TICK TOCK ROCK

A short song I wrote about owning a car in the swinging sixties which was extremely rare especially for young people but if it was a jaguar then you were the nouveau rich make believe millionaires the fake faux movie stars members of my family and their friends were just this usually their balloons burst into bankruptcy debt and divorce, too much money in young hands its like mixing desire togethe...

A little impromptu ditty about a friend who we use to call Brandy Man a strange manifestation use to happen with dire consciences every time he drank brandy he'd  think he was a superman  .l  throw it together on a train from Harrogate to sandy strange as you sing it into shape softly people think you've gone mad talking to yourself .

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After listening to an enquiry about the death of Dr David Kerry in the scandal of the weapons of mass destruction in the Iraq war the prime minister stood rather like Judas when he was asked by a reporter "do you have blood on your hands " Jerusalem and the middle east has been in countless wars destroyed many times and taken over by countless crusaders, The quote after his middle Eastern debacle...

A short story  about a mans narcissistic nature , which is really an inferiority complex brought about by the miracle making of motherhood , I.e he's constantly engage in  egotistical endeavours to try and attain some what of a second rate materialistic miracle compared to that of his women.

This is a short song I wrote for Colette's birthday she's an angel faced florist who works out of a norman church on a country estate, surrounded by angelic statues all halos and wings adding to this heavenly scene is her being bathed and baptized in the divine light from the stain glassed windows along with the scent from the flowers you think you've arrived at the garden of Eden, but then again...

CheckA song I wrote for a crazy young girl who's beauty could have caused Aphrodite to scream a red rage of jealously, it was fairly obvious to see her maker man was completely OCD and once you're under her spell you just can't break free .

a song I wrote whilst watching builders at work they seem to reduce your world to a rubble trouble you go from living in a home to caravan their two day builds turns into a two year course the city and guilds .

A short sketch written about my parents and the differing opinions they had my mother wanted to have all plastic surgery possible but my father was happy the way he was . out my latest episode!

They called her La Pucelle The maiden of steel Joan of arc who saved France from the hundred years war with the English but as usual her own French nobels through tricks and treachery sold her back to the English after she'd won back France they charged her with cross dressing and heresy she was burned at the stake three times till her bones turned to dust but her legend never did rust. In 1909 at...

A song about an artist girlfriend and her crazy cultural crew, their works of art or gestation periods of genius seem to carry similar traits and time scales to those of real pregnancies

The blues bar girls where the Amazonian hell raisers we called them the Sisters of Satan, all in black leather they drank from dawn till dusk fuelled on speed an cocaine they'd come in singing and swinging , heaven help the men who fell in love they'd use an abuse ya then leave ya heart bitten raw like a old dogs chew bar.

a short song I wrote and sang this morning , its about being under the total command of a fat controller

An English king's breakfast could consist of swine flesh, embryos , fungi ,congealed blood , kippers, herring's, pike , roach various birds venison, cockles , pilchards .  when thinking about the Buddhist belief of reincarnation wouldn't it be a devine justice if these gargantuan gluttonous came back as screaming red faced tomatoes in a vegan salad .

The little amusing sketch I wrote about a dinner party listening to the girls talking about their men servants

A short sketch I wrote and recorded this morning, it's about my milky white male friends who are quite terrified of their wives , our Saturday quiz is usually when we men huddle together and bitch about them and the street, still were quite fearful of these power crazy wives who all have top jobs and jack boots.

A short story loosely based upon my parents contempt for each other even after their divorce, one being a bombastic BBC with the soul of queen Boudicca and the other a drink dependant dipsomaniac .

A little musing for my friend's daughter who yesterday arrived for lunch at a fancy restaurant then stormed out half way through her beetroot salad eyes flashing blue lighting an doors thunder clapping behind her , another typhoon in a tea cup

The song written for a friend called James who started cross dressing in his late 40s which to some may seem crazy at such a late stage of life but ultimately it was a very brave statement to make and now his soul and sentience seem to found their symbiotic status quo.

A song written about my rolly Polly fat flat mate who lost a massive amount of weight becoming ever so serious and slim , I on the other hand have taken his place becoming fat and happy obviously morphing to the company I've kept .

The big bang is a short story I wrote about the wine soiree that took place in a very milky middle class District of Harrogate , with a soon tobe sommelier and a selection of Christian friends who once they'd had sufficient drink began to diverge towards their deviants that really they should have left caged in their craniums .

A short song written for my god daughter lily was just becoming a teen and like myself her parents seemed to be going through a little bit of hell and high water of a midlife crisis it all feels very unnerving.

A short song about the mixing of different bloods in America with the pioneers and the native Indians and what a terrifically strong tribe of people they produced , one Indian chief whose mother was a white pioneer Cynthia Ann Parkers was especially feared as a Comanche chief due to his incredible toughness and savagery which by all accounts came from his mother.

A eulogy/song for Grandfathers they're like old sentinels that stand  guard over us in our early infant years , stolid as grandfather clocks their old heavy hearts pendulum the rhythm of life into our new born ears a mortal metronome that keeps a steady beat to the timpani of our tiny pattering feet.

A song for Big Manchester Pete, the hardest-looking man you'd ever meet, though his face may seem like it was made for a trick or treat, inside he had a big old heart that was as soft as a boiled sugar beet.