Toddler Purgatory

What do we do when our kid lies to our face? At a certain age, kids start discovering that they can just, well, not tell the truth about things. This can range from innocent fibs to whopping lies of grandiose proportions. Though this be mini madness, there is mini method in it. Molly and Blaire discuss: The various reasons kids lie How to gently approach your kid about their lies When it may be ti...

How do we form a strong bond with our kids when we're struggling with our own issues, when we've just been through a worldwide pandemic, when we used to have that bond but have lost it somewhere along the way? It's not easy, but there are some tried-and-true methods *ahem, therapy* for forming or reforming a close bond with your child. Molly and Blaire discuss: Things that can get in the way of th...

Do you feel overwhelmed when you're parenting solo, even if it's just for a few days? You're not alone. Solo parenting (not to be confused with single parenting) is tough, but there are small ways you can make a big impact on the experience, bringing down your blood pressure and your DEFCON level at the same time. Blaire and Molly discuss: The difference between a solo parent and a single parent W...

We asked our listeners what they would pay good money for if it made their lives just a touch easier. The answers....will probably not surprise you. In this episode, Molly and Blaire plot to patent: Self-buckling seatbelts Eyeball cameras Toddler volume buttons Thanks to everyone who wrote in with their excellent ideas for these inventions! Special thanks to our sponsors for this month: AprilAire...

What do you do when you and your partner disagree about parenting styles? How does it affect your kids, and how do you manage to get on the same page as your co-parent? A listener wrote in to say: "I'm an expat mom in Europe with a husband from another European country. And sometimes it's really hard to find my bearings when there are so many styles and ways to parent. I wanted to ask if you could...

The list of typical parenting fears is longer than a CVS receipt, and for us, researching this episode didn’t exactly make that list shorter. Turns out there are big-picture hypothetical fears, most common before the baby actually arrives; there are societally imposed, nightly-news sort of fears; and for most of us, a few more “I know this sounds crazy but” fears, which we have made up all on our...

When did kids' birthday parties become such a big to-do? Why do we celebrate birthdays in the first place? What sound does a clown make? Blaire's and Molly's sons are both turning six within five days of each other, so listen in as they party plan and take a trip down memory lane about their own birthdays growing up. Blaire and Molly discuss: Memorable birthdays from their childhoods The average p...

Wine and cheese at the playground? Naps outside? Recess every hour? There are a lot of intriguing child-rearing strategies from all over the world, some that to us Am-urr-icans seem like common sense, and some that seem a little more out-of-the-box... Molly and Blaire discuss: Blaire's travels to England Outside naps in Nordic countries Déjeuner à la France Here are links to some of the resources...

We asked the #todpurgs listeners: what are the things your parents said that you SWORE you'd never say to your own kids– and yet still do? You all brought the answers... and here are some of our faves. #parentingonrepeat #YouGotMcDonaldsMoney Here is the link to the article Molly and Blaire reference in the episode: Charlotte Hilton Andersen for Redbook Magazine: "21 Things Parents Used to Say Tha...

How do we know if the emotional ups and downs of post-partum life are normal reactions to new motherhood or a treatable medical condition? And why is it so hard to talk about these feelings? Molly and Blaire speak about their own post-partum experiences and do a little digging on what the difference between these two phenomena really is. In this episode, Molly and Blaire discuss: Signs of clinical...

In this episode, Blaire and Molly pal around with their comedian friends Kate Zelensky and Cody Lindquist. They exchange knock-knock jokes, lament about times they bombed with their kids, and discuss a certain compelling performance of "Memory." Kate Zelensky started a career in comedy in 2006 at The Upright Citizens Brigade having finally figured out that she wasn’t so good at musical theatre (th...

Well, everyone on the Toddler Purgatory/ What Fresh Hell team got Covid this summer, despite the fact that we work in different states! Blaire had a really bad time of it: her entire family came down with the virus all at once, and her kids felt pretty ill. Blaire and Molly discuss their own experiences with sick families and well-researched advice about how to deal with it in your own household i...

