Thot Topics

Bad news y'all we figured how to make a soundboard Pardon Nick's weird gross sick voice, but we are back in the booth for an emergency transmission on all things big, huge, gargantuan, ginormous, and whaleish! We take Lizzo's accusers to task and address the haters head-on: would these "dancers" have a job without Lizzo? Does it sound kinda fun to eat a nana out the na-na? Should pop stars have HR...

**PREVIEW. PATRONS ONLY. SUB FOR FULL ACCESS AT PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS **   We're about to turn Hiroshima into HiroSHEma, OKAYYY????   Welcome back to our Barbieful Dark Twisted Fantasy-- we reconvene in the sweltering heat of Chicago summa to let our brains cook and let the takes fly like the free birds they are.   We have a LOT of ground to cover this evening folks: we discuss our rapturous expe...

They feed us poison (Vegetables) / So we take their "cures" (Wellbutrin XR) / While they suppress our medicine (Diet Dr Pepper) Live from the top of the food pyramid, it's Thot Topics! We pregame for the Beyonce concert by once again talking about our inability to feed ourselves properly, but there's so much more TEXTURE to it this time. We also review a big weekend of new music, from Ice Spice to...

**PATRONS ONLY** SUBSCRIBE FOR FULL ACCESS AT PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS This is the hand that gives... and this is the hand that's taking it... We're back and joined by the honorable Judge Sydney in the courtroom of the mind's eye, AKA the newly expanded Thot Topics Plus-Sized Creators Studio. There's MUCH to discuss and many beers to drink before we have to start our intermittent fast-- so let's get...

We the ijbol, in order to form a more perfect union, find these justices in contempt of CUNT!   Ready to hear the wind whistle through the skulls of two gay guys as they attempt to form a cogent opinion about politics? This week, the girls unpack the week's big Supreme Court decisions. We heard the jury was hung so we HAD to investigate. Gay websites and gay wedding cakes, affirmative cracktion, a...

*PATRONS ONLY! SUBSCRIBE TO THE THOT TOPICS PATREON FOR ACCESS TO THE FULL 2 HOUR EPISODE AT PATREON.COM/THOTTOPICS * Get in faggot we're going to Arby's! This week, the girls convene unda da sea to discuss all things sub-marine and on dry land! For starters, we cover all the new music that's come out since we last had a girly little chitchat: Kim Petras's "debut album" FEED THE BEAST, the Barbie...

Live from the deep slayyyte, Chris from CuteAnon joins us in the studio and we have a total caBALL! I'm just a mole, sir!   I'll keep it real and say that this is just some good old fashioned gay guys talking over a couple of cold ones. Isn't this what you came for!? With a little help from Truth or Drink, we really get to know each other in a wet and wild way. Pillow fight!!   Follow the girls on...

**PREVIEW ONLY. FULL 2-HOUR EXTRAVAGANZA ON PATREON!** Welcome to the jungle baby!!! We're finally back in (monkey) business and ready to swing from tree to tree! This week, we come to you bearing a double-length episode that's all about FAME, CELEBRITY, STAR POWER, and FUN!! First, we review the new HBO series THE IDOL: is Lily-Rose Depp a good actress? Would that "I'm Just a Freak" song be a hit...

You already know what time it is! We asked the Thot Topics community to pick up the phone and buss open their inner worlds-- and boy did they deliver!   Over the course of this double-long extra thick episode, we hear the homosexual and female voices of listeners like YOU and get to the bottom of everyone's most pressing issues.   How can you get gay guys to ogle you to make your girlfriend jealou...

**PATRONS ONLY** We return to the booth with clear minds and open hearts, ready to do a little bit of Matty Healing. Love WINS! This week, we have a big girls' cocktail powwow to discuss Taylor Swift's pivot to NAZISM after fraternizing with KNOWN PORN WATCHER The 1975's Matty Healy. What does this mean for Taylor? Is being a porn star empowering or degrading to these people? What are Inuit people...

Pretty hurts... and ugly kills 💔 RT if u cry everytime...   We're back! This week, the girls take to the stage and channel their poise, beauty, grace, and tact to see how well they'd fare in the face of the Top 25 most commonly asked Miss Universe interview questions. From role models to world peace, we put our heads (and breasts) together to find an answer that will please the judges.   But that...

It was a slow news week AGAIN (let's fucking look alive people!!) so we decide to turn to the world of social science to discover what sort of surprises lay in wait. Brought to you by THEE original diva-doll Isabel Myers-Briggs, this episode features the girls diving deep into their sick and twisted psyches to find out which of the 16 personalities describe them best. Could we be E for Extra Juicy...

