Tiny Bites of Wagaliciousness

Let’s talk about control freaks and how to be the best kind of control freak. Wait – what? That’s right – I want you to be a control freak. We all flourish when we’re control freaks…the trick is to know what you are actually in control of and only try to control that. You’re not in control of other people’s thoughts, feelings or behavior. Give that up. You’re not in control of the weather, either,...

Think about the best boss you’ve ever worked for. What was it that made them great? That answer is simple - great leaders lift up their people. Poor leaders just boss their people around. Mediocre leaders carp about what hasn’t been done and participate in office politics. Great leaders educate and uplift their people. Tell your team what you love about them, the job they do, and the way they work...

Do you have something negative happening in your life that seems to suck all the light and life out of you? That’s an awful way to feel, and it’s also perfectly normal. Life deals us challenges and losses and they can sometimes feel insurmountable. When that happens in your life, please remember that it’s temporary. No matter what is happening in your life right now, it’s temporary. It’s as tempor...

What is your current dream? Is it an extravagant vacation? A move to a new location? A major life change like marriage or a child? The pathway from your dreams to your success is in front of you. Sometimes it can be tough to see, and you can trust that it’s there because it is. From childhood we are conditioned to toe the line someone else draws for us, and yet the best way to create the life you...

One of my very favorite Facebook memes says “the difference between a flower and a weed is a judgement.” We value the rose and look down our noses at dandelions. Why? The rose has thorns that hurt, draw blood and sometimes leave the tip of the thorn under our skin, a reminder of the pain the rose inflicted. The dandelion has no thorns and as it matures, turns into a delightful, delicate array of l...

Do you feel like you need to explain yourself and your actions to others? Emblazon these two words into your brain: I’m good. You are a person of ability and integrity, and your actions are an extension of those qualities. When others fail to see you in all your glory, nothing you can say will change their mind. People make up their mind about who you are based on their life experiences, not yours...

Is there something you’d like to accomplish that you don’t feel quite prepared for yet? Oh, the terrible trouble that is caused by over-thinking and over-preparing because you don’t feel confident. Think about all that you’ve already accomplished – did you know at the very beginning of each endeavor exactly how it would unfold and turn out? Of course not – there’s always a surprise or two along th...

Did you read Sheryl Sandberg’s book, “Lean In”? One of my favorite concepts in the book is her view on leadership. According to Ms. Sandberg the ability to learn is the most important quality a leader can have. Think about it – the world is in a constant state of change and growth. A leader who doesn’t continue to learn and grow won’t be able to flex with those changes. A leader who values learnin...

If you can hone it, you can own it. What the heck does that mean? It means that your brain wants to work on things. Your brain is designed to work on things, to figure them out and to get better at them. You can choose how you want to be – more forgiving, more accepting, more flexible – and you can make yourself those things, or whatever you’d like to be. Catch yourself when you’re not being what...

Like the seashell that’s tumbled in the surf for a long time, you’ve been polished by life. You’ve been tossed around a bit, regained your balance and basked in the sun of your accomplishments. You’ve been prepared for what’s next by what’s been. You’ve studied, you’ve learned and you’ve grown. No one remains the same and you aren’t the exception to that rule. Reflect on your growth…your wisdom…th...

Is there someone in your life who needs a bit of coaching or behavior-correction? Maybe they’re a difficult person who isn’t coachable and teachable, but instead are defensive? This is a situation that can be tough to handle well and very easy to procrastinate about. Putting it off just means you’ll fret about it a lot more than is good for your physical and mental well-being, so here’s an idea th...

In your practice or company, what is the predominant atmosphere? Are your people supportive and helpful or are they guarded and maybe even a little bit suspicious? Which atmosphere would you rather have? OK…you can call me Captain Obvious for that question! At the beginning of everything good is generosity. People who are generous with each other are supportive and helpful. People who are guarded...

