Unashamed Unafraid

Having already defined codependency, the team now addresses how to break out of its cycle. The first step is to recognize what our codependent behaviors even are. We cannot choose a different path if we don’t see the choices that are there. Furthermore, if we want to stop manipulating others into meeting our needs, we have to make peace with the fact that we really do have needs and that it is acc...

The concept of codependency can be difficult to grasp and identifying it within ourselves or our relationships can prove challenging. In this episode, we break down the definition, assess its relevance, and offer strategies for recognizing and addressing it. If you’ve grappled with resentment in a relationship or felt compelled to manage someone else’s emotions or beliefs, this discussion may prov...

We’re thrilled to welcome Marc Pimsler back for another episode! Marc, a lover of God, is a therapist, seeker, and a teacher with the heart of a student. He's in long-term recovery and he's here to talk about making repair. Whether we refer to it as making repair, making amends, setting things right, or repairing relationships, there are ineffective or even harmful ways to approach it. Marc shows...

Alcoholics Anonymous' Dr. Bob's response to Bill Wilson after he complained that no one showed up for a meeting he spent the day organizing— "But you didn't drink today" — speaks volumes. In this episode, Steve, James, and Chris recognize the challenges of forming real connections and a supportive community while providing uplifting advice. Tune in for insightful truths like these: Everyone fears...

Christian was born the middle of eight children and felt that he had to act out to get noticed. In his early adolescence he experimented with opiates, alcohol, a cigarette, and sex. Kelle met Christian during their senior year of High School, the two started dating, and were quickly married after he returned home from his LDS mission. A few years and a motorcycle accident later, Christian went thr...

Just as we establish clear boundaries in our relationships with other people, we must also set boundaries in our relationship with digital media, especially when we consider that media use is the "most undiagnosed addiction behavior by a mile." It consumes massive chunks of our time on its own, and can lure the recovering porn addict back into full-blown relapse. Hear the Unashamed Unafraid team s...

Julie Forbes is a healer of souls. In this episode, we discuss her practice of helping people heal through spiritual connection with and in the presence of horses - Equine Assisted Learning. She has worked professionally in this field for over a decade in the St. George, Utah area. Julie shares the success she has witnessed in her work with troubled teens and addicts, asserting that no matter what...

"I absolutely know with every fiber of my being that [God] loves me for who I am." Recovery is not a one-size-fits-all process. Each person may define their recovery journey in terms of what resonates with them personally. Recovery is as much about self-awareness and growth as it is about overcoming addiction and the journey from “recovering” to “recovered” lies in our faith in God and His Son Jes...

David Thompson is a marriage and family therapist, a certified sex addiction therapist, and half of the Two Therapists Talking podcast. In today’s episode he is invited to share whatever message “lights him up,” and he chooses to speak on the tremendous power of empathy. He even states that “empathy is the key that unlocks every door.” Of particular usefulness is David’s step-by-step guide for how...

If porn is a paycheck and I’m getting $200 a week and you tell me to just stop - the math doesn’t add up because I’m broke.  You have to give them hope - “what if I give you $500 a week in recovery.”  And that $500 is hope. This episode uncovers the understanding of unconditional love from God in talking with others and seeking God. Brother and Sisterhood, good 12 Step programs, bootcamps, etc. is...

Matt and Natalie were high school sweethearts, but unknown by her, Matt had been struggling with pornography since he was a boy. His struggles continued through high school and a church mission, and into their marriage, but he had never shared any of this with his parents, church leaders, or with Natalie. After their first year of marriage, she opened up to him about a childhood of sexual abuse, a...

Changing our state is a good practice when dealing with life’s stressful events – but getting outside and connecting to nature resets our minds. Chris, Steve, and James share what works best for them from hiking, sitting by a fire, or getting on a boat to help reset their state of mind.  The episode ends with a challenge to get outdoors and dive into nature. When you are done, go back to your car...

