Toddler Purgatory

We asked those in our Facebook group how they maintain friendships with childless friends. The answers ranged from hilarious to heartbreaking. Keeping childless friends in our lives involves self-reflection, perspective taking, FaceTime, texting, and roller skating. Oh, and, unfortunately, "hard pants." In this episode, Molly and Blaire discuss: How maintaining friendships with childless friends i...

It’s the most relaxing 24 hours of the year! What’s your one wish, moms? Breakfast in bed? Lunch in bed? Dinner in bed? Oh, all day in bed. That’s actually an excellent wish… In this special Mother’s Day episode, Molly and Blaire interview their own mothers to find out what their mothers wished were different in their own time and how they view motherhood today. In this episode, Molly’s and Blaire...

Just a heads up: this episode mentions the correct anatomical names for private body parts, as well as mention of good and bad touches. Help! My child is playing whipping it out at the playground and I don't know what to do! Before you crawl into a hole, take a listen to this episode and let Molly and Blaire share some tips for talking to kids about private body parts without stigma or euphemisms....

"Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom." The call of the wild toddler rouses us from the deepest sleep. It's nice to be needed, right? Well, not CONSTANTLY. You do have a life, after all. (You do have a life, right?) It may seem like your toddler is unable to play alone, but that's not unusual. Teaching your kid to entertain himself is a process, and luckily there are some methods you can use to make that process a...

Why is it that kids are so darn honest? Turns out the "filter" that the rest of us try to apply to our everyday interactions just doesn't exist in our young ones. Their little brains aren't capable of fabricating lies like older kids and adults. And, as we all know, the constant honesty of little kids is a double-edged sword. Listeners wrote in with some of the most ruthless truths their toddlers...

All parents look forward to the day when they can get their kids out of diapers once and for all, but when it comes to potty training the process is rarely a straight line. In our Facebook group a listener wrote in to say: I'm a first-time mom to an almost 3-year-old. We started potty training and I am starting to understand why some animals eat their young. Our very strong-willed daughter seems t...

Any one who has had a toddler knows the terror that surfaces whenever a lovey (let's say Mr. Bunny) goes missing. About 60% of babies adopt some sort of transitional object at around 9 months old. This is when little ones start to separate from parents (and, in fact, when they begin to understand that their parent is a separate person). Once a kid bonds with "Mr. Bunny", you may worry they'll be t...

Educators have long known that bringing therapy animals like dogs into schools helps developmentally-challenged kids learn. Now they're finding that all children can benefit from the presence of a nonjudgmental pal with paws. Pets don't just help children learn. There are actually a lot of benefits to bringing pets of all different types into your home when your kids are young. We'll walk you thro...

Little kids may be cute, but boy, are they self-centered. Turns out that’s how they’re wired: the egocentrism of toddlers gives them confidence to explore and express themselves. But it also can make them a tad inflexible about points of view that might differ from their own.  In this episode, we discuss:  A theory as to why little kids may be terrible at hiding Where experts agree (and disagree)...

True listening requires true presence. But in the household whirlwind that is life with little ones, sitting and eye-contacting and breathing deeply, in order to fully take in a monologue about "Dinosaur Train," has its challenges. In this episode, we discuss how giving our kids the gift of empathetic listening can benefit them throughout their lives how to practice "active listening" how what kid...

Why are kids so weird about washing hands and brushing teeth and taking baths? How often do kids really need to bathe, anyway? Is hygiene a battle worth fighting? Yes. Sometimes. In this episode we discuss the expert advice on how often kids need to get clean, plus our own tips for making it fun or interesting enough that our kids will go along with it. Here are links to some writing on the topic...

Remember the other important relationship in your life? The person you decided to build a life with? Parent alongside, for better and for worse?  After kids arrive and take over your lives, it can suddenly feel more like you’re angry co-workers at a 24/7 daycare. That part gets better with time. But experts say we need to nurture our marriages along with our children, so there’s an “us” left when...

