TICK TOCK ROCK

A short musical advert I wrote about a packet of crisps it had to be thirty seconds in length only and concisely to the point of falling in love with the product which is quite hard to get the message across clearly and quickly

CheckA song I wrote for super tramp who had a very good cure for his halitosis panting out perfumed breath after drinking your bathroom cabinet dry , slaking down aftershave aperitifs . 

A short song I wrote about the monster munch crisps as a love song I did it whilst riding aboard a train the 11.34 from Bicester to London Marylebone station 12.38 recorded in two takes outside McDonald's in double quick time.

The British boarding schools were without doubt what built the British Empire, anyone subjected to this kind of cruelty or brutal treatment could easily subjugate a sufferance over someone else especially another nationality or creed which the British empire managed to achieve for a few hundred years each school had peculiar traits, Eton for instance use to be famous for its flage fridays where in...

A little tune i wrote for James who's very devout in his religion each Sunday we usually have a long discussion with him trying to convert me to his Christianity and me remaining with my humble hallowed humanity both of us respectful of each others theistic thoughts.

A short song about some one who has decided to live on two packets of rolos per day to loose weight.

a song I wrote for a friend of mine who seems obsessed with living on a diet of twiglets to lose weight

A song I wrote about taking your wedding vows which my father did back in 1959 the preacher boomed blood and fire brimstone as if God himself were speaking which sobered him up from his stag night slake .

Checa short song I wrote and sang whilst on the Birmingham to Bristol train 11.42 to13.14 not a bad effort I sang it in the station car park the builders had stopped for lunch they thought I'd gone mad but two takes and it was done.

A quick song I wrote about Florence nightingale the woman they used to called the Lady with The Lamp or The Angel in White.

If ever you should take a drink with a witch make sure you leave the very same night before the break of day or the dawn of light by which time you might just find yourself in a very unfortunate plight of being subjected to her JuJu cat's emasculation bite that leaves you as some sort of strangely sculptured hermaphrodite .

A short song I wrote about owning a car in the swinging sixties which was extremely rare especially for young people but if it was a jaguar then you were the nouveau rich make believe millionaires the fake faux movie stars members of my family and their friends were just this usually their balloons burst into bankruptcy debt and divorce, too much money in young hands its like mixing desire togethe...

A little impromptu ditty about a friend who we use to call Brandy Man a strange manifestation use to happen with dire consciences every time he drank brandy he'd  think he was a superman  .l  throw it together on a train from Harrogate to sandy strange as you sing it into shape softly people think you've gone mad talking to yourself .

Here’s an episode that will keep you waiting for the next one. Tune in now!

After listening to an enquiry about the death of Dr David Kerry in the scandal of the weapons of mass destruction in the Iraq war the prime minister stood rather like Judas when he was asked by a reporter "do you have blood on your hands " Jerusalem and the middle east has been in countless wars destroyed many times and taken over by countless crusaders, The quote after his middle Eastern debacle...

A short story  about a mans narcissistic nature , which is really an inferiority complex brought about by the miracle making of motherhood , I.e he's constantly engage in  egotistical endeavours to try and attain some what of a second rate materialistic miracle compared to that of his women.

This is a short song I wrote for Colette's birthday she's an angel faced florist who works out of a norman church on a country estate, surrounded by angelic statues all halos and wings adding to this heavenly scene is her being bathed and baptized in the divine light from the stain glassed windows along with the scent from the flowers you think you've arrived at the garden of Eden, but then again...

CheckA song I wrote for a crazy young girl who's beauty could have caused Aphrodite to scream a red rage of jealously, it was fairly obvious to see her maker man was completely OCD and once you're under her spell you just can't break free .

a song I wrote whilst watching builders at work they seem to reduce your world to a rubble trouble you go from living in a home to caravan their two day builds turns into a two year course the city and guilds .

A short sketch written about my parents and the differing opinions they had my mother wanted to have all plastic surgery possible but my father was happy the way he was . out my latest episode!

They called her La Pucelle The maiden of steel Joan of arc who saved France from the hundred years war with the English but as usual her own French nobels through tricks and treachery sold her back to the English after she'd won back France they charged her with cross dressing and heresy she was burned at the stake three times till her bones turned to dust but her legend never did rust. In 1909 at...

A song about an artist girlfriend and her crazy cultural crew, their works of art or gestation periods of genius seem to carry similar traits and time scales to those of real pregnancies

The blues bar girls where the Amazonian hell raisers we called them the Sisters of Satan, all in black leather they drank from dawn till dusk fuelled on speed an cocaine they'd come in singing and swinging , heaven help the men who fell in love they'd use an abuse ya then leave ya heart bitten raw like a old dogs chew bar.

a short song I wrote and sang this morning , its about being under the total command of a fat controller

An English king's breakfast could consist of swine flesh, embryos , fungi ,congealed blood , kippers, herring's, pike , roach various birds venison, cockles , pilchards .  when thinking about the Buddhist belief of reincarnation wouldn't it be a devine justice if these gargantuan gluttonous came back as screaming red faced tomatoes in a vegan salad .