel so much confusion and guilt about what I should want. How has culture and religion shaped the way I view desire, and how do I know what...

Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love , with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: My husband is making great progress in his recovery, attending group sessions and trauma counseling, but I’m struggling to catch up. I’ve had trouble finding a counselor and don’t have a group, though we both attended an intensive. He sometimes dismisse...

If you have a question you’d like us to answer on Unfiltered , email us at unfiltered@puredesire.org . We can’t wait to hear from you! Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love , with Ashley and Heather. On today’s episode, we answer the following questions: My group was excruciating tonight—hearing others’ victories while I’m drowning in pain felt unbearable. I’m exhausted...