Tiny Bites of Wagaliciousness

Can you ignore someone’s poor behavior? How about ignoring someone’s annoying behavior? When you learn to ignore things that ordinarily set you off, you’re learning to create your own inner peace. When you allow someone else’s behavior to dictate yours, you’ve forgotten how to create your own inner peace. Let other people do what they do – they’re going to do it anyway. Your job is to learn to ign...

John W. Gardner was the Secretary of Health Education and Welfare in the 1960’s, and in a speech he said, “No matter how hard you try to please, some people in this world are not going to love you – a lesson that is at first troubling and then really quite relaxing.” How could not being able to please someone be relaxing? Because the lesson is that it’s not ever your job to make someone love you....

Do you know how strong you are? You are amazing – even on the days where you don’t feel invincible, you still show up, doing your best. Even on the days where hormones are your enemy, you still show up, doing your best. Even on days where your team isn’t getting along, you still show up, doing your best. Is your best the same every day? No – some days you’ll have more resources and some days not s...

Guess what? You can’t know things you don’t know. Really think about that…you can’t know what you don’t know, so why do you beat yourself up when you don’t know something? We all do it, so don’t feel like you’re alone in this logical contradiction. You aren’t expected to know everything. You can’t know everything. And when you stop beating yourself up for not knowing, you open yourself up to learn...

Think about the long-term before giving out your phone number or allowing clients to contact you via social media channels. In the moment, when you want a client to update you on a particular case, it might feel right to give them your cell number. Be sure they’re people who will respect your boundaries in the future, because once they have your number, they have it. Maybe think about getting a se...

Whether or not you have children, what you do matters and will matter for generations to come. Many people believe that the only way to have a say on the future is to populate it with their offspring. That’s one way, but not the only way. You affect the future with your actions, big and small, and how they touch other lives and hearts. Your caring smile when someone is hurting affects them as only...

You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to. Think about it – some people just like to argue and will pick a fight with you so they have someone to argue with. And some people are really good at picking fights – if you’ve tried and succeeded before in ducking out of their desire for an argument, you can bet they’ll be back with better ammunition the next time. If someone is confronta...

When we get busy and harried, sometimes we get a little impatient or short-tempered. If you don’t want your team reacting to your frantic energy, then take the bull by the horns – when you’re feeling busy or like you’re having to scramble just to keep up, much less catch up, stop. Give yourself a couple of moments to reset the mental game. Yes, you’re busy. And yes, you’re up to the challenge. Thi...

Today, give yourself a huge gift. Have you considered how contradictory your imposter syndrome is? Other people believe in you, come to you and pay you for your expertise. You don’t think you’re good enough, for some reason, so you’re feeling like an imposter. And you question the judgement of the people who believe in you, instead of questioning your own self-judgement. When you’re struggling wit...

If you’re having issues with your team, do an experiment for one week. This will be tough and will require you to be present and focused on your own behavior. Here’s the experiment – before you step inside the hospital each day, think about each team member you’ll work with that day. Think about their good qualities only – no negativity allowed – and think about what you respect and love about eac...

Want to give yourself a huge hit of oxytocin? No, don’t reach for the syringe and dosing schedule, do something nice for someone. Called “the helper’s high” doing something nice for others gives you a hit of oxytocin. Maybe you’ll like doing what I like doing – drive-by’s. When running errands, I pay attention to the people around me and call it out. If a woman has a fabulous smile, I tell her she...

Do you love it? Do it…whatever “it” is. Your work is a calling and can be very rewarding. It can also be very stressful, even on the best days, so it’s important for you to do other things that you love. Giving yourself a creative or physical or intellectual pursuit to pour yourself into is a wonderful way for you to ease the stress, stretch your abilities and feed your soul. Want more?   Cli...

Can you ignore someone’s poor behavior? How about ignoring someone’s annoying behavior? When you learn to ignore things that ordinarily set you off, you’re learning to create your own inner peace. When you allow someone else’s behavior to dictate yours, you’ve forgotten how to create your own inner peace. Let other people do what they do – they’re going to do it anyway. Your job is to learn to ign...