Jacob and Trichelle, married for 32 years, both serve on the staff of Desert Solace, a pornography and sexual addiction treatment facility in St. George, Utah. In this episode, they recount their transformative journey from what they once described as 'soul sucking' to something they now see as 'beautiful'. Jacob's addiction overshadowed the first 26 years of their marriage but was difficult to id...

In this episode, Steve, James, and guest Kurt Francom explore the role of a higher power in addiction recovery. Recognizing the diversity of perspectives surrounding this topic, the trio transcends conventional definitions, offering insights grounded in their collective experience. The conversation touches on crucial themes, including wounds, surrender, identity, healing, and happiness. If you've...

Chris discusses his 15 years of sobriety and how it is defined with the group. Rather than a focus on abstinence from lust and acting out, recovery is a new way of life we walk with Christ. They also discuss the analogy of a marathon runner who trips up on mile 24 and how he doesn’t have to restart the race, he gets up and keeps on running.  What is your story in recovery? How have you defined rea...

“When you are at rock bottom, you are super hard on yourself and you are just going to keep going further down - but when you finally have hope - you see the light and desire to keep going.” Brian and Alicia met in middle school, served missions for their church and got married. On returning home from South Africa, Brian got a smartphone and quickly found out how slippery a slope pornography is. H...

Recognizing that we have behaviors that are detrimental to both ourselves and others brings up some important questions. We wonder whether these actions classify as addictions, transient behaviors, or merely bad habits. More questions come up when we find that we can't easily stop the behavior. In this episode, we explore the reasons we even ask the questions. We contemplate the significance of th...

Today, Bryce is known among his friends as genuinely happy, and capable of putting an entire room at ease upon entering it. But it was only a few years ago that he reached out for help from the edge of despair. He had hit rock bottom in a lifestyle of porn and sex that was wreaking havoc in his life. Breaking free from shame and his destructive habits proved to be a challenging journey, but suppor...

“Music can give me empathy like nobody around me can.”  Join us in a shorter 20-minute episode as Steven, James, and Chris share how music has helped them see God differently. Not just Christian music, but anything that uplifts, inspires, takes you to a sad place, or otherwise moves you into a place of reflection and learning.  Music is an amplifier of emotion which provides clarity and the opport...

At the age of 9, Kaylawnni began a challenging journey with sexual compulsion. Her struggle is marked by confusion and damaged self-confidence. A lyric from her favorite song boldly highlights the cause, "The devil lies, and twists the truth." She always assumed she'd take her secrets to the grave, but then, a close friend bravely disclosed his own battles, inspiring her to start her path to recov...

" That was a moment for me that changed the trajectory of my life, my recovery; changed the connection with my wife, changed how I saw my kids; changed so much of me and who I was… " -Chris In this short ‘Live Unashamed’ episode, Steve, James and Chris discuss resources that make a difference and how to find them. Good resources can initiate breakthroughs and sustain recovery, but they must have q...

Kurt Francom, the Executive Director and Host of 'Leading Saints', returns to discuss the concepts behind his recently released book, "Is God Disappointed in me? Removing Shame from the Gospel of Grace." This episode explores the inspiration behind the book, drawing on Francom's experiences within the Unashamed Unafraid and Warrior Heart Boot Camp communities. The book's title resonates with those...

“I know where shame lives - and that’s in isolation.” Breaking anonymity shares how God has changed us and the desire to help one person to change their life is real when we come alive in Christ’s healing. It is reaching out with the most important messages in a shame-filled world - “you are not alone, and you are worth everything.”  It is easy for us to compare our suffering against others. To th...

Join us as we dive into stereotypes about addiction that are regularly aired in the shame game of trying to run and hide and act out in secret. A few mentioned early in this episode:  Everybody who is an addict is non-functional - cannot hold down a job or a family. Don’t let ANYBODY know because it is the worst thing you can be doing - my kids can’t play with other people’s kids anymore. Once an...

My name is Hunter and this is my story. From the outside, my life seemed to be on a perfect track for success and happiness. I grew up with two parents in a loving and loyal family. I was a talented young man who especially did well in school. All of the adults around me felt that I had a bright future ahead of me in basically any career that I could want. My peers all saw me as simply another kid...