Do you find yourself evaluating the actions of others? The way they dress, talk, look? We’re not born judgmental, yet many of us turn out that way to one degree or another. Think about a time when you felt judged – it’s not a good feeling, is it? Maybe you even felt as if you needed to explain yourself…ouch! Sit in that feeling for a moment, and then ask yourself this question – do you want to mak...

If you watch the news, pay attention to how it makes you feel. Do you feel anxious? Frightened? Depressed? Do you want to feel those feelings? The news is designed to give you all of the bad things that happened today in a short period of time with good production value. News programs are just like every other program on broadcast television – they have to do everything possible to generate rating...

When you’re up to your eyeballs in something you don’t love, that’s stress just waiting to happen. When you’re up to your eyeballs in something you love, that’s passion in action. The trick is – you can always be doing something you like or love when you use neuroplasticity to shape your feelings. For instance, I really don’t like anything that has to do with paperwork and numbers. When tax time r...

Surround yourself with people whose values are similar to yours. That doesn’t mean the same opinions – life would be boring and you would never learn anything new. People with a diversity of opinions, experiences and ways of being in the world are good to have around you. And it’s also good to have people around you who want to uplift, who want to help and who understand the value those attributes...

Many people use pain as a wall to hide behind, ram into or as an excuse to not try. They do this because they don’t want to feel the pain and that’s a sensible desire. After all, who wants to feel pain? When someone hides from pain, continually butts their head into something painful or uses the pain as an excuse to not grow, that’s not healthy. Just as physical pain causes us to stop doing someth...

Have you heard the saying, “we don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are?” That may sound woo-woo and weird, but it’s a truth based in neuroscience. In the last decade scientists using diffusion imaging have watched how the brain responds during learning. Something new goes to short-term memory for sorting, then moves to long-term memory where it’s compared with what is already known a...

You’re so good at being patient and kind with others – why are you so mean to you? Ouch – are you feeling the need to defend yourself right now? It’s OK – I’m actually talking to me, too, along with every other human on the planet except maybe sociopaths. We are so good at giving others the benefit of the doubt, of helping them learn and grow, and being their shoulder when they are feeling do...

Maya Angelou said, “Remember – every storm runs out of rain.” How many literal rainstorms have happened during your lifetime? Hundreds? Thousands? The only way the number could be that high is because the storm subsided and the sun came out. That’s a literal version of what happens in life emotionally, too. In the depths of sadness or frustration or a sense of failure, remind yourself that every s...

Failing doesn’t mean you’re a failure. In the Irish culture, they have an interesting quirk of semantics that’s very empowering – instead of saying “I’m angry” they say “the anger came upon me.” It’s a very subtle shading that reminds the person saying it, as well as the person hearing it, that we are not how we feel. We can feel, and move on. So when you fail, you are not a failure. Failure came...

Oh, new love – is there any better feeling than that? The reason love feels so good is that we are choosing to see the best in the other person and daydreaming of how wonderful the next meeting will be. That’s easy to do when love is new, and tougher the longer you’ve been exposed to the not-so-best in the other person. No matter how wonderful your new love seems, remember they’re human – inevitab...

Have you ever wondered what goosebumps are? Y ou know, when you do something that feels so right, or say something that feels so true, that you get a warmth around your heart and little tingly bumps on your skin? You might even get puddly tears in your eyes. That’s you, connecting with the divine, however you define it, and celebrating a moment of perfect communion. When something gives you that f...

Do you get offended easily? Maybe you’re even tempted to quit Facebook because of the unpleasant things some people post. When you find yourself starting to get offended and defensive, stop. If you were out walking and saw a pile of dog poo sitting on the trail in front of you, would you walk around it or step in it? If you’d walk around it, then think of the things that offend you or upset you as...

Everything is beautiful. Everything. It’s up to you to look at in a way that highlights its beauty, not its flaws. Every neighborhood has that one yard filled with dandelions, threatening to scatter their floating seeds all over everyone else’s pristine lawns. If you have one of the pristine lawns, you could be irate with your neighbor the dandelion farmer or you could remember how magical it felt...