Tiny Bites of Wagaliciousness

A friend posted this online recently and I loved it so much that I got permission to use it as a Tiny Bite. Most of us were raised to do right, to get things right, to be agreeable, to be self-sufficient, to work hard, and to be the person our parents wanted us to be. Those are all admirable qualities, until we use them to beat ourselves up when we feel we’ve missed the mark. Listen up – here’s a...

How do you feel when someone is mad at you? Most people don’t like to make others mad, and depending on the relationship with the angry person, your feelings can range from hurt to defensive to a level of anger matching the other person’s. It’s human and normal to react to others’ reaction to you, and yet it is an exercise in pointlessness to try to change their feelings. Apologize in whatever man...

There is so much power in silence! It took me most of my life to figure this out and I want you to know it and use it way earlier than I did. Silence is the unexpected response. People expect agreement or argument – they don’t expect no response at all. Think about the last argument you were part of – how did it feel, and how did it play out? Was there agreement in the end, even if it was just agr...

Have you ever been around someone who is stuck in the aftermath of a life change? Some people simply don’t have the coping skills to move on. Don’t get me wrong – moving on is hard, especially when the life change was unexpected or unwanted or both. There’s not much that’s more tedious than having to re-live someone’s heartache over and over and over and over every time you’re with them. And there...

Is there someone in your life who always seems to be clashing with others, and maybe even with you? It’s like they live to argue, and only listen to a conversation long enough to find something or someone to correct. People like that are attention-seekers. They need to be the center of attention, and the way they have found is to contradict whatever’s being said. When you find yourself in conversa...

Quick – think about the worst teacher you ever had. What was it about that person that made sitting through their class so hard? Now, think about the best teacher you ever had – what made them so great? Have I told you about Mr. Buhn, my high school physics teacher? Getting into his class was tough – your GPA had to be great and there still was a waiting list each semester. He was popular bec...

What is resilience and how can you create more of it in your life? Resilience is trust. Trust in your ability to persevere. Trust in your ability to react appropriately. Trust in your ability to choose your next step wisely. How do you learn to trust yourself? By making mistakes, recognizing the mistakes, and from there, making a better choice. You can only become resilient through the rough patch...

Do you ever get lost? I know – it’s tougher than ever to get lost trying to drive somewhere. We have Waze, Google Maps, Siri – so many ways to help us get where we’re going, and yet, now and then those apps fail. How do you feel when you’re lost? Panicked? Frantic? Irritated? Angry? Can you make yourself laugh in that moment? Because if you can, you’ll put your brain in the mental space it needs t...

Do you cry easily? Some people do, and that’s OK. Do you hate to cry, especially in front of others? Some people, me included, do, and that’s OK, too. The focus of my work with people and teams is to help people shift gears in life on purpose, creating a more harmonious, calm, successful, happy life. Banishing negative emotions and teary episodes isn’t the way to do that. If you need to cry, cry....

One of my favorite famous-person quotes is from the late Norman Cousins: “The tragedy of life is not death, but what we let die inside of us while we live.” Norman Cousins was an American journalist and author who went on to become an adjunct professor at the University of California Los Angeles in the Department of Psychiatry and Biobehavioral Sciences. His research focus was the connection betwe...

Did you know your brain changes size during the year? It’s OK – everyone’s does, and researchers are trying to figure out just how and why these changes are triggered. Some changes are tied to the length of daylight, some seem affected by barometric pressure and humidity, and scientists are scratching their heads trying to make sense of our fluctuating brains. In the winter, the part of your brain...

Are you lamenting the passing of time? Wishing for a time in your life where your body was younger, your responsibilities were lighter, and your hopes and dreams felt reachable? Please stop wasting your precious energy and time looking backwards. You’re not going that way, nor could you even if you really wanted to. Nostalgia for a simpler time is a normal human reaction to stress or uncertainty,...

Do you give yourself as much credit as you deserve? Probably not – most of us don’t. What comes easily to each of us is our gift, and we usually take our gifts for granted. Even when you’ve spent years and years adding to your knowledge and expertise, you’re working on a part of you that you love, so it doesn’t feel like work. And when someone compliments you on how good you are at whatever your g...

