Touring History

TOURING HISTORY PODCAST SCRIPT June 12th, 2025 - Episode 49     LANE: Welcome back to Touring History, the podcast where we discover that every single day in the past was somehow both completely inevitable and totally bananas. I'm Lane. DAVE: And I'm Dave, and before we dive into today's emotional rollercoaster of human achievement and catastrophe, we need to talk about something that's been consi...

TOURING HISTORY PODCAST SCRIPT June 11th, 2025 - Episode 48     DAVE: Welcome back to Touring History, where we prove that literally every single day in the past was somehow both completely predictable and absolutely insane. I'm Dave. LANE: And I'm Lane, and before we dive into today's collection of "how did humans survive this long," we need to talk about something that actually makes sense in th...

TOURING HISTORY PODCAST SCRIPT June 10th, 2025 - Episode 47     LANE: Welcome back to Touring History, the podcast where we discover that every day in history was somehow both more boring and more insane than you'd expect. I'm Lane. DAVE: And I'm Dave, and before we dive into today's buffet of historical chaos, we need to talk about something that actually matters—good food. Today's episode is bro...

TOURING HISTORY PODCAST - JUNE 5TH SCRIPT Estimated Runtime: 10-12 minutes     OPENING / SPONSOR INTRODUCTION LANE: Welcome to Touring History, the only podcast brave enough to tackle the chaos of June 5th while caffeinated beyond human limits. I'm Lane. DAVE: And I'm Dave. Before we dive into today's historical mayhem, we need to talk about our sponsor, Death Wish Coffee. Now, I know what you're...

TOURING HISTORY PODCAST - JUNE 4TH SCRIPT Episode Runtime: 10-12 minutes Hosts: Lane & Dave     OPENING / SPONSOR INTRO LANE: Welcome back to Touring History, the podcast where we take a leisurely stroll through the past and somehow always end up running for our lives from the sheer chaos of human existence. I'm Lane. DAVE: And I'm Dave, your co-pilot on this journey through time, armed with nothi...

TOURING HISTORY PODCAST - JUNE 3RD SCRIPT (10-15 MINUTES) Co-hosts: Lane & Dave     OPENING & SPONSOR INTRO LANE: Welcome back to Touring History, where we dig through the calendar like archaeologists with abandonment issues. I'm Lane. DAVE: And I'm Dave, and before we dive into today's historical buffet of chaos, let's talk about today's sponsor - Death Wish Coffee. Now, I know what you're thinki...

TOURING HISTORY PODCAST - JUNE 2ND SCRIPT INTRO MUSIC FADES LANE: Welcome back to Touring History, where we take the past and try to make sense of it, which is like trying to assemble IKEA furniture without the instructions - technically possible, but someone's definitely going to get hurt. I'm Lane. DAVE: And I'm Dave, and June 2nd is basically history's way of saying, "You thought yesterday was...

TOURING HISTORY PODCAST - JUNE 1ST SCRIPT INTRO SEGMENT LANE: Welcome back to Touring History, the podcast where we dig through the dusty archives of human civilization so you don't have to. I'm Lane. DAVE: And I'm Dave, still wondering why we thought becoming history podcasters was a good career move when TikTok exists. LANE: Today we're exploring June 1st throughout history, a date that's seen e...

TOURING HISTORY PODCAST - MAY 29TH SCRIPT Co-hosts: Lane & Dave Sponsor: Legends Athletic Wear (Legends.com)     OPENING LANE: Welcome back to Touring History, the podcast where we prove that literally anything can happen on any given day, and somehow we're qualified to talk about it. I'm Lane. DAVE: And I'm Dave, a man who just discovered that Constantinople fell on the same day someone climbed M...

TOURING HISTORY PODCAST - MAY 30TH SCRIPT Co-hosts: Lane & Dave Sponsor: Legends Athletic Wear (Legends.com)     OPENING LANE: Welcome back to Touring History, the podcast where we prove that literally every day in history was somehow both completely bonkers and weirdly predictable. I'm Lane. DAVE: And I'm Dave, still trying to figure out why we agreed to do this show when we could have just start...

🎙️ TOURING HISTORY PODCAST: MAY 16TH EDITION  COLD OPEN (VO): LANE (VO): May 16th: The day Marie Antoinette got hitched, Mentos made us bold, and lasers were born—not for science, but to amuse cats. Let's tour some history.     LANE: Welcome to Touring History, the podcast where we pretend to be historians because we once watched The History Channel at 3 AM while eating cold pizza. DAVE: And just...

🎙️ TOURING HISTORY PODCAST – MAY 17TH EDITION (REVISED) 🎧 COLD OPEN (VO) LANE (VO): May 17th: A stock exchange is born under a tree, a magician fights ad mind control, and Nike turns the Beatles into a jingle. This is history—on sneakers.     🎶 INTRO MUSIC FADES IN LANE: Welcome back to Touring History, the podcast where we explore what happened on this day throughout history... and pretend we r...

