Turi Ryder's "She Said What?" Podcast

"BCE"—before cellphones existed. Nice people make Turi look bad. When your spouse manipulates to make you manipulative. The non-shocking shock collar. The eternal conversation between mothers of kids behaving badly. When you are still punk. The unexpected sea chanty.

Marci's personal "Burning Man" is causing her to reevaluate mountain living. What you can watch with a TV antenna. Turi's long, garlicky, painful busride: lessons learned.  

Marci is looking for safety as Arizona burns, and she may need to pick up a couple of hundred cats. There are the realistically phobic people, and the nut jobs and paranoics. You can find out who is who on social media. Turi is cautioned never to watch Game of Thrones. Fireworks in a hazard zone. Pickpocketing—a   national sport. Fear of mascots.

The longer something has not been working, the better you feel when you find out you didn't break it. A room full of sports writers, and a moment of silence.

Rattlesnakes are all over Marci's neighborhood. There's a plan for that. Disgusting things you probably never thought dogs could do. Disgusting things you probably never thought pigs could do.

Marci demonstrates the unusual value and properties of childproof caps, smartphones, and Skin-So-Soft. That friend who sends you articles about woo-woo faux science, and one of the hocus pocus queens leaves for an alternate dimension. Or maybe just leaves. 

Marci has been caring for a toddler…a toddler who thinks diaper training is a game. We've all been there, and some of us (including even ourselves and perhaps some famous people) don't seem to have fully solved the problem.

It takes a rabbit to catch Marci's dog. New rural neighbors with loud radios and a backhoe. Choosing pets and husbands for looks, or, the every-six-year haircut. Audio books are NOT efficient (don't believe anyone who tells you "I get so much done…") No use for "Catcher in the Rye." More use for "Lord of the Flie." Marci likes "Justice Judy."

The two-hour drive for the 5 minute appointment. Peter Pan vs the computer or, who is the grown up here? Robin Byrd interviewed Ron Jeremy a million years ago—when nobody waxed. Hygene for furniture.

Marci yields to a highway (Route 66) full of hotrods, but the vibe is a little to sultry. How to apologize to old people. Birds that hang on your chest, and the women who love them. The "I'll finish it later" problem.

Turi is assigned homework. To be more accurate—bathroom work. Doctors you should not marry. The out-of-context in-person meeting, or "I know I know you…."   What you eat when you are too hungry. Rummaging through your kitchen cupboard late at night. 

Marci finds an unused liquid in her bathroom cabinet…and decides to try it. Turi is assigned the collection of an entirely different fluid.

A business' web site tells you exactly what it thinks of its competition…and possibly you.

Fun navigating in and negotiating with your city bureaucracy (extra points if your city is Oakland, CA.)   Don't touch my tree. How do you know if you're being asked for a bribe? Wedding madness: Marci's youngest plans her event-which involves demolishing Marci's property. The semi-permanent sidewalk art in a trendy Chicago neighborhood: a dessicated rat.

When was the last time someone asked you for a bribe? How do you know? The City of Oakland, California vs The City of Chicago. Marci's daughter's wedding plans. Dead rats on the sidewalk vs redwood trees upending the sidewalk. 

Sometimes you wish there were an explanation for your difficult week—but the planets and stars are not it. Somehow, the glasses are your fault. The primary school valentine for the kid you didn't like. The hazard of "don't you know who I am?" Things (famous) people should have learned about Zoom. Marci wears the wrong shirt to appear on national TV. And Elvis…is still dead.

Marci does something many of you would never, ever do—and now she is in pain. Nature is arguably bad. The Midwest vs. California, or the open bar vs the vegetable platter. (When we say hide the sausage, we mean it.)

Marci's neighboring mountain is in flames (nobody is hurt) with extremely inconvenient results. Wildlife hits the ground. The blended worm. Biology you've forgotten.  What not to have outside your expensive store. The "Most Oblivious Partner" contest announcement (and why we're holding one.)

New ideas for getting rid of toxic waste, purchasing furniture, or possibly removing unwanted house guests. How to entertain your children, recklessly. Mummies make great babysitters. Not the British kind, the dead kind.

Whenever you plan a trip….there's that news story. Switchbacks to Sedona. The Hell's Angels go shopping. Swedish biker fish. Escape of the hounds.

That's not what you thought you were eating. What's in your underwear? Admit you're too old for that. Insulting a house for sale online. How to die in the bathtub. Rebuilding Elvis' house at your house, or how to mangle 150 year old mansion. The Jungle Room in Reno.

Five days, one missing phone. Paying ransom. If aliens abduct your partner… Falling back in love with the dollar store. A lifetime supply is a terrifying thing. The artist's vaccine, and poisoned manicotti. Ma'am, are these your goats?

When everything goes wrong on your birthday, is that karma? Three dogs, three ways to ruin your life. One solution to missing out on a promotion: poison your colleague. Can you take your dog's drugs?

Getting back on the horse—really. Revelations about Marci's past. The dog that hates your partner. The fancy birthday dinner that takes you back to your childhood…in a not great way. How much did you pay for that drink? Scary restaurant mascots. Steak.

Grandbabysitting, and what the space age diaper change. Exhaustion vs insomnia.   The boomer iPhone case. Your bra as a weapon. The eye exam or "get that optician off my lawn." Happy birthday to us.