Two Soggy Bottoms: The Great British Bake Off Podcast

We made it - it's the final! And there was a huge shock winner! A true underdog story with a rightful twist at the end. Just kidding it all went to plan. But at least there was two breakages, bad dough, excellent spoon puppetry and Iain on a horsey. What more could you need?! Thanks for listening to the series dissection with us lil clowns. Go on, be good x

It's the semis and all flags are flying at half mast given the loss of a certain Irish short king last week. Your loyal hosts aren't sure what pâtisserie is so please stop asking them. There's a huge upset in the showstopper challenge and frankly the bit of drama was much-needed. Who's going to win? Find out next week by watching the actual show, then listening to the final episode of this average...

Huge week for TSB (Two Soggy Bottoms, not tenderstem broccoli) as we have our very first SPECIAL GUESTS in the "studio". We've managed to wrangle two of Prue's stylists for a quick chat about their careers and lack of sight or experience. Otherwise, the episode was as divisive as ever for the two hosts whose tastes in sweet treats do not align once again. Gripping stuff, get stuc...

Well now, aren't we having fun? This week, the bakers had to effectively just whazz together some eggs and sugar. Everything else was pageantry. We had a genuinely very meaningful throwback to a Bake Off incident in the days of yore which meant a lot to us losers who've watched the show for far too long. Oh also sorry about the clicking pen noise, we are but human and flawed. Love ya x

We've officially climbed over the halfway point of this year's series and the standard is higher than Prue after a bit of plonk. As expected, Paul spent the entirety of pastry week extremely On One, and the bakers did their best to woo him and his flower-stuffed-into-postbox-looking fellow judge. Enjoy Ciara and Ciarán's whimsical and deranged debrief of the episode x

We're at the halfway point of the series, but your hosts are understandably in a sombre mood given the breaking news that dropped mere hours before the episode aired. Ever the professionals, Ciara and Ciarán rally to deliver sharp performance analysis filled with delusional nightclub promotions, Prue outfit draggings and the bravery to call out chocolate fondue for what it is: a nonsense. Enjoy th...

In the latest instalment of 'what an absolute reach of a concept', the bakers had to bake things very Britishly related to school. It was a strange episode but Ciara and Ciarán still had their fun. This caption comes live from the departures lounge of Stansted Airport where Ciara can overhear a gaggle of cabin crew giving out about some pervy pilot. Get his ass, girlies. Anyway listen enjoy the ep...

This is it, the week where Paul Hollywood gains his most sentient form and adds another layer of self-righteousness. Our little bakers did their best, but they are collectively no match for the judging prowess of that mahogany Fox's glacier mint of a man. We laughed, we cried, we had a bit of plonk. It's a good episode - have a listen x

Another absolutely huge week for gingerbread, and be sure to send your congratulations to the PR team behind it. The bakers really took the biscuit this week - most notably Pui Man from Nataliia when she ran out. It was a good episode, there was a Hollywood Handshake and we found out that someone is a quinoa swimmer. What does that mean? You'll have to listen to find out, silly.

Surprise, we're back. After a year-long hiatus to tend to important matters (investigating the Bermuda Triangle, raising a Labubu and simply going toilet), Ciara and Ciarán have returned to save the very niche market of GBBO podcasting. First up, it's cake week, and these bakers sure know how to make one. But whomst is putting adult braces on the map? Whose dog needs a paternity test? Which podcas...

(To the tune of Finally by CeCe Peniston) Finally it is Bake Off's last week they all made tiered cake and this podcast describes it. (End of singing to the tune of Finally by CeCe Peniston) Three bakers, three rounds, one winner... If you don't know who it was Ciara and Ciarán will tell you, and if you do know sure listen anyway for a couple of lols and comments from friends of the show....

We've made it to the semi finals! And this week the bakers have to be fancy af with financiers, French apple tarts and f-puff pastry. Who will fall at the last hurdle with no chance of lifting the Bake Off trophy/cake stand? Ciara and Ciarán will tell you if you listen to their podcast! Only one episode of this podcast left, if that makes you sad please tell us, we crave your approval. Thanks!...

