TICK TOCK ROCK

Check A tune for my godson Todd who's five years old, it was inspired by listening to him talk about his modern dance class which involves quite a lot of acrobatics including parkouring from the kitchen table onto the floor then spinning round on his back hissing loudly like a fried egg or an angry snake. my latest episode!

A little song I wrote on the 10.58 York to London train its about our celestial beauty queen the one we call little Jannine she seems to have a soul like a neutron star it keeps on pulsating energy and a light so bright we are I like dead and dying black dwarfs in the darkness of space keep on burning brightly girl don't stop rocking girl. latest episode!

A song I wrote about being at sea aboard huge luxury vessels is very glamorous and as a skipper come captain it is so easy to be wined and dined each evening by billionaires with the finest foods and drink the only drawback is that you steadily become an old soak, I worked alongside many captains who became just that, thinking back to a collision at night with JJ the skipper and a refugee boat he...

A song sang through the perspective of a bad tempered old tree ,a living monument of mystery ,  Robin Hood's tree is by far the most famous tree in all of ancient history  a thousand years of seething silent sophistry .

A preacher man told me that all of us come pre packaged with the seven shades of sin which are basically our primitive seven instincts of survival the only problem is that putting modern mechanisation into the hands of we the new chimpanzee is that we've managed with our Machiavellian mischief to destroy the garden of Eden that we live in. my latest episode!

A song I wrote about hair loss , a man's mane is similar to that of a lion as it recedes they both become timid and tame loosing pride and prowess both these mammals are now out of the game .

Check A song I wrote about an old friend who has now divorced and gone back onto the Mating sites looking for lust not realising that his old sex pistol has long since turned to rust . Men of curtain age with faint hearts and feeble flesh really they need to be careful whilst looking for a piece of fresh . I told one chum that his site" Bumble" might be better called crumble due to the dusty dispo...

A little ditty I wrote for Lily who's eleven we started singing a song for her father who's a sommelier and drinks fine wine all the time and also holds wine tasting with his Classé cru( crew) they all sample some really expensive brut (brew) I've made the wines sound almost female with sexual connotations due to his descriptive duologue on various liquid libations sound like a women i.e she's tea...

A little ditty for my god son who asked if he would become a bird if he caught bird flu.

Blue bloods are quite simply mad !! , they treat normal reality as an inconvenient triviality rules to them don't exist and the rest of mortality are kept around as fluffers for their pansexuality

A ditty I wrote about rescuing a friend in need beware you quickly end up with ten mouths to feed and everything you've worked for you usually concede. out my latest episode!

Every night I usually say to the woman in my little local shop what has happened in your life today ? she usually replies by saying oh not much then I always say you have my permission to lie but she never does.

A speech I wrote for a dear friend of mine who to me will always be the last bohemian fugitive, an artist for more than 65 years a very impressive figure who change my life for the better with his mindful mentoring.

This is about a young county lines guy we call LILY THE KID because he looks so girlish an angelic to be a druggie anyhow he's now disappeared on the run from police and a gang of heavy drug dealers from Bradford who dauntless want their money.

Sometimes a high functioning alcoholic can hide his addiction for years and years in his workplace he appears very professional in fact he's usually in charge but then even after many decades that old and filthy liquid narcotic will take its toll and eventually he comes for his payment in full and their once fantastic flying machines crash and burn in a spectacular blaze , bit like the Hindenburg...

A song I wrote as I was wondering what sort of Frankenstein freaks we would shape-shift to and how we would look if we were to ware our soul's within on the outside of our skin what ghouls and gargoyles we might see hence why I sing that Frankenstein's a friend of mine most men might not be happy with their spiritual spectras .

A song I wrote today for Lily's eleventh birthday, with a leather jacket and an attitude to match my own design of cause she's silicone sage and ready to fledge the family fold far too cool for school let TiK ToK ROCK +RULE !! .

In the swinging sixties a sexpionage spy scandal took place called the Profumo Affaire unfortunately two of its players were amateurs and didn't know what the rules of their spy games were ; one was sacrificed as a scapegoat and the other Christine Keeler lived life under a long dark cloud until she died and all because they were enlisted by MI5 into taking part in a Russian honey trap for Queen a...

A person who's cranial capacity is cast by abject austerity remains of that mind set even though they may elevate themselves to a privileged position of prosperity it will always have the mentality of a miser .

A song I wrote for the everso beautiful Lindsay who is leaving after 11 years she brought her LGBT spirit and colour into our drab fifty souls of grey community bombing us daily with vivid wondrous paintings. She takes with her an extraordinary feng-shui, losing her is like the loss of a perpetual summer's day , artists are the community take them away and you kill it's soul you're left with empty...

A little tune I wrote for the God children, its in a cockney rhyming slang in the old music hall style, written under pressure in four hours at Witherspoons pub this morning.

Humorous little sketch I wrote for Jeanine who was going to see strictly come dancing live in Leeds I wrote the sketch after listening to two old men complaining about the aches and pains in witherspoons Darlington it's narrated in their yorkshire accents, the photo is from strictly come dancing the same night in Leeds sent by JEANINE .

William marwood's long drop solution brought about a revolution in the British Empires approach for delivering a more humane method of execution . 

A song about the climate conference's waffling old windbags wheezing on about saving our world as they quaff down expensive wine squandering fifty pounds a glass and then dare to set the price of carbon capture at three pounds a ton , this be the token tariff to save your granddaughter or grandson ?.  latest episode!

A song about an artist girlfriend and her crazy cultural crew, their works of art or gestation periods of genius seem to carry similar traits and time scales to those of real pregnancies .  out my latest episode!