Not a lot of topics this week... we went in with a game plan I swear! This week, we convene for a wine-drunk Girls' Summit and discuss everything that's on our sick and twisted minds. Honestly, what DON'T we cover? The difference between people who come out in high school vs college, the Super Mario Movie, this spring's new and very off vibe, being more famous than Bob the Drag Queen, being clocka...

**PATRONS ONLY!!** Subscribe for full backdoor access. I mean backstage access. Or do I?  Hey girl! Did you know that uhm. There's a tunnel under ocean boulevard?? Believe it or not we thought we were going to have time to talk about the TikTok ban and school shooters LOL! This week, we deliver the definitive two-hour-long deep dive into Lana Del Rey's new album. In a track by track evaluation, we...

OOF!   We take our big, feathery female investigative journalist hats off and place them FIRMLY on the rack this week in the name of hot, wet FUN! This week, we forgo all reporting and take-making duties to play an intense game of TRUTH OR DRINK, revealing more personal details than we ever have in our podcasting careers.   I don't want to spoil anything but we get literally so wasted on this epis...

**PATRONS ONLY. SUBSCRIBE FOR FULL LENGTH EP!** We just got HIV!!! WOOOOOO! Ayyy! The boy's a liarrrr! Oooh! The boy's a liarrrr! HEYYY!!!  This week is all about sin: who's got it? Who wants it? Who's taking it out on consenting unconscious adults? Only one podcast has the answers. Following a brief State of the Podcast address, we get down to business. First, we psychoanalyze the HIV Twink. Is i...

We've come together for an emergency session to address the end of the word "mother" and the woman who delivered the death blow: Meghan Freakin Trainor, Queen of PAWGs.  Naturally that's not all: we discuss the pathetic state of everyday mens' fashion, the Chicago mayoral race (including a heartfelt tribute to our muppet queen Lori Lightfoot), and how to say various cuss words in sign language. We...

We're back with a vengenace! (We're=Onika,Vengeance=Burger) We know we left you ladies hanging last week so this week we're unleashing a double-wide super-soaked hot-and-horny God-fearing two part special. We've accepted a truly prime list of topic suggestions from our listeners and get to the emotional heart of whatever mentally ill behavior went down online the last few weeks. The first chapter...

It was a slow news week so we decide to take the cultural temperature-- by performing an in-depth review of the current Top 15 on the Billboard Hot 100. What does the presence of Bebe Rexha mean for America? Is Miley Cyrus "Flowers" astroturfed or do people really like this shit? Does mummy know that daddy's getting hot at the bodyshop? ALL is revealed. But that's not all: we christen Cris's new a...

PATRONS ONLY! You wouldn't get it. Subscribe on Patreon for the rest of the episode. In our iciest and spiciest episode yet, we hold a bookkeeping powwow ahead of tax season: why didn't anyone tell us we were supposed to set aside money from the Patreon to give to the government? It's not like JOE BIDEN stuck out his fucking NECK to tell the truth about Tinashe... With the chips stacked and the co...

We're back-- and this time, it's pussonal... In this double-wide spectacular, we let out a lot of extremely complicated, unique, and sexy emotions: RAGE: We talk about the unjust cancellation of Betsey Brown's Actors screening at the Music Box Theatre, and psychoanalyze our haters. ENNUI: If your parents raised you to love fast food is it ever possible to learn portion control? REGRESSION: Are chi...

**PATRONS ONLY. TRAILER FOR THE POOR!** In our inaugural episode of the Year of the Rabbit, we get little crazy and Asian up in here! It's RICH!  First, we have a little bit of much-needed girl time: Nick tells the story of his engaygement, and Cris recounts his trip to the Camein Guylands. Plus, we discuss Apple's behavioral issues, and not caring about the environment. But that's not all: we giv...

Dear Thot Topics, I wrote you but you still ain't callin'! I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone and I'm a bottom! In our final episode of 2022 we take the crisis calls of our beloved, deeply troubled listeners. Talk about a therapy sesh! Let us in those ears mama! We talk about getting over your fear of gay men, how to date when it seems like all gay guys are libtards, giving up on monogamy...

There should be an option for me to tag whether or not we got drunk for the episode because it's honestly way more offensive than "strong language"   We're back to run a 2 hour long Meghan train on your earholes with the week's most riveting topix. (It was slim pickings honestly but I think we did okay.) First, we review the nefarious homosexual finale of THE WHITE LOTUS and decide what secret hom...

The girls are girlinggggg!   Welcome back to the newly expanded Thot Topics lounge! Unbuckle your girdle and take your panties off because it's about to get extremely raw up in here. Sorry to have kept you waiting so long but we promise we won't leave you again for the next set of holidays...   This week, we allow the Patreon sisters to be our memory for the last two weeks and we chime in on every...