It's the quarter finals and things are both heating up and sufficiently cooling down in the Bake Off tent. It's Party Week, so naturally the bakers are forbidden from making beige food? Insanity. They try their hands at a nameless caterpillar cake and we learn that Prue says 'buffet' like an absolute posho. Saku's lack of presence is palpable, but it was still a decent episode....

Folks we've had a mare this week and had to record the podcast twice. The episode is still exceptional, but imagine how impeccable the first take was? No, even better than that! Tech issues aside, it's a sad week as we say goodbye to one of our favourite bakers of the series. Also, we witnessed one of the dumbest time constraints in a technical challenge possibly ever. We laughed, we cried...

It's a tale as old as pie for bake off with a weird, unnecessarily niche week theme; Botanicals Week is here, and it's Halloween. So scary spiced buns, shocking flavour pairings and heart stopping show stoppers are the order of the day. Ciara and Ciarán tell you every thing you need to know, and some things you don't, as the bakers continue to be whittled down. Thanks for listening, fo...

As the old saying goes, don't talk to me until I've had my pastry! Thankfully, we were served it by the bucketload this week thanks to the bakers' abundance of flakey triumphs. Ciara and Ciarán were mildly appalled by some of the ingredients (cream cheese pastry, grapes in a pie?), but held it together for the sake of the award-pending podcast. There were highs (plum innuendos) and low...

It's the hottest day of the year aka the perfect time to put a bunch of bakers in a tent and ask them to make things with chocolate. Want a comparison to what Prue is dressed like, jokes about chocolate boxes and Saku stanning? Have I got the podcast for you, and you're probably already listening to it. Leave reviews, tell a friend and send Ciara and/or Ciarán a message about how much you...

Get your ovens ready because it's bread week and my God was it boring. Inevitably, we reached peak levels of smug Hollywood. The man very likely brought his bread knife from home, presumably engraved with PH (as he is obsessed with measuring acidity). Sometimes we need to say that enough is enough - a grown woman does not need to make a cow out of bread - she does not owe us anything. Frankly,...

Episode two and Ciara and Ciarán are ready to get bickie with it! A marshmallow signature puts some of the bakers in a sticky situation. Custard Creams as a technical has our hosts wondering what is the best classic biscuit. And an illusory showstopper results in questions like "Is this a burger I see before me?" "Can a cheese board be someone's favourite meal?" and "D...

Your prayers have finally been answered - Ciara and Ciarán are back to gently rinse the new series of The Great British Bake Off. First up, it's Cake Week. Hear all about the new crop of bakers' respective triumphs and shitshows, complete with ample references to beavers. It's a strong start, with some clear favourites already emerging. (Also Ciara apologises for the fact that some rap...

It's time... well technically it was time last week but due to personal reasons Ciara and Ciarán could not record until now... The final is here! Only three bakers remain, who will come out on top? After a whole season of fun and frolics, Ciara and Ciarán recap an episode that can only be described as "whelming"! Listen to them get riled up about the challenges, reminisce on the past contestants a...

Well smack us on the butts and call us Julie, it's the semi-finals! After many weeks of baking, the bakers are still very much baking. Just four remain, and their skills are put to the test by having to make a bunch of things none of us have heard of before. Ciara and Ciarán feel that this a good semi, in fact, it's a strong semi. Unfortunately, just three bakers progress to the final, which you p...

Abdul, Janusz, Maxy, Sandro, Syabira, our final five bakers are all vying for a place in the semi finals, but who will make it? Ciara and Ciarán give their thoughts on pastry week, vol-au-vents, springs rolls and pies, oh my! A shock elimination and some really rude judging. This episode had it all! Hope you enjoy it, leave a like, a comment, a review or a baked treat. X

Yes, you've read that correctly. It's custard week and just six bakers remain. Ciara and Ciarán were suitably horrified at the initial concept, but soon warmed to the lunacy as the bakers struggled to make, set and fashionably present various forms of custard. There was a shifty whisker, confusing jumper, human hissing, pistachio soup, not-so-mysterious burning and a fair amount of ass-kissing thi...

Ciara and Ciarán are so very brave and managed to watch the entire Halloween week episode of Great British Bake Off without covering their eyes once! Our lucky seven bakers are about to be cut down to a spooky six, six, six. This episode has everything: cake eyeliner, multiple innuendos of the week, MTV's Dan Cortez, and even some baking! Tune in to find out what two people who have no right to be...