Ever find yourself saying the same thing over and over to your kids? The answer isn’t to yell louder, as tempting as that can be. It might be more effective to consider the true capabilities of our kids at the stages they are at, and look at whether it might be our expectations that need a slight adjustment. Once you’ve done that? You’re a “gentle parent.” Sarah Ockwell-Smith, parenting expert and...

Kids today only spend half as much time playing outside as we did. It can be a hassle to get them bundled up and to the playground on a drizzly spring afternoon– or to clean half the floors in your house after a trip to your own snowy backyard. But there are many skills that kids gain both from self-directed and “purposeful play,” and experts say that's particularly true when that play happens out...

Finding our balance as working parents is a double challenge. It's not just about being a great parent while maintaining a job; it's about being great at that job while also being a parent. In this episode, we discuss: scheduling our time so we have time for work, parenting, and "non-mom stuff" creating systems for "pain points" finding the optimal amount of childcare support managing our own expe...

We're all muddling through right now, and while we are definitely Team Lowered Standards at this time, there's only so many viewings of Encanto a parent can withstand. Here are some easy, fun ways to change things up around the house and keep things fun. From cleanup races to "spooky baths," our listeners have some great ideas, and in this episode we discuss them all! Special thanks to our sponsor...

Sometimes little kids lack the ability to express their frustration, fear, and anger in words. That’s usually when they decide to whack the other 3-year-old with the toy dump truck, instead of pleasantly sharing.  Experts say aggression often gets a little better once kids can express themselves verbally– although not always, if what goes on in our houses is any indication.  In this episode we dis...

Have you filled out our listener survey? Help us bring you sponsors you'll love! http://bit.ly/ToddlerPurgatorySurvey Temper tantrums are the way that young children express emotions they are not developmentally able to express in other ways. Does knowing that the kicking and screaming is completely developmentally appropriate make it any easier for parents to deal with? Sometimes.  In this episod...

If you're enjoying listening to Toddler Purgatory, we'd love for you to take our listener survey. One page, two minutes. We promise! http://bit.ly/ToddlerPurgatorySurvey “Making memories” with our kids is always a fraught proposition, but when they’re checking for the elf every morning and whipped into a general holiday frenzy, the tears and tantrums are often pretty close to the surface.  Child...

If you have more than one kid, you are pretty familiar with sibling rivalry. The constant squabbling can drive us nuts, but it’s important to remember that it’s less about whatever toy they’re fighting over at the moment than about birth order, family dynamics, and their competing desires for our attention. We can’t stop the bickering forever, but there are ways to minimize conflict and maximize p...

If you're enjoying listening to Toddler Purgatory, we'd love for you to take our listener survey. One page, two minutes. We promise! http://bit.ly/ToddlerPurgatorySurvey When we hear our kids say something negative about themselves, sometimes we freak out a little. Where did they hear this? Where is this coming from? Who is messing with my baby? ! Most often, if a kid calls herself “stupid” becau...

The list of typical parenting fears is longer than a CVS receipt, and for us, researching this episode didn’t exactly make that list shorter. Turns out there are big picture, hypothetical fears, most common before the baby actually arrives; there are societally imposed, nightly-news sort of fears; and for most of us, a few more “I know this sounds crazy but” fears, which we have made up all on our...

Regression is what happens when a child revisits an earlier stage of his or her development– and behaves accordingly. Paradoxically, regression can happen right after a child makes a developmental leap or meets a new milestone. Dr. Tovah Klein, director of the Barnard College Center for Toddler Development, suggests that regression is a manifestation of the constant push-and-pull little kids feel...

Why are parents so tired all the time? Perhaps it’s the whole not sleeping thing. But a recent study on maternal exhaustion found that perfectionism is also a huge factor. In other words, we run ourselves ragged making things nice for our loved ones, and then are too exhausted to enjoy those things ourselves.  In this episode, we talk about how our exhaustion affects our parenting, how the pandemi...

Transitions are hard for little kids, and it’s not hard to see why: they usually move a kid from something that they’re absorbed in and enjoying to something a lot less interesting and fun. In this episode we talk about how to deal with the meltdowns, talking back, and general resistance around transitions, and how to make those moments easier, whether it’s a “big picture” transition like starting...