TICK TOCK ROCK

Sometimes a high functioning alcoholic can hide his addiction for years and years in his workplace he appears very professional in fact he's usually in charge but then even after many decades that old and filthy liquid narcotic will take its toll and eventually he comes for his payment in full and their once fantastic flying machines crash and burn in a spectacular blaze , bit like the Hindenburg...

A song I wrote as I was wondering what sort of Frankenstein freaks we would shape-shift to and how we would look if we were to ware our soul's within on the outside of our skin what ghouls and gargoyles we might see hence why I sing that Frankenstein's a friend of mine most men might not be happy with their spiritual spectras .

A song I wrote today for Lily's eleventh birthday, with a leather jacket and an attitude to match my own design of cause she's silicone sage and ready to fledge the family fold far too cool for school let TiK ToK ROCK +RULE !! .

In the swinging sixties a sexpionage spy scandal took place called the Profumo Affaire unfortunately two of its players were amateurs and didn't know what the rules of their spy games were ; one was sacrificed as a scapegoat and the other Christine Keeler lived life under a long dark cloud until she died and all because they were enlisted by MI5 into taking part in a Russian honey trap for Queen a...

A person who's cranial capacity is cast by abject austerity remains of that mind set even though they may elevate themselves to a privileged position of prosperity it will always have the mentality of a miser .

A song I wrote for the everso beautiful Lindsay who is leaving after 11 years she brought her LGBT spirit and colour into our drab fifty souls of grey community bombing us daily with vivid wondrous paintings. She takes with her an extraordinary feng-shui, losing her is like the loss of a perpetual summer's day , artists are the community take them away and you kill it's soul you're left with empty...

A little tune I wrote for the God children, its in a cockney rhyming slang in the old music hall style, written under pressure in four hours at Witherspoons pub this morning.

Humorous little sketch I wrote for Jeanine who was going to see strictly come dancing live in Leeds I wrote the sketch after listening to two old men complaining about the aches and pains in witherspoons Darlington it's narrated in their yorkshire accents, the photo is from strictly come dancing the same night in Leeds sent by JEANINE .

William marwood's long drop solution brought about a revolution in the British Empires approach for delivering a more humane method of execution . 

A song about the climate conference's waffling old windbags wheezing on about saving our world as they quaff down expensive wine squandering fifty pounds a glass and then dare to set the price of carbon capture at three pounds a ton , this be the token tariff to save your granddaughter or grandson ?.  latest episode!

A song about an artist girlfriend and her crazy cultural crew, their works of art or gestation periods of genius seem to carry similar traits and time scales to those of real pregnancies .  out my latest episode!

A song written for Todd aged 5 and his cat Sean the cat who's got terribly fat due to him being pampered to the point he now thinks he's a human. out my latest episode!

A little song for my God son Todd about a two toed sloth they're always portrayed as the epitome of sinfulness i.e laziness but this little arboreal adaption turns out to be the perfect green dream a hairy little leaf eating machine which has a zero carbon footprint and could save the world all on its own , we would do well to put a little of the sinful slow sloth back in our own fast food life st...

A short song I wrote for my godson Todd after seeing how the human being is producing hybrid animals zebra crossed with rhinoceros I mean have we gone completely mad what's next a cockerel crossed with a kangaroo?.

A song I wrote in the old music hall traditiion of two verse chorus which is similar to the church stanza chorus stanza chorus I've also sang it in the barber shop style of my father who born in 1925 still bursts into song similar to a Mississippi boat minstrel .

You want to break free from this one two three of society the none stop worker bee of our routine of conformity

A song about a women whose mischief like that of lady Macbeth caused many a death.

A musing about a greasy spoon girl we call Nigella from the Favella If cook's could kill then this girl is definitely licensed to grill !! she's always standing by ever ready to kill your stomach acid with her peppermint pill .

The third slave uprising of Rome was crushed a hundred thousand men lay dead on the battlefield and another six thousand were crucified along the appian way and left to rot as carrion crow fodder a lesson for anyone else minded to rebel against the might of Rome.

A song I wrote in the old music hall traditiion of two verse chorus which is similar to the church stanza chorus stanza chorus I've also sang it in the barber shop style of my father who born in 1925 still bursts into song similar to a Mississippi boat minstrel . 

A little tune i wrote for James who's very devout in his religion each Sunday we usually have a long discussion with him trying to convert me to his Christianity and me remaining with my humble hallowed humanity both of us remaining respectful to each others theistic thoughts.

A song I wrote for the king of rock and roll it's done in a crooning style of the fifties. He was born into extreme poverty raised in a shotgun shack but managed not only to break out of but also to attack the musical apartheid of America he was one of the first to start singing the black man's blues , he went from busking as a bum on Beale Street to having the world worshipping at his feet an all...

The Oxfam shop or as we call it "The dead man's drop" is an essential part of our high street culture we all of us at some stage find ourselves sifting through their silt as if stroking and smelling the scents and spirits of our past relatives like some lost and found bric-a-brac burial ground we old elephants come to rummage around amongst the bones and skin of our not so long ago departed kin. U...

This is a song i wrote about the catastrophic creations cause through having too much cosmetic surgery leaving so many a patient in the perpetual state of a reconstructive purgatory the surgeons are called the picasso's of the plastique, well they certainly end up with a foot an mouth or a tongue-in-cheek , they sculpture and scalpel at something that once started out as the face of the fantastic...

A prick of our precious pride is all that's needed to derail and deride our sensibility into taking a walk back onto its wild side .