TOURING HISTORY BY LANE & DAVE:  MAY 15TH EDITION INTRO [Intro music plays] LANE: Well, hello there, history enthusiasts and people who accidentally clicked on this podcast thinking it was something else. Welcome to Touring History, where we pretend to be experts on things that happened before we were born. I'm Lane... DAVE: And I'm Dave. Today is May 15th, 2025, and we're back with our signature...

TOURING HISTORY BY LANE & DAVE: MAY 14TH EDITION INTRO [Intro music plays] LANE: Well, well, well... welcome to another edition of Touring History, where we pretend to know what we're talking about by just reading stuff off the internet. I'm Lane... DAVE: And I'm Dave. Today is May 14th, 2025, and we're here with our usual blend of birthdays, history, and whatever else we found on Wikipedia last n...

"TOURING HISTORY" - MAY 13th  INTRO LANE: Welcome back to "Touring History," because let's be honest - you're really procrastinating and this quick podcast is here to help! I'm Lane... DAVE: And I'm Dave. We're here to help you waste time, talking about things from times long ago.  And who knows…maybe you'll chuckle a few times…but no guarantees! LANE: Today is May 13th, 2025, and as always, we're...

"TOURING HISTORY" - MAY 12th THROUGHOUT HISTORY INTRO LANE: Welcome back to "Touring History," the show where we pretend to know what we're talking about while fumbling through the past. I'm Lane... DAVE: And I'm Dave. We're your guides through the twisted highways of history, where we make wrong turns constantly. LANE: Today is May 12th, 2025, and as always, we're looking back at all the signific...

"TOURING HISTORY" - MAY 11th THROUGHOUT HISTORY INTRO LANE: Welcome back to "Touring History," the show where we pretend to know what we're talking about while fumbling through the past. I'm Lane... DAVE: And I'm Dave. We're your guides through the twisted highways of history, where we make wrong turns constantly. LANE: Today is May 11th, 2025, and as always, we're looking back at all the signific...

🎙️ TOURING HISTORY PODCAST – MAY 17TH EDITION 🎧 COLD OPEN (VO) LANE (VO): May 17th: A stock exchange is born under a tree, a magician fights ad mind control, and Nike turns the Beatles into a jingle. This is history—on sneakers.     🎶 INTRO MUSIC FADES IN LANE: Welcome back to Touring History, the podcast where we explore what happened on this day throughout history... and pretend we remember an...

TOURING HISTORY PODCAST - MAY 10TH EDITION LANE: Well, hello there! Welcome back to "Touring History," the podcast where we talk about stuff that happened before you were born. I'm Lane... DAVE: And I'm Dave. Today is May 10th, 2025, and we're about to recall a bunch of things that happened on this day throughout history. Because, you know, that's our whole deal. LANE: That's right, Dave. May 10th...

TOURING HISTORY PODCAST - MAY 9TH EDITION  INTRO MUSIC FADES IN (BUT NOT QUITE ALL THE WAY) LANE: Hey, how are ya? Welcome back to this thing we call "Touring History," the podcast where we talk about old stuff that happened. I'm Lane... DAVE: And I'm Dave. Today is May 9th, 2025, and we're about to dive into a bunch of things that happened on this day throughout history. You know, because that's...

TOURING HISTORY PODCAST - MAY 8TH EDITION INTRO MUSIC FADES IN LANE: Hey there, history enthusiasts! Welcome to another episode of Touring History, where we stroll through the museum of time with no admission fee. I'm Lane... DAVE: And I'm Dave. Today is May 8th, 2025, and we've got a jam-packed tour of history for you today, folks. LANE: That's right, Dave. May 8th is one of those days where hist...

TOURING HISTORY PODCAST - MAY 7TH EDITION INTRO MUSIC FADES IN LANE: Hey there, history buffs! Welcome to another episode of Touring History, where we ramble through the dusty corridors of time like we're on some kind of weird vacation. I'm Lane... DAVE: And I'm Dave. Today is May 7th, 2025, and boy oh boy, do we have some history to tour through today. LANE: You know what's great about history, D...

🎙️ TOURING HISTORY with Lane & Dave – May 6 Edition LANE: Welcome back to Touring History! I'm Lane. DAVE: And I'm Dave! LANE (with escalating intensity): It's May 6th, and while you were busy wondering if it's too late to return that Star Wars merchandise from two days ago, history has been absolutely LOSING ITS MIND on this date! We've got explosions in the sky! Cities being ransacked! A man run...

🎙️ TOURING HISTORY with Lane & Dave – May 5 Edition LANE: Welcome back to Touring History! I'm Lane. DAVE: And I'm Dave! LANE (with mounting incredulity): It's May 5th, and while millions of Americans are busy celebrating with tequila shots despite having absolutely NO IDEA what Cinco de Mayo actually commemorates, history has been having an absolute field day with this date! We've got space trave...

🎙️ TOURING HISTORY with Lane & Dave – May 4 Edition Hi I'm Lane And I'm Dave!  And this is : Touring history LANE:     LANE (with exasperated glee): It's May 4th, and yes, that means it's "May the Fourth Be With You" for the Star Wars crowd, but history doesn't care about your puns. History's got riots, disasters, viral marketing and viral viruses, all packed into a single day. Strap in.     🎉 Bi...