TICK TOCK ROCK

A song written for a friend who has decided to live on just cadbury's caramel for nine days.

A short little ditty written for a friend who's living on just Cadburys caramel each day, it had to short under a certain time to fit into the length of an advertisement.

She read mien kampt and the marquis de sade  a sexual psychopath who fell asleep leather clad.  A blood letting Banshee of tormenting and torture That gave no clemency or quarter ; She had an iQ of above one hundred and twenty two a dipsomaniac who'd tremble you to with DTS and night sweat you to a cold freeze. out my latest episode!

A little song about setting off on a world tour in the late seventies, it was nothing like today there were no mobile phones or multimedia just the odd phone box for calls . Your thumb and forefinger were used for hitchhiking thousands of miles around the globe taking years and years almost a decade to the point where many of us became wonderless but we did become quite skilled in the art of conve...

A short song I wrote for a friend of mine who's going on a diet of just Curly Wurlys for ten days good luck to him

This is a song i wrote about the catastrophic creations cause through having too much cosmetic surgery leaving so many a patient in the perpetual state of a reconstructive purgatory the surgeons are called the picasso's of the plastique. out my latest episode!

If you ever fall under the spell of a Jezabel then you will be lucky if you leave with your life every thing else will be ransacked and broken into pieces by these A morel Doomsday machines who don't even realise what they're doing.

A short song I wrote whilst trapped in rush hour on the M25 its certainly a highway to hell and your brain boils in its crab faced shell at night it turns into a Cannon Ball Run a hundred and seventeen miles of Mad Max fun with motor cycles screaming past like something out of the movie Top Gun .

a short song I wrote a couple of days ago whilst on a train back from London for a friend who's on a malteser diet.

A song I wrote in the old music hall tradition of two verse chorus which is similar to the church stanza I've also sang it in the barber shop style of my father who born in 1925 still bursts into song similar to a Mississippi boat minstrel . 

A song about an artist girlfriend and her crazy cultural crew, their works of art or gestation periods of genius seem to carry similar traits and time scales to those of real pregnancies . 

As you get older looking for love is similar to rummaging through a scrap yard come jumble sale you sift an shake through the worn torn fragile and fail usually to no avail things are stretched out of shape almost befitting the proverbial grey whale instead of the once sleek male or female then suddenly there it is the right one for you the little bunny rabbits bob tail an together you dovetail pe...

A song I wrote for a crazy young women who's beauty could cause Aphrodite to scream a red rage of jealously, its fairly obvious to see her maker man was completely OCD and once you're under her spell you just can't break free .

Paint me warts and all said Olivier Cromwell who had the skin of an old toad after his death he was hung at Tyburn then decapitated his head was put on a pole outside Westminster palace the parliament he'd spilt so much blood to put in place .

A short musical advert I wrote about a packet of crisps it had to be thirty seconds in length only and concisely to the point of falling in love with the product which is quite hard to get the message across clearly and quickly

CheckA song I wrote for super tramp who had a very good cure for his halitosis panting out perfumed breath after drinking your bathroom cabinet dry , slaking down aftershave aperitifs . 

A short song I wrote about the monster munch crisps as a love song I did it whilst riding aboard a train the 11.34 from Bicester to London Marylebone station 12.38 recorded in two takes outside McDonald's in double quick time.

The British boarding schools were without doubt what built the British Empire, anyone subjected to this kind of cruelty or brutal treatment could easily subjugate a sufferance over someone else especially another nationality or creed which the British empire managed to achieve for a few hundred years each school had peculiar traits, Eton for instance use to be famous for its flage fridays where in...

A little tune i wrote for James who's very devout in his religion each Sunday we usually have a long discussion with him trying to convert me to his Christianity and me remaining with my humble hallowed humanity both of us respectful of each others theistic thoughts.

A short song about some one who has decided to live on two packets of rolos per day to loose weight.

a song I wrote for a friend of mine who seems obsessed with living on a diet of twiglets to lose weight

A song I wrote about taking your wedding vows which my father did back in 1959 the preacher boomed blood and fire brimstone as if God himself were speaking which sobered him up from his stag night slake .

Checa short song I wrote and sang whilst on the Birmingham to Bristol train 11.42 to13.14 not a bad effort I sang it in the station car park the builders had stopped for lunch they thought I'd gone mad but two takes and it was done.

A quick song I wrote about Florence nightingale the woman they used to called the Lady with The Lamp or The Angel in White.

If ever you should take a drink with a witch make sure you leave the very same night before the break of day or the dawn of light by which time you might just find yourself in a very unfortunate plight of being subjected to her JuJu cat's emasculation bite that leaves you as some sort of strangely sculptured hermaphrodite .