Trends in Low Places

This week, Michael returns from the beautiful Greek isles to…this whole mess. The boys talk in depth about which children they could defeat in single combat, Cush expands your penile workout regimen, and we lament Ed Sheeran’s exit from Twitter. What’s On Weibo makes a tasty return. Bronzed Greek god [3:00] A helicopter dick for the modern era [12:00] Got a case of the munchies. [28:15] Magnum Ple...

This week, Cush stumbles upon a glitch in the Matrix and Michael comes to a stark realization about his tolerance for haunted children. We explore the secret history of the Bible, the imperfections of modern technology, and lament the kickboxing Predator that could have been. Somehow, we forgot to talk about porn AGAIN. Highlights include: The right time to punch your child [5:30] A cold key is a...

This week, we talk about onion ring conspiracies and start a fight with the whole dang animal kingdom. Michael introduces some real tight swimwear. Mike pitches a new pastime for bored rich people. We get in touch with our animal roots. Highlights include: The Ghost Babysitter's Club [2:00] Lorde of the O-rings [10:20] Pig with a full tummy. [16:05] The strength of 5 go-rillas! [28:15] How Now Cho...

This week, a listener submission turns into the horniest episode in this very dumb show’s history. Michael introduces the world’s favorite sex positions. Cush goes all-in on new chicken-ordering techniques. The boys explore the conspiracy at the end of all things. This episode contains: a lot of faces and a heaping helpin’ of porn. Turns out insects are animals. Who knew? [2:10] The Vin Diesel rol...

This week, the boys pull out all the stops and deliver potato-quality audio for their 25th episode. Michael explores innovative bacon options. Cush joins the ranks of chain-hating Millennials. In this week’s conspiracy theory, we crack the hollow shell of the Earth to explore its deepest mysteries. Back in the saddle. [2:20] The high price of Tom Hanks endorsements. [6:25] It’s getting hot in here...

One of our good, good boys was hunting raptors in Scotland this week, so Michael brought it some special guests to help him out. We did a real interview with one of the founders of the RompHim , and he pretended to like all of our design ideas. We closed out the show with some listener questions, where Michael was sure to remind everyone that penises do not, in fact, have a bone, Curtis reveals hi...

This week, the boys unashamedly become a conspiracy theory podcast. Cush explores the surge of power married people feel at the reins of a single person’s dating app. Michael investigates the horror that walks among us. Everyone learns a thing or two about the depth of human stupidity. Don’t Ken Bone the Rock. [2:25] Slipped a disc there, huh?. [8:35] Chicago continues to be the most dangerous cit...

This week, the boys take a shot at the original king of the male romper. Cush steps to the wrong side of history to defend Nickelback for some reason. Michael introduces two very insane conspiracy theories and receives assurance he’s just the prettiest boy. Shockingly, we talk a lot about butts again. Ghost riding your own whip. [1:45] The worst of men’s fashions. [3:40] Bros and Butts. [8:55] The...

The boys are back in action to chat drinking leagues, bad names for genitals, and the darkest secrets of our parents. Michael doesn’t trust our criminal jiu-jitsu system. Cush takes a trip among the stars and demands a Bill Clinton Animorph Experiment. We talk about being naked for maybe too long? Drinking league aggression. [1:35] No more front-bottoms and wee-wees. [7:40] A time and place to be...

This week, the boys celebrate Ja Rule’s return to the public eye and mourn our lost opportunity to sell dumb stuff to Instagram kids. Cush delves into the great Shaved Cat Mystery of 2017. Michael breaks down a meaty feud between Portland strip clubs. We all yell about “woke” commercials. The summer’s hottest jams.  [3:00] Fyre away! [8:45] Fake Woke Brands [17:45] Naked & Afraid: Honeymoon Editio...

This episode starts with Cush whiffing hard on pop culture and goes downhill from there. We investigate eels where the sun don’t shine, Michael tracks down the sickest beats on the planet, and Cush gets pretty worked up about British people. The boys talk a lot about butts, poop and murder. So... pretty standard episode. Smart Cities and Soft Lumber. [2:00] Eels in your bumbles. [6:00] Home witchd...

This week, the boys weigh the benefits of flying dildos. Michael wonders why Gwyneth Paltrow wants to shove bad things up vaginas, Mike relives tragic Easter memories, and we examine the darkness that lies in the hearts of men. No big deal. Uranus. Hehehe. [3:35] You’re a smart feller, I mean a fart smeller. [7:00] Cards Against Humanity, the ultimate barometer of cool. [7:55] Internet vigilantes,...

