Trying Very Hard: The Podcast

Why does it take a dance floor to feel like yourself? In this episode of Trying Very Hard , we sit down with Nakul Malik — a third culture kid born in Mumbai, raised in Jakarta, educated in Vancouver, now in Singapore — to talk identity, code-switching, and the room where he stopped editing himself: Bollywood dance. Nakul walks us through small adaptations — softening his own name, giving easier a...

Body image isn't one thing. It's the comment someone made when you were nine. It's the era you grew up in. It's comparing yourself to a friend who isn't growing a human right now. In this episode of Trying Very Hard , Amanda and Monica talk honestly about their own body image journeys — the beauty standards they inherited, the insecurities they carried quietly for years, and th...

Why is making friends as an adult so hard — especially when you've just moved somewhere new and don't know a single person? In this episode of Trying Very Hard , we talk to Alka Gupta, founder of Podium, about exactly that. And about the years of burnout, identity loss, and starting over that got her there. Alka shares the story of LinkedIn-messaging strangers for friendship, a Bumble BFF...

You've taken the quiz. You know your attachment style. You've told a date your love language. So why does it feel like none of it is actually helping? In this Monanda episode of Trying Very Hard , Amanda and Monica talk honestly about the attachment style and love language frameworks everyone's obsessed with, and why they think both are being used in exactly the wrong way. From diagnos...

Ever romanticized a career that looks glamorous from the outside? In this episode of Trying Very Hard , Monanda sit down with Matthew Moore — football agent, South African globetrotter, and Monica's one true college friend — to find out what the job actually looks like behind the scenes. Matthew has spent his career negotiating contracts, managing young players' mental states, designing Pu...

Did you decide to have children — or did you just assume you would? In this episode of Trying Very Hard podcast, Amanda and Monica get honest about having kids, not having kids, maternal ambivalence, and the default most of us never question. Amanda is visibly pregnant. Monica has always assumed she'd want kids but has had her doubts. Together they unpack the default assumption that most of us inh...

Who are you without your job title? It's a question most high achievers never stop long enough to ask. Sandra Wang did — not by choice, but because burnout and a pandemic layoff left her with nothing else to sit with. In this episode of Trying Very Hard , the life and career coach and founder of The Kind Mind ( @thekindmindcoaching ) joins us to talk about career burnout, identity collapse, pe...

The relationship patterns you build in your twenties don't just disappear. They follow you until something or someone finally makes you look at them. In this Trying Very Hard episode, Amanda and Monica get honest about dating in your twenties versus your thirties — the loves that shaped them, the patterns they had to unlearn, and what it actually took to get there. They talk about the addictiv...

What if the body you're trying to build is the one that's slowly breaking you down? In this episode of Trying Very Hard , we sit down with Naz Schifra ( @nazhariaschifra⁠ ) — co-founder of ELVTE ( @elvtesg ), coach, nutritionist, and former bodybuilder — to talk about the cost of being shredded, the disordered eating that bodybuilding prep requires, and the long, unsexy work of unlearning...

Why are we so weird about not drinking? In this episode of Trying Very Hard , we get into the sober curious movement, drinking culture, social pressure, and why alcohol still feels like the default setting for socializing, dating, celebrating, and everything in between — even when fewer of us actually want to be drinking. Monica hasn't really drunk in six or seven years (she's allergic, an...

What does it actually take to stop hiding from the people you love most? In this episode of Trying Very Hard , we sit down with our dear friend Jeshua John — one of the most thoughtful people we know — for an honest conversation about growing up queer in a religious Malaysian family, the long and lonely journey through suicidal ideation and depression, and what it means to finally live without a s...

Is self-love selfish? We're going to argue no... but it's complicated. In this episode of Trying Very Hard , Amanda and Monica get into what self-love actually is — and why it's not the same as self-care, not the same as selfishness, and definitely not the same as a $50 gratitude journal. We talk about slow mornings, rest guilt, the generational gap around hustle and productivity, self...

If you've ever been really good at escaping your own feelings, this one's for you. In this guest episode of Trying Very Hard , we sit down with Chris "Toto" Gunawan, Monica's friend since preschool, Jakarta local, and self-described YOLO hypochondriac to talk about the last decade of his life, which has included: two brain tumors, two years bedridden, peripheral vision loss, his dad's pancreatic c...

We use therapy language all the time now. Triggered. Boundaries. Protecting your peace. But how many of us are actually in therapy, and how many of us are actually doing the work when we get there? Why is it so hard to fully show up in therapy, even when you know you need it? In this episode of Trying Very Hard , Amanda and Monica get into the honest, slightly uncomfortable, and surprisingly perso...

What happens when you've spent your whole life being "the practical one," and then music starts demanding more of you? In this episode of Trying Very Hard , we sit down with Kelvin Kuan (IG: kelvinkuanmusic ) — banker, events organizer, and now, recording artist — to talk about what it's actually like to take a creative passion seriously later in life. We get into Asian family ex...

Friendships in your 30s require something your school-age self never had to give: actual, deliberate effort. In this episode of Trying Very Hard , we sit down — just the two of us — to unpack something we've both been quietly navigating: adult friendships, and how much harder (and better!) they've become. We get into the transition from convenient friendships to intentional ones, how life...

She read 84 books in a year. And then she realized she was doing it wrong. In this episode of Trying Very Hard , we're joined by Raissa Smarasista (IG: @readwithraissa ) — UX researcher, part-time librarian at Casual Poet Library (IG: @casualpoetlibrary ), and one of our dearest friends — to talk about books, and the harder thing underneath: what it means to protect something you love from pro...

Why does career success sometimes feel underwhelming, even when you’ve hit the milestones? In this episode of Trying Very Hard , we explore quarter-life doubt, inherited ambition, and the quiet identity crisis that can surface in your 20s and 30s. Are we chasing our own ambitions, or living out someone else’s definition of success? And what shaped those dreams in the first place — family expectati...

Welcome to Trying Very Hard — a podcast about ambition, adulthood, identity, effort, and the messy beauty of caring deeply. We’re your hosts, Monica and Amanda, and in this first episode we share who we are, the stories that shaped us, what we're currently trying very hard at, and why we felt compelled to start this podcast now. We talk about our friendship, our careers, our insecurities, and...