Mom guilt. Mom rage. Shame. We feel the things. Then we feel bad about feeling the things. Which doesn't help us feel any better. In this "Best Of" episode, we discuss how to acknowledge, anticipate, sit with, process, and redirect these feelings, without beating ourselves up for having felt them in the first place. Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode...

How do we talk to our kids about things we ourselves don't even fully understand? Some of the most difficult topics to discuss with kids are sex, death, illness, divorce, and natural disasters or tragedies. Molly and Blaire give recommendations for taking care of yourself, guiding the conversation, and avoiding euphemisms or metaphors that may be more harmful than helpful. Molly and Blaire discuss...

Is Disney World a childhood mecca or a cruel and unusual punishment? Rite of passage or consumerist hellscape? For some families, Disney is NOT the happiest place on Earth. Blaire and Molly discuss the pros and cons of taking their kids to Disney and why it maybe doesn't define their worth as parents. In this episode, Molly and Blaire discuss: The pros and cons of taking kids of different ages to...

How do we protect our kids from negative images about bodies, diet culture, and food without locking them in a Rapunzel tower? The truth is, we can't. But we CAN start nonjudgmental conversations about body positivity, food, and and self-esteem with our kids at home. In this episode, Molly and Blaire discuss: how to pay attention to your thoughts and beliefs around food and body image how to prais...

Our child has finally realized they are separate from us. Yay! Aaaaaand cue the separation anxiety. The fact that separation anxiety signals growth in kids doesn't make it any easier for mother or child. But there are coping strategies on both sides that can ease some of the pain. In this episode, Molly and Blaire discuss: What separation anxiety looks like in different ages (and in moms) The tend...

A child begins to have an innate sense of their gender between ages 3 and 5. It may be daunting to help kids understand something as complex as gender identity as such a young age, but being a safe space for kids to ask questions and share observations is a good place to start. In this episode, Molly and Blaire discuss: How to observe your own feelings and judgements about gender How to start the...

How young is too young to drive your kid three states away for a lacrosse tournament? Is it 5? (Yes, yes it is.) It's tempting to use sports to teach our kids valuable lessons, tire them out, and groom them for the Olympics. But sports for young kids are intrinsically valuable, even without structure, competition, or score keeping. And why would you want your kids to grow up to make millions of do...

Sometimes we wish we could just get away from it all. Is that wrong? We love our families! Even with that love in our hearts, it's tempting to yearn for a room of one's own with a solid, soundproof door. We asked our listeners what they would do with one entire week off, and for many of them it involved a lot of TV, snacks, and, in some cases, the cast of Queer Eye. In this episode. Molly and Blai...

Happy Father's Day! This episode, Molly and Blaire talk to their respective dads, Dick and Chuck, about their experiences as fathers and everything they've learned along the way. In this episode, Molly, Blaire, Dick, and Chuck discuss: Differences in parenting across generations What they would tell their past selves Raising foster children How to properly make gin and tonics Special thanks to thi...

When we see parents absolutely losing it at their children– and maybe even laying hands on them–are we obligated to act? Prevent Child Abuse America is clear that if you see something, you say something. The harder part is knowing what it is we've seen. We don't always know whether we're witnessing a regrettable but isolated incident or something that’s part of a pattern. We want to make sure we'r...

The term “spirited child” was coined by parent educator Mary Sheedy Kurcinka when she was looking for information regarding her own strong-willed son and only found words like “difficult”and “high-strung.” She believed that framing her son’s personality positively would help her focus on his strengths. And there’s no question spirited children bring us tons of joy– while also being emotionally int...

Britt Hawthorne is a mother, teacher, author, and anti-bias/antiracist facilitator. Britt partners with caregivers, educators, and families to raise the next generation of antiracist children. Her forthcoming book, Raising Antiracist Children: A Practical Parenting Guide, which comes out June 7th, is for families ready to take action that'll bring change at home. In this episode, Molly, Blaire, an...

Beach days. Pool days. Soccer camp. River days. Creek days. (Pick your preferred body of water, is what we're saying.) Are you exhausted yet? When the lazy days of summer start, we may feel pressure to entertain our toddlers every day. But that's not possible, since we're mere mortals. Molly and Blaire share their ideas for staying active with your kids during the summer months without getting ove...