Touching Grass

Why do some men believe they deserve a girlfriend simply because they've worked on themselves? In this episode I discuss how self-improvement can turn into entitlement, why rejection can threaten our sense of self-worth, how we’ve started treating love like a transaction, and why real connection requires accepting that someone has the freedom to choose you, or not to. ⸻ 🎧 LISTEN ON THE PODCAS...

Social media tells us what love looks like and requires, so then why are we all still miserable? In this episode I discuss what social media tells us about love, how applying universal love rules is harmful, what my parents’ 30-year marriage taught me about love, how to define compatibility for yourself, and how to figure out what you want in a partner. ⸻ 🎧 LISTEN ON THE PODCAST Listen on Spotify...

Are tradwives desperate pick me's or is there something deeper to the appeal? In today's episode, I explore the hidden emotions that might be driving the appeal of traditional gender roles, from the desire to feel chosen and find purpose to the burnout of modern life. As part of my new Unfinished Thoughts series, I question my own assumptions to explore why more women are drawn to this lif...

Dating coaches are using your vulnerabilities to make you subconsciously absorb harmful dating advice. We've all been left hurt at some point while dating, but if dating advice is supposed to make dating easier, why are people lonelier and struggling more than ever in the current dating market? In today's episode I discuss how trying to minimize your dating pain can start with genuine advi...

Is social media helping you gain more knowledge, or just making you reliant on someone else's thoughts? In this episode, we explore why consuming intelligent, nuanced content on platforms like Substack doesn’t necessarily make us independent thinkers, and how easily we can absorb someone else’s worldview without realizing it. We’ll unpack the psychology behind influence, the difference between...

What if you spent your whole life chasing success, only to realize you never actually wanted the life you built? It’s easy to confuse money, luxury, social media aesthetics, and status with fulfillment. But what if the version of success you’re chasing was never actually yours? In this episode, we’re talking about social media, lifestyle expectations, self-improvement, self-discovery, and the pres...

Looksmaxxing promises to make dating easier, but looks can’t solve the parts of dating that actually matter. It’s tempting to believe that changing your appearance is the shortcut to attracting more women, but compatibility requires so much more than looking the part. In this episode, we’re talking about looksmaxxing, dating, self-improvement, attractiveness, social media, optimization culture, an...

Convenience culture promises to make life easier, but what if all that convenience is making us lonelier? From food delivery and AI to friendships that require more effort than we’re used to, we’ve started treating inconvenience as something to avoid, even when that effort is what creates connection. Let’s talk about convenience culture, community, loneliness, social connection, optimization cultu...

Saying “all men are trash” might feel like a way to protect yourself from bad dating experiences, but what if it’s actually lowering your standards? When you’ve been treated badly enough, basic respect can start to feel like the world instead of a requirement. In this episode, we’re talking about dating standards, the bare minimum, unhealthy relationships, modern dating, and how your past experien...

Sometimes you think you know who you are and then all of sudden life changes and you feel like you lost your sense of identity and worth. This happened to me after going from being a student to being unemployed. Lost, confused, insecure, and left with nothing but the core of who I am. When life changes it's easy to feel like you're losing yourself, but why does that happen? And how do we prevent t...

Protecting your peace, setting boundaries, and putting yourself first have become some of the most popular pieces of relationship advice online. But can protecting your peace actually cost you connection? 0:00 love is doing things you don’t like 1:18 when protecting yourself becomes isolation 2:43 what makes someone matter to you 3:47 what if compromise can feel good? 4:39 love changes what you en...

0:00 am i running out of ideas? 1:16 where do ideas come from anyways? 2:25 my podcast altered my creativity 3:49 is creativity separate from ourselves? 4:57 the discipline of creation 6:03 it’s good to be bad 7:17 training your brain to think 8:42 the over reliance on inspiration 10:25 changing your mind changes your life 11:46 create without being creative What if you're not running out of i...

0:00 why it's so easy to hate yourself 1:29 you're spreading beauty standards 2:32 is plastic surgery transparency harmful? 4:05 how insecurity spreads 5:30 we are the new media 7:08 the double-edged sword of validation 7:56 your words become your mindset (high school story) 9:52 your inner dialogue is contagious 11:14 a million voices in your head 11:58 changing the conversation 13:05 becoming th...