Do you ever question whether you’re in the right profession? That’s fairly common in the veterinary profession, where a childhood dream became a passion and then a career. It’s normal to take stock in what you’re doing vs. what you dreamed you would be doing. If you find yourself questioning your career path often, it could be time for you to think seriously about what you want to do vs. what you’...

Think of your hospital team like a wolf pack. You’re all in it together and the survival of the hospital wouldn’t be possible without the contributions of each team member. Some are needier – think of them as wolf pups. Some, like new hires, are on the steep leg of the learning curve – think of them as the pack’s yearlings. The dynamics of the pack shift and change from month to month and year to...

Fence off your time off. Here’s what I mean by that – calendar your time off and respect that boundary. No one can be on call 24/7/365 and that includes you. A major part of mental wellbeing is ensuring that you have down time – time to recharge your batteries, feed your soul, read a good book, soak in a hot bath, go out with friends or just stay in your pajamas for a whole day. Decide what your w...

We’re human…no matter how upbeat, no matter how successful, we’ll all have down days and sour moods. Yep, even researchers like me who study how to be happier have gloomy days. Part of being human is having a full range of emotions, and some of them hit hard and hurt. Our choice and our power is that we don’t have to live with those feelings forever. Feel them, fix what you have the power to fix,...

Language matters, especially in stressful times. A very common phrase in the English language is “commit suicide.” Why might that be problematic? Because it’s judgmental – people commit crimes and suicide is a tragedy, not a criminal act. Consider “died by suicide” or “killed themselves” instead of “committed suicide.” I hope you never have to deal with it up close and personally - meanwhile, plea...

Did you know that what you eat for breakfast can affect your mood until lunch? Yogurt, bananas, nuts, berries and oats all have the power to move your mental attitude up, and so does dark chocolate, fatty fish and coffee. You don’t have to eat them all every day – just remember to add one or two of them to your meals for a natural mood lift. Want more?   Click here   for a free audio cou...

The older I get the more I understand the value of grey hair. Grey hair means you’ve fought a lot of battles and triumphed through them all. Grey hair means you’ve come to understand that some things are important and some things just feel important. Grey hair means you have seen the world change in profound ways and have the life experience to put those changes into perspective instead of fearing...

Sometimes it’s really tough to ask for help. Maybe you’re having to ask the same question you’ve asked before. Maybe the person you need help from intimidates you a little bit. Maybe you feel like you should be able to handle everything and shouldn’t have to ask for help. Ask anyway. When you allow someone else to guide you through a situation, you open yourself up to other ways of doing things an...

Did someone say something hurtful about you? Maybe it was to your face, maybe behind your back or maybe it was the most cowardly version, a social media post. They shot a proverbial arrow and it hit you hard. You have a choice in what you do. You can embrace the wound, show it to everyone you know, talk about it to anyone who’ll listen – and by doing that, you enlarge that wound and don’t let it h...

Has life just thrown you a huge curve ball? I’ll never forget how hurt, and how frightened I was the night I found out my 30-year marriage was over, and it felt like the fear and pain might last forever. Of course it didn’t, and it won’t for you either. Lean on your friends and let them remind you that smiling and laughing is still part of who you are. Make plans and keep them. Change up your rout...

For a minute, think about your life like it’s a map in the mall. You know the one – all the stores laid out before you, with a little red “you are here” mark so you can orient yourself. You don’t judge that little red mark, or chastise it for being in the wrong place. You simply make a mental note of where you are in relation to the store you want and then you take the steps necessary to get to th...

What is the definition of optimism? Oxford’s online dictionary says it’s hopefulness about the successful outcome of something. My mom said it’s knowing how to find the silver lining in even the darkest clouds. Some days it feels like optimism is the definition of lunacy! In day-to-day life, optimism is continuously reminding yourself to give even difficult people the benefit of the doubt, looking...