We watched Fate of the Furious, and y'all...well, we weren't sober. Please enjoy this rowdy breakdown of the newest installment of the finest movie franchise of this, or any, generation. Alternative episode titles include: Diesel Team One, Mr. Diesel If You Nasty, and Punching You In the Dick All Day.

This week, the boys discover there’s such a thing as too much bacon. Cush introduces your favorite new phrase. Michael explores Canada’s strategic porn reserve. Our Shanghai field reporter issues her first communiqué, and it’s killer. Everyone gets a Bible lesson. Sean Spicer’s Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Press Conference [2:40] Choke artists unite. [6:50] #JasonSegelEatMyFace [8:20] Berenstain Be...

We finally pulled off a live show, and it’s a banger. We talk about crackheads, the restorative properties of Publix chicken tenders. Michael investigates the greatest heist of all time. Cush betrays a severe misunderstanding of science, which should not surprise long-time listeners. The boys advocate healthy pee habits. Chicken tendies cure all ills. [1:45] The Highway Collapse of Northern Aggres...

Reunited, and it feels so, so good. This week, the boys swap fishing stories, ponder the impact of bringing an Xbox to an orgy, and yell at a train. Cush tries to get to the bottom of a dirty story, Michael explores why NBA players go so crazy, and the boys ask if fake news is ever OK. But really, we talk about an orgy for a very long time. Highlights include: Michael discovers the Big Chicken [3:...

The boys recorded this one last week, so we called our shot on a March Madness champion - we both missed by a country mile. Cush introduces the least necessary movie reboot of all time, Michael waxes poetic on religion, and we both talk about Pornhub. Maybe too much? Highlights include: The boys dunk on March Madness  PSA: Don't read and drive. Gladiator II: Fightin' 'Round the World We rank some...

Though half the duo was profoundly hungover, the boys turn in a real banger of an episode. Michael fixes healthcare, Cush takes a surprising stance on demonic possession, and What’s On Weibo makes a surprisingly non-sexy return. We celebrate the sacred tunes of Journey. Highlights include: Mike and Michael make bad choices [1:35] After All These Years, still Daylight Saving Time? [4:00] When You L...

This week, the boys discuss the merits of weaponizing the dang moon. Michael reveals what happens when sex technology goes too far, Cush teaches Michael a new word, and we explore some of the finest baby names this side of a trash pile. Highlights include: Cush is full of pink goo. [1:45] To the moon, Elon. [7:05] It’s about ethics in space rocks, Michael. [13:25] Wearable Technology in Low Places...

Ostensibly the hosts of a show about current events, the boys forget to talk about anything current or relevant. Cush struggles to accept a world in which a live-action Cinderella movie exists. Michael uncovers gnome-based meth economies, and we chat for far too long about alcoholic malt beverages. Better step back, friend – this is New Kids on the Block turf. Highlights include: Where carb bonanz...

Welcome to the episode so nice, we recorded it twice. This week, we delve deep into the secret history of the world (spoiler alert: everything is fake and nothing matters). Michael introduces us to a man of utmost conviction and infinite misfortune. Cush discovers his dumb brain is full of dumb movie quotes. We explore the most ineffective corporate training of all time. Highlights include: Turns...

We just watched John Wick Chapter 2, and felt it deserved its own episode. The boys examine John Wick's good, good murder, his thirst for vengeance, and celebrate that his dog survived until the end. Also, a dick may or may not have been chopped clean off. This has been Trends in John Wick Places, with your hosts John Wick and John Wick, with special guest, John Wick. 

Love is in the air, and this Valentine’s Days the boys whipped up one hell of a horny episode. The boys explore alternative condom applications, Cush recounts his limited sexual education, and Michael draws a hard line on poop pranks. We take our first radical steps down the Noble Eightfold Path. Highlights include: I left my heart (and shoes) in N’yaaahlins. [0:40] Condoms on your head. No, the o...

This week, the boys chat about the interpretative dancers who opened and closed the Lady Gaga concert. Michael votes with his wallet, Mike admits to some very light animal neglect in the name of love, and the boys explore alternative ocular health services. Also, BREAKING NEWS: Comcast is a garbage company with a garbage service. Super Bowl and The Wiser Bud [1:00] Where's the poop, Harry? [6:25]...

This week, the boys take a page out of the Indiana Jones playbook and get down to the important business of punching Nazis. Michael explores our grim future of pig-human hybrids, Mike ponders health food, and we play Smash Mouth for THE ABSOLUTE LAST TIME (don’t hold us to that). We get our mouths on the tastiest trend: the newest creation from the Taco Bell test kitchen. Highlights include: Micha...