Do you make space for things that make you happy? Most people don’t because they don’t believe that being happy is important. They don’t understand that one of the major predictors of success in life is having a satisfying life, and in order to have satisfaction, you must prioritize your own happiness. One day a week I dedicate to dog training and volunteering with Archie the therapy dog. Dog trai...

Recently, I was mentoring someone on Siberian Huskies. Her goal is to be able to judge them at dog shows, and a prerequisite is mentoring from several long-time owners. We were at a dog show and others were part of the circle of conversation as I started talking about the precaudal spot on the tail. As I relayed the information I was taught and have believed to be true for decades, someone chimed...

Do you ever get goosebumps or puddles in your eyes because something feels very real or true to you? That’s your body’s way of confirming that what you’re feeling is real. Goosebumps come from the primitive part of the brain and are tied to emotional response, not empirical response. The same is true of those tears that spring to your eyes and don’t fall – they help you release the rush of hormone...

Are you someone who worries about what others think of you? Many people do – I used to be one of them – and if it’s you, this Tiny Bite might ease your worry a bit. Let’s take you – do you love everyone you interact with? Every single person you work with, every single family member, every single driver on the road? Of course not – there are people who rub you the wrong way, people who get inside...

Let’s pretend you’re driving on an interstate in rolling, slow-ish traffic. Suddenly, the car in front of you stops just in time to not hit the one in front of them, and you slam on the brakes, barely missing the car in front of you. You look in the rearview and see the car behind you jerk to a stop, and the cars behind that one bailing onto the shoulder. What’s your immediate feeling and reaction...

Have you ever been in a place in your life where you felt like there was no good choice? That’s a tough place to be in, right? There’s always a choice, even if it doesn’t feel like a great choice at the moment. When you’re feeling stuck, stop and think about how you feel. Inhabit your feelings…examine your feelings…name them and feel them. Now, think about the choices you have, one by one, and abo...

How good are your good friends? Do you even know which ones are gold and which ones are tin foil? Yep, it’s entirely possible that you have a tin foil friend – one that looks all bright and shiny when you’re around, and when you’re not there, they show off their duller side. Need an example? Here you go – two girlfriends and I spent a lot of time together and had a lot of fun together. One day I w...

Have you ever watched a pet napping in a sunbeam? They’re so relaxed and so comfortable and so contented…wouldn’t it feel great to feel like that sometimes, too? Not only can you, you must! Busyness is a very bad habit that drains you of wellbeing while filling you up with a feeling of being productive, and by extension, a good person. Most of us are steeped in the whole “the more you do, the wort...

You know how good it feels when you fall in love, right? That dreamy, filmy, floating feeling that some people describe as butterflies, some say it’s like walking on air, and some say it’s the definition of euphoria. Movies, tv shows, TikTok reels all show us what love is supposed to look like. Stand by…I’m a rebel and might shock you with this one: Love isn’t a feeling…it’s a decision. No, that’s...

Want to help someone feel heard and understood? A big part of active listening is agreement, especially when the other person is upset. You might truthfully agree with something they said, so that makes this step easy – just say “I agree with you on (whatever the topic is.)” Maybe you don’t agree – you can still use the words “I agree” and agree with a broader concept instead of how they’re curren...

Have you ever used the phrase “what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger” when you were up to your eyeballs in tasks and deadlines? Maybe you are someone who believes that you get more done by multitasking like a multi-armed octopus? You eat stress for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and feel like you thrive in your fast-paced life? Let’s talk about muscles for a minute – you probably know that muscles...

Who is your favorite famous genius? Albert Einstein? Marie Curie? Nikola Tesla? Just what is “genius” anyway? Genius can be a major, soaring intelligence, and it can also be brilliance on a particular subject. Einstein quantified theoretical physics, Curie discovered radioactivity, Tesla pioneered electrical systems in use today. All were probably geniuses by either definition, and all were very f...