0:00 sperm goes to egg? 1:13 how being passive limits you 2:34 the lie of 'attract, don't chase' 3:30 i made the first move 6:03 chasing vs desperation 7:34 you’re not the prize (neither is he) 8:37 nyc story: when nobody makes the first move 11:35 interest does not equal action 12:22 there is no “chooser” 13:29 bridgerton & the illusion of choice 14:54 dating isn’t a game of caring less "Don'...

0:00 a harmful or helpful label? 1:16 i was the pick me 2:53 the stereotype that created me 4:08 the labels original empowerment 5:22 the problematic shift 6:23 was that pick me of me? 7:19 women are allowed to like things 9:27 women can never win 10:07 limiting what a woman can be 13:03 destroying the mold Pick me. Choose me. Love me. The word pick me has taken the internet by storm and has helpe...

You hear an idea online, someone finally puts it into words, and suddenly you believe it explains everything, but what if those words are shaping the way you see the world? This episode explores why everyone online sounds the same, how language shapes our emotions and worldview, and why relying on someone else to articulate your thoughts can be dangerous💚 ⏱️ CHAPTERS & TIME STAMPS 00:00 why e...

0:00 Confidence Is a Choice Not a Feeling 1:07 The Moment Most People Quit 2:11 Confidence Is Not the Absence of Insecurity 4:17 Confidence Is Remembering Your Why 5:45 Why Negativity as Fuel Fails 7:34 How to Fail Without Being a Failure 8:37 Choosing the Delusional Voice 10:50 Your Flop Era Leads to Success 11:44 Closing You don't need to feel confident to make the confident choice. That's the b...

0:00 how feeling ugly set me free 1:44 the problem with beauty-based confidence 3:14 not caring about looks is freeing 5:13 obsession with beauty prevents living 5:43 beauty as a form of control 7:33 beauty as a form of power 8:19 feeling ugly is empowering 9:30 your body as a vehicle for experience 10:12 self-love shouldn’t be tied to looks 11:12 removing the weight of words The beauty industry t...

0:00 Introduction 1:40 unbothered vs performance 2:53 nothing is about you 3:50 shifting your mindset 5:13 unbothered isn’t not caring 6:52 sitting in discomfort 8:38 it’s okay to not be liked 11:05 everything is a projection of preference 13:14 learning to regulate 14:04 arriving to unbothered Everyone wants to be unbothered. To stop overthinking texts. To stop taking rejection personally. To sto...

0:00 introduction 1:47 why the world feels extreme 2:51 how controversy helped me 5:02 reality tv example 5:45 belief through repetition 7:51 cancel culture doesn't work 9:32 why politics feel extreme 11:32 the need for balance 13:46 staying informed vs amplification 15:12 your attention is power The internet is constantly complaining about extreme people. The influencers with outrageous opini...

0:00 introduction 1:40 why it feels empowering 3:01 the contradicting message 3:43 why you actually feel safe 8:03 femininity in nature 11:39 ballet as an example 13:02 taking back control 14:22 the dependency on men 17:09 final thoughts Being in your feminine energy. Finding a man who lets you relax. Finally leaving survival mode behind. It's one of the most popular ideas on the internet righ...

This week on Touching Grass, we’re talking about beans… but not really. From “BeanTok” to avocado toast, this episode dives into how certain foods, styles, slang, and trends suddenly become “cool” once they’re adopted by the mainstream, while the communities who created them are still judged, stereotyped, or erased. As a Latina, I wanted to explore the deeper layers behind trends: Who gets to deci...

Turning 25 as a single woman on the internet apparently means I’m “expired.”So in this episode of Touching Grass, I decided to talk about it. Not just the ridiculous online discourse around women aging, dating, and “market value,” but the real lessons about love, relationships, heartbreak, situationships, timing, and self-worth that I’ve learned over the past 25 years. This is probably the most pe...

There’s a fear a lot of us carry but rarely say out loud. The fear of being seen as a failure. In this episode of Touching Grass, I open up about what it feels like to be in a pause in life that doesn’t look like progress from the outside, especially when you’ve spent years moving from goal to goal, identity to identity, and suddenly find yourself in a chapter that feels uncertain, invisible, and...

The internet is obsessed with being “nonchalant.” Don’t care too much. Don’t try too hard. Don’t text first. Don’t be cringe. But in this episode of Touching Grass, we break down why the online obsession with looking cool, detached, and emotionally unavailable is actually rooted in insecurity; and how the fear of being judged is stopping people from becoming who they want to be. Because the truth...