TransPanTastic: Transgender parenting, work, marriage, transition, and life!

It still catches George off guard, on occasion, when he is treated like "just some dude". He wasn't raised with male socialization, so he still catches himself confused about expectations, even six years into transition. But observing other men, who were raised as male, and the disregard they seem to have had for others, makes both of us glad he knows what it's like to lack that privilege. We are...

Some weeks back, George's HRT prescription was changed from 200mg/ml to 100mg/ml, basically doubling the dose to achieve the same amount of a more diluted testosterone shot. It wasn't ideal, but it was the option available to him at the time. But in the intervening weeks, he has been more irritable, and irritability can be a side effect of HRT. Is the testosterone making him cranky, or is it just...

The last time George took Child#2 to scout camp, he was very newly transitioned, and understandably concerned about how his trans status would affect the experience. George is planning to take Child#2 to scout camp again soon. Are the boy scouts more manageable than the cub scouts? Will his trans status be a problem this time? Episode #125 - "Hey Mom! It Works!! (Scout Camp, Part 1)" Episode #126...

Everyone has a personal reality, and it's much easier to function in the world if your own reality is at least similar to the reality of those around you. In Episode 78 , George discussed how good it was to have someone validating that his reality was congruent with actual reality. Today we revisited that topic, discussing the realities of transition, coparenting with a toxic person, our kids' edu...

When George got his drivers license changed back in 2013, he needed a doctor's note and had two options. Many states are new increasing their number of options for documentation of gender, and Jess is finally getting their license changed too, with significantly fewer barriers to access. Now that they have an accurate identity document, how many other records will they be able to change, and will...

When George took Child#2 to the therapist this week, he made sure to address his supposed fears regarding gender as discussed last episode. Aside from some confusion that his other mom had likely caused by over-explaining in words and concepts that are above his cognitive level, he wasn't actually scared about gender. He was, however, using that as an attention-getting tactic with his other mom to...

We knew that George's ex was going to start trouble again. Just like she will again after that, and again after that, in an unending cycle of attention-seeking false accusations until the child we coparent is grown, and probably even a few attempts thereafter. But what we didn't expect, was the issue she'd pick to make trouble over this time. Transgender parents often have to worry about custody c...

We went to San Francisco for Pride, but skipped Pride. Instead, we attended Trans March and Dyke March, and enjoyed ourselves on Cousin Vinnie's boat. Trans March was wonderful, Dyke March was super, and the houseboat was quite pleasant, but we also had Child#2 to manage, and that always makes things a little more challenging. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone w...

What do we like about each other? Why are we still happy together after almost a decade? What is it about Jess that makes George's time and effort worthwhile? What is it about George that keeps Jess coming back home every night? We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by c...

Communication is integral to a functioning relationship and a lasting marriage. After almost a decade together, you'd think we'd have figured out how to effectively discuss relational things like food, chores, or sex. And after six years of transition, you'd think we'd be able to successfully deal with things like HRT and sex. On both of these counts, you'd be wrong. We are here to share our entir...

There have been intermittent shortages of various types of HRT in the past year or so, and when George had to refill his most recent prescription he had a heck of a time trying to get what he needed. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question ano...

There's this thing that happens every year as summer approaches. Kids get antsy, and we have to work harder to help them stay out of trouble. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But even more important than that: is pneumonia gendered? We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let...

Socializing at work is a common way to build a sense of teamwork, and taking time to do it can cognitively hit the reset button on one's levels of effort and engagement with assigned tasks. The way that George is expected to socialize at work is different when he's perceived as male, from how it was prior to transition. Engaging with "the guys" is still a new experience, but he's getting the hang...

George hasn't had a chance to get to the gym as much as he'd like, for the past few years. With all the stress he's been under, it's no wonder. But as things have become less stressful, he's still struggled to find the motivation to get back, and he began to examine his motives for going or not going, and discovered, among parenting and other things, gender dysphoria. We are here to share our enti...

(...with a "Z".) We are responsible for children, and occasionally for people who are chronologically adults but act like children. George dislikes fifth grade homework, and history class is giving Child#2 fits too. With history presentations coming up, our kids and their classmates give us hope for the gendered future. Child#2's other mom is unhealthy to interact with, but is manageable when Geor...

George finally had that interview he's been preparing for, and noticed once again that he was treated with a type of respect he never got when he was presenting as a butch lesbian. When we had other guy friends over, who had also previously identified as butch lesbians, they related similar experiences. When Jess joined them, George explained that his wife really isn't a girl, and they were cool....

Are there rabbits on Gallifrey? Do they make trails? What color are they, under the orange sky, eating the red grass by trees with silver foliage? And does any of this relate to our experience at this year's Gallifrey One convention? Not really, and neither do ST:TNG, being gendered at work, giving ungendered gifts, facial hair styling, being assumed gay until proven otherwise, how cis folk all lo...

If you can't finish that adage, let your favorite search engine's autofill help. It's a terribly heteronormative statement, but we still live in a terribly heteronormative culture. George's mustache is funny, but reinforces his masculine privilege. So does being a sportsball fan, which is interpreted completely differently now that folks perceive him as male. Life is good, but weird. We are here t...

When a government agency insists that all of its employees attend "LGBTQ Sensitivity Training", the results could be great or not-so-great. When George is one of said employees, you know we're going to talk about it. We'll also talk about the amazing upcoming Gallifrey One convention, preparing child care plans for parental escape, and pronoun ribbons ! We are here to share our entire intersection...

Continuing our month of stories, we recount how our early shared experiences shaped how we interact with one another. What did menopausal George lose his mind over? Why did Jess freak out at a Hanukkah party? We'll find that it's true, sometimes a jello is just a jello. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you conne...

Some while ago we discussed how we met over on Gender Rebels. Today we fleshed that story out a little more. Professional lesbians, f*ckbuddies at a cookout, crazy non-girlfriends, and a terrible movie ensue. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-que...

We've discussed many times how George is able to accomplish more now, since everyone recognizes him as a man, than he could before transition. Whether that affected his ability to hold his ground with Child#2's other mom, who has known him for over two decades, may never be determined but it worked anyway. Now if he could just use that privilege to get the old guys at the gym to respect the female...

The neighbors invited us over for drinks, and we discussed many progressive topics, including trans folks. They are older, and not generally aware of the "right" way to discuss things, but they are also not entirely wrong in their understanding of the world. Child#2's other mom has been off and on the attack, and Jess keeps making predictions that they hope to be wrong, but generally aren't. Fifth...

Between cooking for Friendsgiving and repairing unbroken Christmas decor, George encountered a transphobe at work. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymous survey at  vote.pollcode.com/32371374 . If you have a request/suggestion that...

As we observed some family celebrations and prepared for the upcoming holidays, we enjoyed the company and assistance of friends and family who know how to make a good joke. #TransLOLs were had. We are here to share our entire intersectional experience with anyone who finds it beneficial, but we want to know what you connect with the most. You can let us know by clicking to a one-question anonymou...