Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationship

Welcome to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab, where high achievers, executives, and entrepreneurs explore relationship fitness, healing from relationship trauma, and creating secure, trusting, and loving partnerships. Designed for those navigating high-stakes careers and relationships, we dive into trauma-informed coaching, relationship wellbeing, and practical strategies to recover from trauma b...

In this podcast episode, we delve into the intriguing question: Do narcissists truly experience trauma bonds? Let's explore the intricate dynamics of trauma-bonded relationships, where you, as the vulnerable party, become entangled with a narcissistic abuser. Your deep desire to salvage the relationship, to avoid abandonment, leads to perpetual anxiety. Conversely, the narcissist employs a fa...

This podcast episode, I talk about the most dangerous person you can fall in love with and be in a relationship with. Chances are if you've been in a relationship with such an individual, you may have experienced a trauma bond (whether or not you know it).  This involves the concept of the "dark triad" personality traits. The dark triad comprises narcissism, Machiavellianism, and ps...

In this podcast episode, I delve into the intricate process of healing from the enduring pain inflicted by trauma-bonded relationships. The discussion revolves around the lingering emotional turmoil and deep-seated negative beliefs that often persist long after such relationships end. The episode underscores the profound impact of these beliefs on your sense of self-worth and identity. I emphasize...

On the contrary to what people believe, you do not stay in a trauma bonded relationship because you're "stupid" or "don't deserve better". You stay because your subconscious mind is activated and creates all of the reasons why you should stay. Here are 3 big reasons that your mind is telling you why it is better for you to stay, than to leave. Firstly, people stay in...

Welcome to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab, where high achievers, executives, and entrepreneurs explore relationship fitness, healing from relationship trauma, and creating secure, trusting, and loving partnerships. Designed for those navigating high-stakes careers and relationships, we dive into trauma-informed coaching, relationship wellbeing, and practical strategies to recover from trauma b...

Today I talk about 10 red flags  you better watch out for that are signs of a trauma bonded relationship: 1. Pace of the relationship - trauma bonded relationship tends to move super fast particularly due to the love bombing stage; while a stable relationship that is healthy in love moves at a slower and consistent pace. 2. Communication is difficult - the person who is an empath mutes themselves...

Welcome to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab, where high achievers, executives, and entrepreneurs explore relationship fitness, healing from relationship trauma, and creating secure, trusting, and loving partnerships. Designed for those navigating high-stakes careers and relationships, we dive into trauma-informed coaching, relationship wellbeing, and practical strategies to recover from trauma b...

Part 2 of how to heal from a trauma bond: 5 key exercises you can try out to begin your healing journey. Exercise 1: is all about somatic awareness. It's important to recognize that our unconscious and subconscious processes, which shape 95% of our behavior, are held in our bodies. When you feel triggered, pay attention to the physical sensations, like anxiety, in your stomach, chest, or thro...

Part 1 on how to heal from a trauma bond. The episode is divided into two parts, so please listen to both for full info!  In part 1 of this podcast episode, I delve into the topic of healing from a trauma bond.  Have you ever thought of "why am I hooked into this painful relationship of a trauma bond but other people aren't? Or that other people seem to have the confidence to walk away f...

In this podcast episode, I discuss the key to having a happy and healthy relationship, which is based on three pillars: my personal happiness, my partner's happiness, and the happiness of the relationship itself. The challenge lies in committing to these pillars and not falling into the trap of idealizing the relationship. Often, I may prioritize the relationship over my own well-being, sacri...

Have you ever felt really anxious about "if you're any good in bed"? Well, navigating sexual intimacy with a narcissist in a relationship can be challenging. Many individuals struggle with trying to satisfy their partner who is never content and always demands more. This understandably creates anxiety and performance pressure - you fall into a spiral of questioning yourself and your...

In this podcast episode, we explore the experience of being unable to move on from a past relationship. The lingering feelings of love and constant thoughts about the person indicate a level of relational trauma. Our attraction to people is often based on what they bring out in us, tapping into deep emotions and patterns. These patterns are often formed during childhood based on our experiences wi...

In this episode, we delve into the dynamics of difficult relationships where constant difficulties prevail - because here's the truth. There is always someone who is a rescuer, someone who is a victim, and someone who is a persecutor.  Chances are you have been a rescuer for a long time trying to save and fix people because they position themselves as a "victim". And if you don&apos...

In this podcast episode, I discuss the common fear of believing that nobody else would want to be in a relationship with oneself. I emphasize that this fear stems from feeling inadequate and unworthy, often due to experiences of criticism, rejection, or trauma in past relationships. We talk about the difference between mature love and immature love. Mature love is based on appreciating a partner&a...

In this podcast episode, I address the issue of low self-worth and offer you a four-step process to overcome it. Simply telling yourself to be more confident doesn't work and that the belief of not being good enough can be deeply ingrained due to past traumas, whether big or small. I challenge the common advice of loving yourself without needing the love of others, as it can feel frustrating...

In this podcast episode, I discuss the issue of outsourcing emotional regulation to a partner and provide three key points to address this problem. Firstly, it is important for you to be aware of your emotions. Take a moment to pause, identify, and label the emotions you are experiencing. This self-awareness empowers you to understand what is happening and take appropriate action. The second point...

In this episode, we talk about what it is like when your partner all of a sudden seems less interested, distant, and withdrawn and you might be left questioning: is my partner less interested in me or are they dealing with their own issues? My response is: does it matter? You get the same level of contact from them - less affection, care, and communication in the relationship Uncertainty you feel...

In this podcast episode, I explore the concept of cognitive dissonance in relationships. Cognitive dissonance arises when we hold opposing beliefs about a situation, causing a struggle to find resolution. Using the example of Jane, who justified her partner's infidelity and hurtful comments, I illustrate how trauma bonded relationships often lead us to rationalize harmful behavior. I delve in...

Welcome to Dr Sarah: Relationship Success Lab, where high achievers, executives, and entrepreneurs explore relationship fitness, healing from relationship trauma, and creating secure, trusting, and loving partnerships. Designed for those navigating high-stakes careers and relationships, we dive into trauma-informed coaching, relationship wellbeing, and practical strategies to recover from trauma b...

TRIGGER WARNING: Some reference to physical violence, domestic violence, aggression, and death. In this episode, the host is joined by John (alias), a former frontline police officer with experience in dealing with domestic violence cases. They discuss why people stay in abusive relationships from a police perspective, exploring both the legal and emotional aspects of the issue. John shares insigh...

In this captivating podcast episode, I delve into the intriguing topic of narcissism and explore why some individuals like yourself find people with narcissistic traits attractive. Throughout the episode, I focus on the fragile sense of self that narcissists possess and how they employ self-inflation as a defense mechanism. Together, we examine the underlying reasons for this attraction, such as t...

In today's episode, we delve into the topic of people-pleasing tendencies and why they can be a significant red flag. Many individuals, including myself, often find themselves falling into the trap of people-pleasing, yet admitting to this behavior can be challenging. However, acknowledging and understanding our traits and tendencies is crucial for personal growth and living authentically. Pe...

People who identify as empaths have commonly grown up in environments characterized by criticism, judgment, aggression, and threats. These experiences have led them to prioritize others and work tirelessly to ensure their happiness, often neglecting their own needs in the process. This subconscious programming takes root during childhood. When entering relationships, empaths continue to prioritize...

Support the show Welcome to Trauma Bonding to Secure Relationships with Dr Sarah — the podcast that helps ambitious individuals and couples heal trauma bonding and toxic relationship cycles to build secure attachments and loving healthy relationships. Hosted by Dr Sarah , psychologist, relationship strategist, and founder of Heal Trauma Bonding and Relationship Success Lab , this show guides you t...